Upon reading the some of the posts for this topic I cant help but feel my question is trivial, but for the hope of finding peace in my soul I feel compelled to ask anyway.

I have just learned of the death of my first true love. Unknown to me she died at the age of 44 just about a year ago this month 8-23-06.

We were not husband & wife - circumstances had separated us many many years ago and we both embarked on happy lives with other partners. Long ago we stopped having the 'once in a few years telephone conversations' but she's never been far from my thoughts. Her family and mine were unaware that we shared those brief moments on the phone so I never received a call with the news.

Quite out of the blue I happened to read the one year anniversary obituaries and learned of her death - it felt as if I were kicked in the stomach. Other than the loss of a Grandparent I have not had to deal with death. I feel....so empty. I really have no one to talk to about this, so I guess speaking of this here is a way for me to cope. But I would appreciate any advise anyone feels like giving.

pasiria

My heart goes out for you. I got teary eyed when I read your post.
I can imagine how you feel. Everyone looses someone sooner or later.
You lived great moments with her. Be grateful you saw her smile.
She remains with you forever. Don’t forget to pray for her soul.
You meant a lot for her--and that---no one may take away. Her family
will live her memory and I’m sure they will love to hear from you.
Give them a call and tell them how much she loved them. My deepest
sympathy.

ordinaryguy

A kick in the stomach is exactly what it feels like. It's especially hard when the depth of your connection is not known to others so they have no idea what you're going through, and you can't really tell them. I am so sorry. We can help a little bit here, but I would also encourage you find somebody to talk to about it who doesn't know your family, maybe a counselor or a pastor or priest in a different community than where you live. And pace yourself. Don't expect it to be over in a month or two. It will take at least a year to get back to something like normal, probably. For what it's worth, you have my sympathy and support.