My dad just passed away and I seem to be going down hill.I dont care about anything.I havent missed a day of church in the last 10 years until now.Im not mad at god or any thing like that infact i dont belive id make it without him. I cant belife this has happeded
The last 10 months he lived with me and I took care of him and watched heiplessy as he took his last breath. Iwish I COULD FORGET ALL THE PAIN. What can I do to make it stop?

valinors_sorrow

You might want to seek the help of someone from your church who can guide you through the grief process. When we experiemce loss as close up and siginifcant as you did, sometimes it becomes overwhelming. There is a path and process to grieving and with a little concrete help from someone who knows you and knows grief, you could be reunited with that path instead of feeling like you are floating in outer space.

I can see even from here that the "caretaker" in you doesn't know what to do next, or how to take care of you only because you've been so focussed (and rightly so) on your dad. It was a very generous and loving thing you did taking such care of him in his last days. If no one else has said thank you for that, I will simply from the place that I wasn't able to do that for my father although I wish I could have (long story there). My dad died a few months ago. Thank you for the loving care you provided yours and my condolences for your significant loss.

walt17

I agree. The hardest part of coping with a loss is replacing the void that is created in your life. But it is something that must be done. Or the emotional sorrow will turn into physical afflictions.

michaa

Hey man life is life, life is hard, your not here for yourself you are here for others...my main goal in this life is to live for others and to help whoever I can...this life is not supposed to be comfortable, it hurts but you must keep pushing through it and never give up...others are worse off than you are you need to remember that. I support you man and will be praying for you, stay on the up and up...and if you feel pain never show it always stay strong cause it will boost those around you.

Fr_Chuck

I was just the opposite, it has been a year now, but I was with my dad as he passed, watched as each breath got slower and slower, and less and less, untill there was no breath at all.

He had lived a good and full life, he was ready to go and meet God.
For me it was a special time that I shared with him, a time when I knew he had left this earth and moved on to where we all want to me.

You mentioned church, so I will assume you are a christian of some sort. If that is true you beleive we are all here on earth as a stanger, this is not our home, Heaven is our home and we are on this earth to live the best life we can, and then when called ( but not before) we are to go on to our real home.

for those that are saved and know God, death is not a bad thing, it is just part of life.

redneckchick

just remember that your dad may be gone does mean he isnt around..... your dad is with you all the time watching over you.... he is in your heart and mind as long as you never forget him he will never leave you...... keep him alive in your heart talk to him like you talk to GOD........

Jam43

Give yourself time to grieve. The pain becomes easier over time. Try to keep active and talk about the good things your father has done; it will keep his memory alive. Remember to take it one day at a time, and some day you will walk out of the pain into happy memories.

Jesushelper76

You need that time to grieve. Remember that God will always lift you up. God is your true father and he has blessed you with a good family. God would want you to know that your earth father is taken care of and his in the arms of the creator. The love that you both share will always be there before, now and forever.

My prayers are with you and your family at this time.

Joe

moomin007

My heartfelt sorrow to you Julie,
At our church we sing a chorus:
'When I talk with Jesus
Bring to him my care,
With his own sweet comfort
Jesus answers prayer'

He is with you. Please speak with some one (in your church or outside). It is difficult road that you have to travel now. You are not alone. Gain strength from your family, friends. Cry when you need to. My father passed away 17yrs ago when I was 20, I still cry and always will but the pain WILL get easier to bear.
I hope you find the comfort & support you need.
God Bless
moomin

lacuran8626

I don't think there's really a silver lining in the cloud of losing someone you love and identify with as closely as a parent. I cannot imagine your loss and offer my condolences. Perhaps you can find some peace, when you think of how he suffered, to try to focus on a particularly happy memory you have of him from a better time? And, when you think of his death, think of it as an end of his suffering and a release of his spirit from a body that did not serve him any more, and caused him pain.

I think what will likely take you the longest to come to live with is his absence from your life, and you just need to give yourself some time. Time doesn't heal, but our lives are like streams - where there is a low spot, something will naturally flow along eventually to fill it. It happens subtly and we don't notice it at first.

It sounds like for now you are very depressed, and it might take some medication to flip that switch and help you recover. Consider talking to your doctor. Caretaking and loss are two huge stressors, and it's ok to get some help getting through this time.