How does one come to terms with dying.
How does one get over the fear of the unknown and find peace?

AKaeTrue

Thankyou everyone - no one (Dr. & Counselor) had any good advise for me.
(I believe I'll start reading books about the afterlife - thankx bizygurl)
And thanks to all who took the time to share a little here.

DJ 'H'

I have asked myself this question many times, and even though I still fear death, because heaven knows I am young and would not want to be parted from my loved ones etc - its all about accepting it. We have to accept that death is a part of life and hope that we live for as long as we can. Thats why it is important to do as much as you can, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you as best and much you can and just appreciate everything rather than take it for granted.

Noone likes death and fears the unknown, and even though we don't have a clear understanding as to why, we just have to accept it!!

Krs

It is surely very difficult to accept that this life we live in is just a passage, but infortuntaley we have no control at all over this life. When its our turn we cant really change that. Ive experiences seeing a very close loved one getting terminally ill and as the days went by we knew he was slowly dying. Its all about acceptance, accepting that this is life. So until we are here in this passage make the most of what we can and show loved ones how much we really love them.

DJ 'H'

What you are experiencing is panic attacks. I suffer with them and they are not nice and not easy to control. Its the power of the mind. You need to keep calm when you feel one coming on. The best thing to do is to get someone to talk to you about anything - engage you in conversation- you then forget about whats was happening and carry on like normal. I do this even when on my own, I just pick up the phone and call someone - it works a treat!!

Panic attacks are bought on by stress and regulated by your nerves. If it gets out of control it leads to hyperventilation. Your breatheing sppeds up and then the balance of your Oxygen in take against the output of Carbon Dioxide become imbalanced and your brain is then filled with too much oxygen. You need to slow down your breathing and level both your oxygen & carbon dioxide out again. Breathing into a paper bag does this or cupping your hands around your mouth is also effective. Once you have panic attacks you are never free of them. You just have to learn to control them and when you feel them coming on you have to prevent them from getting any further.

Signs that they may be coming on include:
Pains in you neck or chest area or stomach
Pulpitations to the heart (where it skips a beat)
Feeling sick

Your mind will then start to make you believe you have something wrong with you, then you will feel anxious that something is going to happen to you, then panic because you fear you may dies and noone will find you. That when the breathing gets out of control and hyperventilation kicks in.

After a really bad Panic Attack you will be left feeling really weak and you legs may even feel like Jelly nd you may even experience Pins and Needles around your mouth area, in you finger tips and toes.

I had them so bad when I was a teenage that I could not be on my own. I had 2months off of college due to them - but I learnt to control them and when they show themselves these days I know exactly what to do and how to prevent them.

you just have to train your mind!! and know you are in perfect health and there is nothing wrong with you.

AKaeTrue

Thankyou DJ'H'
I always feel like I can't breath in enough oxygen. I feel like I'm taking huge breaths - all my lungs will take - but not getting enough oxygen. Is this what happens during hyperventilation?
You gave valuable info.
I do try to redirect my attention, but I guess I have little power over my mind. Lately, I'll have a panic attack over any stressful situation - they're getting worse.
thanks again,
Kae

RichardEve

I sympathise very deeply with your situation.
Death is funny like that, you always know that you are going to die, but no matter how much you try to process that fact, it can still come to you as a terrible shock.
I think for a lot of people it depends on what mood they are in and how much they worry about quality of life.
There is no quick answer to this, the deepest of human preoccupations, but consider this;
Every time you go to sleep, before you start to dream, you experience a total loss of consciousness, which is exactly what happens in death.
Ask yourself, how do you recall sleep? as a stressful experience? as an anxious experience? Of course you remember nothing, since you lost control of your faculties.
...
The fear of death is closely linked to the fear of a loss of control. If we can learn to be less anxious about control in our lives, then perhaps we may be closer to achieving a state of grace before our deaths.
My best wishes for you, and how brave of you to ask this very important question in a public forum!