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hello everyone!! sorry it's been soo long since my last post. Since the alot of things have changed concerning the relationships in my life.
I have a new boyfriend and i could use an opinion on what i believe is love.
We have been together for a short time and have been through so much already. 1st, i became pregnant while on birth control. i decided along with him to have an abortion. He was and still is very supportive with my decision, probably because i included him in the decision making process. The problem with that tidbit is that he once believed that the baby i carried was not his. Yet, we remain together.
2nd, very shortly after the abortion, my ex calls to say that he has chlamydia. Just when like was at its worst, this happens. So, naturally i tell him with obvious hesitation. He was angry, upset, but understanding once again. We even discuss having sex with each other again; after this is cleared up. Lastly, what i want to know is: Does this man love me? Is this why he has put up with so much in such a short period of time? What would you suggest i do in order to find out about his true feelings?...or should I lv it be until he wants to express hisself to me considering our already turbulent history?
What would you suggest i do in order to find out about his true feelings?...or should I lv it be until he wants to express hisself to me considering our already turbulent history?
If you are intimate sexually,you should also be intimate emotionally.
You should be able to discuss your feelings and concerns without worry.
Communication is key to a healthy relationship.Talk to him and ask him where he believes your relationship is going.
You have a right to know where you stand and guessing what someone is thinking and feeling is an exercise in futility. The potential for guessing wrong is too high.Talk to him.
Just because you are having sex does not necessarily mean that you are in love or that he loves you. sex is one small part of love and a relationship and sometimes sex gets in the way of what love really is.
I would say just tell him how much you appreciate his sticking by you through all the problems and it shows how much he really must care.
I would say he probably does care a lot.
So...since the last time i posted..i'm still seeing the same guy. i love this man but there's just one problem. I have yet to meet his parents!! AHH! i'm so frustrated!
I asked him why and he says, he has never brought any of his gf's home to meet them and in most cases his parents already knew the family of the women he dated since they've lived in the same area of our city.
We stayed together through an abortion and an STD that my soon-to-be ex-hubby gave me. So i don't understand why this is such a big damn deal!?
As recent as last nite, we were talking on the phone and i brought up this situation. He countered my anger over it with a question regarding my whereabouts on Memorial day (which i spent w family and another man, we were NOT together, period). he said " you wanna meet my mother but you can't tell me the truth and remember what you told me?" I'm like, ? What does that have to do with NOW? We were not together at the time (once again) and i honestly don't feel as if that is any of his business unless i decided to make it so... you know?
He brings up a point that maybe he's not the right guy for me and he doesn't make me happy. i;ve never brought i'm not going as far to say we're breaking up that's not what i want anyway.
I even went as far as asking, " why did you want to be exclusive in the 1st place?" He answered because he didn't want me to sleep with anyone else....WTH? So I'm an on-going booty call? i'm i crazy or does that mean "yes"??? He says he won't sleep w me to show that that's not all he's with me for, but he turns around and says maybe he's not right for me??? I'm confused and scared mostly bc I love this man and he says the same. I welcome any advice that you'd be willing to give. I appreciate you taking the time to read this long question...lol.
when a man or woman wants in introduce a girlfriend/boyfriend to the parents,its a big deal.
mostly its means that this relationship is serious and long term..
im not saying this is not the case with your boyfriend,but, with so much that has already happened perhaps he is being cautious.
from your post i would agree that he cares for you,maybe its time to take some pressure off the relationship and just enjoy being with each other without the drama.
from your post i would agree that he cares for you,maybe its time to take some pressure off the relationship and just enjoy being with each other without the drama.
thx for your opinion. i think i'm gonna back off a bit. its hard for me to do so but my heart is cracking and i'm tryna save it from being broken. i just don't know what else to do...i'm so sock over it i can't even take his calls or respond to his txt today bc i don't really be a broken record when i talk to him. i'm jus takin a break from him for tonite and i plan on doing our usual wkend routine...dinner, movie, and hotel...not in that order but since i'm separated (waiting for my divorce to be final) and he lives at home as well...that's how we spend "alone" time together. i'm just confused......after being in an abusive relationship i'm quite sensitive and i admit i can overreact. i'm also not gonna sit arounf while my bf plays w my emotion.....thx again...what u said helps a lil
It may be hard, but I think that's the best thing to do for now.
With the relationship the way it is now, and you not having a divorce, he may see that as a negative when he introduces you to his family. And, you are really just exclusively dating right now; ease up a bit and think positive.
Maybe he thinks his parents would not appreciate him dating a soon to be divorcée.
Some people have some very odd prejudices.
Perhaps they know about the STD and the abortion and have deemed you as someone not good enough to have a relationship with their son.
Who knows how much they know?
Granted,it is unfair to judge you before they meet you but people do it all the time.Rumors can be very poisonous.
There is always the thought that he may not want to introduce you because you and he have had a pretty shaky relationship thus far and maybe he does not see you together long term.
thx for ur opinion...he's met my mother, brother and son. my parents are divorced so he has yet to meet my father. he doesn't even come to family functions i've invited him to...and i've haven't been invited to any of his either...but maybe ur right...i should slow down....
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