I haven't been dating very much - my last boyfriend was my first boyfriend and I haven't dated anyone since (eight years ago). I've been trying internet dating but I keep getting stood up on the second dates. I am a funny, intelligent, talented, if inexperienced 33 old women. What am I doing wrong? Why aren't guys interested?
I haven't been dating very much - my last boyfriend was my first boyfriend and I haven't dated anyone since (eight years ago). I've been trying internet dating but I keep getting stood up on the second dates. I am a funny, intelligent, talented, if inexperienced 33 old women. What am I doing wrong? Why aren't guys interested?
There's a difference between not wanting to explore a relationship any further and standing someone up. You've only seen jerks so far who can't get on the phone and say "I have to cancel." The very rare person will tell you the rest of the truth: why. Don't hold your breath for him.
But you can find out why. If you discover a behavior that you can do something about, changing it will put power in your hands. If it's an intrinsic characteristic that you don't intend to change, you still have the power to do what you want with it.
Maybe it's the type of guys that you've been going out on dates with. Maybe they're not a good match. Maybe you should look for different types of guys to go on dates with.
If you've only dated men from internet dating sites in the last 8 years, that might be your problem right there.
That's sort of like dating only men you meet in bars.
Iffy at best, people don't exactly put their honesty out there when describing themselves on dating sites.
What do you do in your spare time. Do you have any interests or do any volunteer work? What about friends that can set you up with someone they know. Do you have a dog you can walk at the local dog park? Spend any time at the local internet cafes?
You sound like maybe it's time to invest some time in yourself, and get out there. Looking for a relationship may be more successful outside the house, and off the computer.
Iwish has a very good point there, you need to meet different types of guys, in different types of places.
hey,i was just wondering if your friends and family,work mates,knew you were dating..the idea being that they may know someone you might be interested in,and because they know you,they would be able to vet the guys they think might interest you..
if your happy and enjoying your life on your own,thats going to attract a man..
what man does not want a happy well adjusted woman.
if you want to stay on a dating site,take another look at your profile,also read others..most you will find say the same thing,change your profile,stand out from the herd!
I think for one guys (and girls) build an image of the person on the internet. Then when they meet the person is nothing like what they made up in their fantasy.
Also a lot of guys are jerks and many on the internet are looking for girls they know will jump into bed on the first date or shortly after the first date.
Then they want to sound like Mr. Nice guy so they say they will see you again but have no intention of doing so.
In my experience most people are not a reliable judge of their own attributes. That is not intended as a put down of you as an individual. It is an acknowledgment that bias prevents subjectivity in most people.
So step one, find a friend or coworker who you really, really trust. Then ask them what you asked us. They know you and therefore will be able to give you a better answer. Just make sure they know you want the truth. In my own life experience I have learned that the surest way to learn about myself is to ask someone who knows me, but has no reason to pamper me.
Step two, look for prospective dates someplace other than the internet. As others have said, finding a date on the internet is iffy at best. And risky. You don't know what the other person is seeking. It may not be what you are prepared to give.
I want you to answer a question. Not here, but too yourself, I don't need to know your answer. I want you to see it. I believe in respect.
When you arrange a date or go out does it usually end with sex?
If so, Maybe this could be part of your answer.
In todays world no matter how much you may think you know somebody , don't sleep with them on the first date. Build it up.
Through out a series of encounters. This also cuts the risks of STDs as well. Shows even to the man of your future you have respect for your self. He will look at you the better for it . Gives you time to do some investigating of your own. ( him ) Men lie and by now I think you of all people have figured this one out.
Learn to refrain , Remember Rome was not built in a day, but many countries were destroyed in one.
... What am I doing wrong? Why aren't guys interested?
So, you've gotten some suggestions. It would be good for you to respond when you can.
I think that the key question is how do you get someone to honestly and insightfully tell you how you present yourself in these social settings? How you look, act, listen, speak, seem to think, respond, and flirt. Is there someone who will do that? With these questions answered, you can decide what you are willing to change and what you are not.
Meanwhile, take the advice given here, and stay away from jerks.
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