[davis03038]

Fathers rights

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My husband has a son through a previous marriage in which the mother has living custody
She has cereble paulsy and can barely take care of him
The house is a pig pen she can hardly cook for him any longer
She lets him run the house and because of her illness she has to sleep down stairs in a bed in the living room and lets him sleep with her
He actually has slept with her since the divorce
Which is a problem for us
When he comes over on the weekends he sits up all night crying because he can not sleep with us
I will not let him sleep with us and neither will his father-
Our son is eleven years old going on twelve
When she comes home from having operations he has to take care of his mother,like getting her meals laundry etc,
I realize she has a hard time because she is very sick
And wish no mother to lose their child but
My husband and I are convinced she can no longer take care of him
And have thought about trying to get custody of him
We are wondering what are chances are and what parental rights he has as a father
We have asked her to make him sleep in his own bed but she has told us she has a note from the doctor saying it is OK to sleep with her because he is so insecure and feels"his daddy may not love him" that's the reason for sleeping with her she says
I say that's a croc and he needs to sleep in his own bed
I guess what I'm wondering is what rights do fathers have and where should he go from here,
Thank's
Donna and Brian Davis

[Fr_Chuck]

First "what rights" not sure what you mean, you have the right to sue in court for custody, increased visitation, change in child support payments.

If the mother was given at the original divorce and custody hearings full custody of the child, at this time the father had no legal right or ability to make the child do anything other than what the mother says.

Him sleeping with her is unhealthy and I really doubt that any doctor really gave her a "note" why would she even get a "note"

Ok, what the child needs is mental health counseling and it is past due.
He has become the care giver and has been caused to become emotionaly dependent upon this women. The women is also now physcially dependent upon the child for her physcial care.

So you get an attorney, he does as much fact finding though court ordered questions, You get the son interviewed and seen by professional mental health people though court ordered investigation.

You then sue for custody of the child in court.

[fredg]

Hi, Davis,
The first answer you received says it all.
I second the "get a lawyer", and go from there.
I am not a Professional, and really can't guess at your chances of getting custody, but your lawyer will be able to advise you. Get one who is experienced in child custody cases. It does seem that you have good grounds to seek custody. I do wish you the best of luck.
PS; There isn't much you can do about the sleeping with his Mom, or anything else in the "custody" household.

[talaniman]

Have the adults sat down and talked about living arrangements so the child doesn't suffer from having an ill custodial parent? It seems to me as the mother would be glad if Dad kept his son a lot more especially after those hospital visits.If talking fails a lawyer can settle this in court,but I think it's a shame when adults can't get together and do what's best for the child:cool: