Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask

My mother is mean to my stepdad who is dying of cancer

Asked Apr 27, 2010, 01:42 PM — 11 Answers
My stepdad has cancer and is in the hospital. They want to send him home but my Mother does not want him to come home because she says she has to work. She is being very mean about this and acts like she wants him to die. What can we do?

11 Answers
Clough's Avatar
Clough Posts: 27,302, Reputation: 8524
Uber Member
 
#2

Apr 27, 2010, 01:52 PM
Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!
Helpful
ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,412, Reputation: 3154
Vision Expert
 
#3

Apr 27, 2010, 01:54 PM
Do you think she might not be being mean, she might just want him to have the best care that he can get. At home, he won't get that because she will be at work. Perhaps she doesn't have the funds to provide a caregiver. How old are you? What does stepdad think about staying in the hospital?
Helpful  (1)
dmhathig's Avatar
dmhathig Posts: 2, Reputation: 10
New Member
 
#4

Apr 27, 2010, 01:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough View Post
Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!
We are all in our 50's and we have offered to help and she doesn't want that at all. She said you take him home.
Helpful
ChihuahuaMomma's Avatar
ChihuahuaMomma Posts: 7,412, Reputation: 3154
Vision Expert
 
#5

Apr 27, 2010, 02:00 PM
I don't understand, she says to take him home but doesn't want help?
Helpful
Clough's Avatar
Clough Posts: 27,302, Reputation: 8524
Uber Member
 
#6

Apr 27, 2010, 02:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Clough
Hi, dmhathig!

I'm very sorry about your stepdad's condition and really know and feel what you're going through!

Are there any other relatives that could be involved in the care of him if he does go home?

Also, would you mind letting us know how old you are, please?

Thanks!
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmhathig View Post
We are all in our 50's and we have offered to help and she doesn't want that at all. She said you take him home.
Would you and others be able to take him home as well as care for him?

Also, is your stepdad able to have a say in all of this?

Thanks!
Helpful
Devorameira's Avatar
Devorameira Posts: 2,462, Reputation: 4960
Ultra Member
 
#7

Apr 27, 2010, 02:24 PM
Is your stepfather terminal or just in the process of recovering from cancer surgery?

If he's being sent home to die, perhaps your mom just feels overwhelmed and doesn't think she can face losing him.

Sometimes people do get angry at a person for dying and leaving them alone.
Helpful
dontknownuthin's Avatar
dontknownuthin Posts: 2,347, Reputation: 2994
Ultra Member
 
#8

Apr 29, 2010, 05:36 PM
How has their relationship been before his illness? I had a friend who fought feeling this way himself when his father was dying because his dad had mistreated him all his life. My friend felt that care-taking was a very intimate thing that required a level of mutual caring and respect, and he didn't feel either of these things for his father, nor ever from his father.

Another possibility is that your mother feels it's too much responsibility and she is not prepared to handle it. Perhaps you or a sibling should bring him home with you.

A third potential is that your mother has problems of her own, either medical or psychological. If she's elderly, consider that perhaps her medical needs are greater than you might be aware.
Helpful
marma's Avatar
marma Posts: 23, Reputation: 9
New Member
 
#9

Jun 26, 2010, 03:09 AM
There is no reason to feel bad in here , I know the feeling of your mother she is just worried ,

Well my father was dying in the hospital, and we were all around him, but '" subhana allla"' we never felt worried so did he because we all had great faith in god '' alla '' ..

When he passed , it was all calm, we all felt sad for the big loss, but we know he is still alive with god '' alla'' so we still pray that he is in a better place inshala .
Never lose faith .

If you need help: >Removed<
Helpful
JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,450, Reputation: 23573
Uber Member
 
#10

Jun 29, 2010, 07:14 AM
You are spamming the board and posting your email address - PLEASE STOP.

I am suggesting that your account be suspended if you cannot follow the rules.
Helpful

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.

Remove Text Formatting

Undo
Redo
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Bold
Italic
Underline
Align Left
Align Center
Align Right
Ordered List
Unordered List
Decrease Indent
Increase Indent
Insert Email Link
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
Wrap [CODE] tags around selected text
Wrap [HTML] tags around selected text
Wrap [PHP] tags around selected text
Wrap [YOUTUBE] tags around selected text
Notification Type:



Check out some similar questions!

Why is my boyfriend's dying mother coming between us [ 9 Answers ]

My boyfriend's mother and him were never close. She left him, his father, and his 2 siblings and married his dad's brother and moved away, splitting the family in half. She is now back dying of liver cirrhosis and her and the "uncle"/"step-dad" are in need of help. It is so hard to deal with my...

Mother who gets cancer [ 2 Answers ]

There is a film that I watched ages ago I think that it could have been on the hallmark channel, but it might not have been. It was about a mother who had a teenage daughter, the mother got divorced and the daughter lived with her father, then the mother discovered a lump in her breast in the...

Just found out my mother has breast cancer [ 1 Answers ]

Hello,my mother just told me that she has breast cancer. She said that they caught it very early.I am very upset;but I didn't let my mother see me cry. I know that there are a lot of cancer survivers. I just want to learn everything that I can about breast cancer. Please keep my mother in prayer...

Boyfriend's Mother is Dying of Cancer [ 3 Answers ]

I was just looking for some advice. My boyfriend of 2 years mother was diagnosed with cancer last month. She has had several surgeries this month, but and things have not been looking good. We were told today that the doctor said they will make her comfortable, but that she will not recover from...

Drinking with stepdad [ 46 Answers ]

I am 16 and my mom is going out of town this weekend. My stepdad told me that if I wanted, he would get beer and I could see what it is like to drink alcohol. He says it's better to experiment in a safe environment instead of at a party or something where someone could take advantage of me when...


View more Death & Dying questions Search