My head feels heavy, filled with emotion. I can't stand to feel this way anymore.
The blood pulsating around my body, fast with fury. I'd crouched on the floor, my hands covering my head. I'm like a cocoon trying to protect myself before the storm.
The storm that I will soon be within me..

When I get to the point of sadness, anger and dare I say Madness

I just want to break out, I stop protecting my head.
Instead I throw my own fists down hard onto my head and face. I punch and slap my face and if there's a wall behind me, I'd smack my head hard back against it.
For a split second everything is numb and then the pain comes.
And that pain is so so good, it blocks out my emotional pain.

I used to get home from work and go straight into the shower, when I'd put the water so it was really hot. And I'd sit down in the bottom of the shower, and run razor blades up and across my wrists and quietly cry....

Why does doing this relax me? Why do I feel comfortable and 'safe' when I do that. Why does it put me at peace ?

yaleoxford2nd

1. cause its blocking out your emotional sences that you don't want to feel.
2. You feel comfortable because you are handling your emotions the way you do and the way you know how too, which is good (I use do it too!!)
It feels sate because your not thinking about suicde and other things that are bad for you and your well-being.
3. It puts you at peace because you think that the pain you cause yourself physically over-powers the pain you have emotionally, therefore you think that your emotional hurt is over untill it hits again then you do it again.
*Your mind is set on the physical pain more than ever, but also more than your emotional pain and you think that it helps and it DOES because REMEMBER THAT ITS YOUR WAY HOW YOU DEAL WITH YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALTH.
Rabecca

firmbeliever

http://www.thesite.org/healthandwell...fharmlinkspage
http://www.thehelpline.net/selfinjury.html
http://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/selfinjury.php
http://www.suicidehelpline.org.au/?i...gthroughthehol
http://self-injury.net/resources/hotlines/
http://www.reachout.com.au/default.asp?ti=281

I cannot say why you are self inflicting harm, but I do know that you need help.
Even if your current wish is just to numb yourself with pain, who knows when your thoughts will cross the line to suicide or even worse when the injuries will bring you death...
Seek help,talk to someone,hopefully a professional.

quiero_matarme

Oh my God. I'm so sorry about you. Well I have a lot of problems too but I haven't thought of hurting myself to feel better. I thought of suicide but ppl in here persuaded me not to do that! Besides, hurting myself would cause more problems than I already have. Your head may be hurt badly, you shouldn't do this. Please get some help from the websites above. Talking in here really helped me, why don't you try to communicate with people to calm yourself?