| complete u turn in personality . im not a pill popper, im not suicidal, im not a negative person ..
but lately ive turned into .. someone who inside, myself .. i think im going crazy and that sad part is .. im aware of this .. ive had nervous break downs due to stress even though i can see that other people have more and worse problems than i do .. but thats when i dont care because i dont live their lives .. i live mine so mine our the only ones i can care or do anything about ..
on 9/9/07 i took 4 and 4 sudafed i didnt know how to feel after the effects kicked in. but for some reason i liked it .. i liked feeling .. like theres no need to give a care in the world about anything .. i stopped drinking alcohol and and smoking weed, theres no point to any of those ..
i dont become addicted to anything i must have to strongest case of will power known to man .. im well aware of everything that i do..
but theres and end to everything .. and my end is not knowing what to do next .. i dont even really know what im asking for .. i hate almost everyone stuffed in my life .. i trust no one .. not even myself .. believe nothing .. and i dont believe in god or religion or .. pretty much anything .. i use to love trance and screamo type music .. bands suck as from first to last and circa survive and saosin .. but now i cant stop listening to coldplay, lifehoue, audioslave, or joseph aurthur .. but the songs make me fee good .. in a sad way ..
im an actor, and not in a metephorical sense .. in a literal one .. i do movies and commercials .. some of you who know who i am if you seen me .. my point being .. i love the feel of a movie, like my life is a movie .. having those perfect times with the perfect song in the background .. lately ive loved the way its been in an emotional way .. whats wrong with me .. why have i become this way ..
please help me .. |