Why does everyone hate me and why do I want to die so badly?

Hi. I am struck my one thing in what you wrote here: no mention of your family at all. Tell us what it's like at home. Do you feel loved there by even one person?

No. I don't.

While others may have criticism, let me try to be helpful. You don't tell us your age, so it's hard to have truly good advice. I'll try several approaches: First, you may be a teen around the age of 13 or 14. I'm a father of five girls, my baby is now 24, so I've had a little experience with hormonal changes that kids go through. That may be the answer to why you feel like this.

I'm not trying to minimize your situation rather, I'm attempting to point out that these things will change. Probably at your age your memory of the hard times you've been through may be affected by these hormonal changes. What was a not so good situation when you were younger can easily seem like horrible things. I'm not saying you didn't have those experiences, and that's not what this is about. You want help.

You mention being Christian. OK, I'm not, but I can respect your beliefs. Nevertheless, hoping to better your life by destroying it is a HUGE mistake. There are NO guarantees there is a heaven, and there are no guarantees that you will end up there. I've spent over 20 years studying the bible so I have an idea about what I speak, I'm not totally ignorant to the issues. One passage in the bible says there is no consciousness in death. To me that doesn't sound like ending up in heaven (or hell).

So how do you proceed? For starters, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You will grow and you will change. The way you deal with people will also change. If people don't like you right now, they will soon enough. But I also find that people who go around blowing a horn ahead of themselves saying their life is miserable - well, it tends to put people off. Again, if I'm right about your age, your peers are not yet mature either. Their actions and conduct can be expected to reflect ignorance of life. They search for ways to control life around them because they feel otherwise not in control. One way to exercise control is to control other people. Calling them names and making them angry or cry is a way of feeling empowered. They do that to make themselves feel better, even if it's at the expense of another person.

You allow them to affect your life, that's why they do it. SO WHAT if they think you're a BlTCH. It's only their opinion, and what do they know?! You (and I) know you're not that person. So go on being yourself. Just don't go around looking sad; it makes you a target.

A little personal history: I was a straight A student; graduated two years ahead of my classmates, valedictorian, maintained a 4.0 GPA through college and got my degree. Most of my school friends only wanted to ride my coat tails (get a free ride). Aside from that I heard "GEEK", "BOOK WORM" and lots of other things, sometimes not so wonderful to hear. It bothered me quite a bit too. I even went through depression at that age too. I handled my depression in two ways: First, I had long talks with adults (some of my closest friends parents). Not my own parents, for some reason I didn't think they would understand, or I feared they may lock me away because I was a mental defect. The other way I helped myself was by writing my feelings on paper. That did two things: One was to help get those feelings out, the other was that after I wrote them I could destroy them by tossing them in the fireplace and watching those negative feelings disappear. OK, you don't have to burn them, but you can tear them up and throw them down the toilet.

When writing what you feel, it doesn't have to be "Right" or "Correct" or anything else. It just has to be your feelings. To this day (over 40 years later) I still remember one entry I made, it was the F word. Over and over and over I wrote it in big bold scribbled words till I filled five pages. After writing it I felt better. In fact, that was the start of my writing what I felt. Even to this day I will, "Journal" as they call it, what I'm feeling. There are times it helps. It helps me let go of those feelings an helps me forget them.

Depression is a part of life. Unfortunately as you grow you will discover that it never completely leaves. So you will have to learn how to manage it and cope with it. Until then, you have my sympathy. I'm sure you don't want that, but it's nice to know that others have successfully dealt with depression.

However, sometimes depression may be a result of other causes. Such causes can be chemical in nature, others can be post traumatic experiences. I won't go into detail about any of that, but if you can't manage your depression conventionally you may need to seek professional help. No, I'm not a Doctor. I AM a PHD in engineering. Just one more sign that you can get through this hard time and be successful in life.

By the way, my wife of nearly 37 years and I have a great relationship. Even though I was called all kinds of names when I was young, life can still turn out well. Just don't go jumping into something without thinking it through fully. Remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Things WILL get better. I promise.

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Thank you a lot. Suicide isn't an option for me because I will go to hell. I'm sorry but I believe there is a heaven and hell, good and evil. I guess when I get older I will be a little more wise that I am just smarter than everyone else. I have never been able to socialize with my peers, yet I am happy go lucky when I am with older people. Thanks for opening my eyes. I've got a life to live and I don't plan on wasting it.

Am I right about your relative age?

(I wonder who clicked Unhelpful??? Wasn't me!)
Anyway, PLEASE tell us more about your family. There are a lot of clues there that I for one want to hear about. I was like you in some ways and not others, and a lot hinged on an unloving mother.

You're not a bad person, just different. After reading your question I found that your grammer is perfect, which is unusual in our electronic age. Okay, so you're different. So am I. There are a multitude of people who don't appreciate me simply because I'm not just like them. You are experiencing the very same thing, so be cool with that. Other people don't have to appreciate your life for your life to be worthwhile.

I'll put it to you in simple terms: I'm weird, and that is what makes me special. People go to great lengths to ignore me...until death comes knocking at their door. Then I am solid gold to them. You have a specialty - a gift that no one else has seen yet. When you find your gift, and develope it, then others will see you as solid gold too. Trust me, you'll be fine.

Everyone has problems. U just have to work them out. Not always easy.

No one DOES care. The WORLD is . Trust me. I am now 38 and none of that has changed in my life.