I want to die
Asked Sep 6, 2007, 09:53 AM
I am a 24 year old male, Right from my teenage days I was really horny and I studied in a residential school, in which I had to study, live, play and do everything with my male friends only, so I did have many sexual activities with my schoolmates, so I had little interest in girls, but whenever I tried to impress a girl I miserably failed because of my ugly looks, by the way, I have to accept that I have a very ugly face (very big, dark and square face), I am very short and losing hair very fast. After I left school I joined college where I was good only in my academics, I had few good friends whom I lost due to my gay behavior with them, again no female friends everyone avoids me, everyone hates me, even my family does not care about me, they just assume everything is fine with me and don't care about me, they don't understand my feelings. I am alone in this world with so many people around me, no one to speak to my heart, no one to even tell my feelings. I never got a kiss or even a warm hug from anyone. I tried everything to forget that I am alone, books, alcohol, prostitute what not. Still I feel the same, I think there is no purpose in my living any more I want to die but I am really scared, I don't belong anywhere my life is a complete failure, I simply don't want to live for myself I want to love people who love me but no one loves me, I see all doors in my life closed, its dark everywhere where to go?