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Home > Health & Wellness > Death & Dying   »   why my dad.

 
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Old Sep 10, 2009, 08:25 PM
iwillmissyou123
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why my dad.

so about 2 or 3 months ago i found out that my dad has colon cancer and they found it late and it is spread to his liver and now he only had til the end of 09 to live. it is really hard for me to deal with, especially with me just starting my first year of college. i dont know what to do!!!

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Old Sep 10, 2009, 09:23 PM   #2  
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Support him. Prepare. The bereavement process might go a little smoother. Talk about old times. Talk about his wishes. Make sure finances, will etc. are in order. Say goodbye. Something I was unable to do.

Liver cancer can become terminal very quickly. Colon and stomah cancer is not a good way to expire. Be aware of that.

My empathy is with you.
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Old Sep 10, 2009, 09:43 PM   #3  
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I'm am very sorry for what your family is going through.

I lost my brother to colon cancer and it was heart wrenching.It is an unforgiving disease and quite painful.

All you do can do is try to be there and make him as comfortable as possible.

Talk,spend as much quality time as you can together and try to ease his suffering.

Be sure to takes some breaks for yourself as well.Being at a sick bed all day can take a major emotional toll on you.

Talk to people who can help you to learn how to make him comfortable ,nurses,hospice his oncologist.

You have my sincerest sympathy.
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Old Sep 10, 2009, 11:59 PM   #4  
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Hi, iwillmissyou123!

I too, am very sorry for what you and your family are going through! I went through something similar with my dad, many years ago.

In many places, there are support groups for people who are going through or have a loved one who is going though a battle with cancer or has died from it.

My suggestion would be to seek out such a group. If you let us know where you're located, we might be able to find on for you to attend.

Thanks!
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Old Sep 13, 2009, 05:51 AM   #5  
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Dear, Iwillmissu123,
I too just joined, and my first post was about losing my fiance.(Her death though was sudden, and unexpected during the night after we went to bed. Boy, this is a tuff one. I can tell you that you will go through a lot of changes. I suggest focusing on school, and beware of those who prey on the vulnerable. Please don't lose track of how Proud your Dad must have felt with you going on to college. When You have those touh really missing you days try to think of all the reasons he is so special to you. Keep your focus the best u can, and if u have to tell yourself everyday how Proud you know he is of you to take on so much so soon.
I too just found out my Dad has Liver/Lung Cancer now that I am just starting to heal from Laura's death. I don't know maybe we can think of (you) that there was/is time for goodbyes, laughs, and saying those imprtant things before the end. I am reading suggestions made to you, and well Iam scared of how quick this to may happen for me and my family. My son is in his 2nd yr. of College and I give you a lot of credit for moving forward at a time like this. On the other hand now I am going to expierence loosing my Dad to Cancer. What made your Dad feel comfortable to talk about, and share.
I am sorry for the Q&A. I have never been through losing a parent either. I am sooo scared. I read that people said it happens fast. My Dad is having a rough time with keeping his cell count up for radiation/kemo, So he is having the cells? or something on the off weeks extracted from his bones to build up the cell count. It just started, and is painful. Hold on tight, and don't loose sight of your goals. I bet your Dad is beaming with Prde over you, and your choices. I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe I can also learn from you, and what u did to make him feel good. God Bless Yu, and your Family during this horrible time of Loss.
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Old Sep 17, 2009, 09:10 AM   #6  
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Yes that does stink - I lost my mom to Cancer and we were also told she had maybe 4 months to live. It was eaiser because we knew or atleast we knew her passing was coming. My Dad died unexpected and that really was horrible I never got to say my "good byes".
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Old Sep 17, 2009, 12:59 PM   #7  
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Hi again, iwillmissyou123!

How are you doing now?

Thanks!
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Old Sep 19, 2009, 06:40 PM   #8  
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Death is hard with no easy way to prepare for it. God has given you the chance to atleast take advantage of knowing. Use the time wisely. We all are not so lucky to prepare ourselves especially when death comes tragicly!!!!!!!! I wanna cry with you. cherish the moments!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old Sep 19, 2009, 07:10 PM   #9  
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I lost my father 9 years ago. He had beaten cancer, but had a massive heart attack 7 years later. I miss him and think of him daily.

Enjoy the time you have left with him. Let him know how he's enriched your life. Let him feel loved.

No one knows what GOD's plan is, or why HE takes some of us early in life. It's not up to us to question this, yet we do. That's human nature.

I hope you find some sort of bereavement counselor to help you cope with the impending loss.

May GOD give you peace, love, and understanding. And may HE take away your father's pain. My heart is with you.

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artlady agrees: Very beautiful and heartfelt,Thank-you !
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