I lost my mother three days ago,although I am 40 years of old but cant cope with my mother lose ,I found her dead sitting in her chair after I returned from shopping ,so she was alone when died and this really scares me ,I feel that I never can deal with her absence,Im afraid to close my eyes and sleep because I might see my mother complaining from dying alone I have feelings of sadness and depression and I really need help.
Shakeh

Fr_Chuck

Any time we lose someone we love we have a process of grieving that has to be gone though.

Death is a part of life, we all are born and we all will die at some point.
Since she was sitting, it shows she went peacefully and most likely you would have merley though she had fallen asleep if you have been there, and would then try to find some other way to blame yourself, (needed to be in the room, needed to be this or that)

And why would it scare you, a person can not be attached to another 100 percent of the time, we each have duties, jobs, shopping, car repair and the such that has to be done. That is merley part of life.

You miss her company and this is normal. If after a couple of weeks you are still having such serious issues, then you need to get professional help to follow though with the process of grieving.

RickJ

I hope you have family and friends near you who are trying to be with you now. You need the company of friends and those that love you. Do not turn it down if they are offering.

I with true Peace for you Shakeh.

fredg

HI,
I am sorry to read about your Mom dying.
As other answers have said, please talk with others, face-to-face about it.
Talking in person always helps. I went through this many years ago with my own parents; about a year apart.
We cannot determine how we will die (unless of course, it's suicide). We do not know if others will be around, if we will be alone, or what the circumstances will be; unless it's in a hospital, and nothing can be done, knowing the end is near.
You didn't know this would be happening, so there is no need for you to be stressed out about it.
Can you talk with a Minister, Priest, Rabbi, or anyone about it?
You really do need to talk with others, and come to know there was nothing you probably could have done, or known about.

niderbider@yahoo.com

hey, i know how you feel. i really do. im 16, but i lost my mom about a year ago, and my dad about 4 years ago. my dad was alone when he died too. i blamed myself even though he died of cancer, b/c the one night in really about 6 months, i actually went to sleep, he died.and i felt so bad for leaving him all by himself to go, and for about 8 months i couldn't sleep well, b/c i had dreams where he was calling for me to help him and i could never reach him or if i did my grip would slip and he would fall.but you can't blame youself. it will take some time to deal with no matter what your age. the only thing you can do is talk to someone who can sympathise with you. and just know that your mom is so much better off. she's not hurting and she's happy, even though i know she misses you, and you miss her, but one day the two of you, and anybody else you miss will all be together again, and there will be no more saddness, or pain and it will last forever. i'd love to talk to you if you just need someone 2 listen to you.

Mrspeel

Dear Shakeh

I really do feel for you at this very sad time. I lost my mum last June, and It affected me very badly. When you are alone, you may find it helpful to talk to your mum, either aloud or in your head. Tell her how you love her and miss her, and how you wished you could have been there when she passed.

Know that she understands this.

My mum died in the hospital at 5am. I had just left her at 4am.

Hypatia

Shakeh

Thanks a lot for all af this wonderful answers,it is realy good to know that the people hearts are with you .Thanks again...

jennapbt

I understand what your going through although noones feelings are truely alike. Everyone deals with death differently. I lost my best friend, my life, my all, my mother last year myself. It tore my world apart being only 20 at the time. I went through the same thing you did with the thought of having a dream. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw her taking that last breath. I had dreams about her every time I slept which would wake me up sobbing, I still have dreams about her, but now I kind of enjoy them I guess it's my way of thinking she's still here with me. She will always be in your heart her memory will never die in your mind. The best thing I found with coping was talking about it like someone mentioned. Just remember to take your time in the healing process there are so many stages and find whatever is most comfortable for YOU not what somone else thinks you should be feeling. I once thought that time healed all wounds, but this is a wound that will never heal for me. Remember that she is still there with you, talk to her tell her you love her she will listen. I know I felt so many emotions; anger, frustration, sadness, guilt, happiness, etc. Just take your time in the healing but I do know beating yourself up over it isn't the best just know your mother wouldnt want you to do that to yourself. Things will be ok, if you need anyone to talk to your more than welcome to contact me.

love and be loved

I am only 13 I lost my father two weeks befor my 11th birthday
I think we all always blame our selves inside I know I do
there is nothing we can do
maby sometimes it relly was parshly our falt but it was an acsident and we could not help it in your case I do not think it was at all you falt so never blame your self it was not in my case ether but I can't help but blame myself some times your mother lived a long life and every one must go somtimes we just must be perpared for it and understand that we all new it was going to happen eventualy we just did not want to admit it to our selves