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    Micuka's Avatar
    Micuka Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Nov 3, 2007, 02:55 PM
    Why did no one asked me out before?
    Dear Everyone,

    I'm 20 years old, I'll be 21 in March. I have a problem. I never went on a single date before. Why? I'm just asking because maybe you can help me, is there something wrong with me? I would go with anyone, I have love for all. I can't reject anyone because that would hurt me inside too. I'm 5"6 1/2 in height, I'm normal in weight, in fact my friends say I'm skinny (which, well my Body Mass Index is almost categorized as underweight, it's 19. Something) and I dress really nice and stylish. I have people commenting on how I dress, my hair so many times. I don't mean to brag, I just want to tell you all to describe what's up and still nothing. Once I was in the lady's room and a woman said wow, you're beautiful. Yesterday a little baby girl (23 months old) thought I was Arielle from the Little Mermaid. I don't have red hair, it's blondish brown and blue eyes. I wear make up too. I do anything and everything to look nice because then I feel good about myself. I go to all my classes in my university, I go to Church, I go to Institute (religion classes outside of school, like Bible classes) and I talk with guys maybe rarely, but I never got asked out. Do you know what's the matter?
    Please help.

    Thank you.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:31 PM
    Now that we know what you look like, how do you act when you are with other people?
    1. girls your age
    2. boys your age
    3. children younger than you
    4. adults
    5. mixed ages together
    katringette22's Avatar
    katringette22 Posts: 57, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:35 PM
    It sucks I'm only 16 but eveveryone else has a boyfriend and I've never had
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
    Expert
     
    #4

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:40 PM
    Hun, it's not about looks. That is very superficial and will turn many men away. The right man won't care if you're 5'6 or 2"6. The right man won't care if your BMI is 19 or 29.

    It's about personality, not beauty.

    So, with that said, what kind of person are you? Where do you go to meet men? What do you talk about when you meet them?

    Are you shy or outgoing?

    Looks aren't everything, and with time, they do fade.
    Micuka's Avatar
    Micuka Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:46 PM
    I guess I'm shy. But I talk about interesting things and they are the leaders of the conversation.
    Micuka's Avatar
    Micuka Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:48 PM
    To a previous poster, I treat everyone with respect and love. I am nice to everyone. I just don't understand why guys don't want to get to know me.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Nov 3, 2007, 03:57 PM
    I don't mean to sound harsh, but when you posted here it was all about your looks and how beautiful you are... Could that come across to some guys? They don't like to be around women who are beautiful, know it, and flaunt it.

    I know I sounded harsh, but your question here about not getting any dates, you flaunted how beautiful you are. As we said, looks are not everything.

    It's all about personality, honesty, being a genuinely nice person, fun to be around, spontaneous.
    Micuka's Avatar
    Micuka Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Nov 3, 2007, 04:20 PM
    I am honest, a genuine person and friends tell me that all the time. And I am fun to be around with, yes. It's just that still no one has asked me out and I don't know why. I have a friend who refers to me as his gem of a friend. Because I'm caring, honest, loving, an angel. I can quote him even. Still, I never got asked out. The guys don't even get to know the girls. I have guy friends tell me that they are scared of rejections.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #9

    Nov 3, 2007, 05:17 PM
    The guys may be scared of rejection from you because you are so beautiful and make sure everyone realizes the beauty. Then guys think, "How could anyone so beautiful date or fall in love with ordinary me????"

    If you are truly so honest, genuine, fun, a gem, caring, loving, an angel, your calendar should be full of dates.

    Ask some of these guys why they don't ask you out. If they say because of rejection, ask them why they feel that way.
    Micuka's Avatar
    Micuka Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #10

    Nov 3, 2007, 05:52 PM
    I don't make it known to anyone. I just look my best all the time as we are instructed to do. I don't brag about myself, why does everyone think that? I don't understand why guys don't ask me out even if they say nice things about me.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #11

    Nov 3, 2007, 05:59 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Micuka
    I don't make it known to anyone. I just look my best all the time as we are instructed to do. I don't brag about myself, why does everyone think that? I don't understand why guys don't ask me out even if they say nice things about me.
    Then all the more reason to ask a good friend who is male who will be honest with you. Ask him what about you turns off guys who might otherwise ask you for a date.

    And you do know that turning the conversation onto the other person by asking open-ended questions ("why" and "how") and looking interested and having friendly body language will certainly cause guys to realize that you are a wonderful person.
    Stringer's Avatar
    Stringer Posts: 3,733, Reputation: 770
    Business Expert
     
    #12

    Nov 4, 2007, 04:02 AM
    Starting the conversation, letting him talk, keep asking him questions. Men love to talk about themselves (unfortunate truth), if you let them and act very interested they automatically feel that you are interesting and you start to build a bond. Take it from there, and by the way,who says you can't ask them out? If the conditions are right, the two of you are getting along, you've found some common interests, simply maybe suggest; "maybe we should try that sometime?" "would you like to go to dinner there with me?"... Take the initiative...
    Stringer
    Mandmo's Avatar
    Mandmo Posts: 40, Reputation: 4
    Junior Member
     
    #13

    Nov 6, 2007, 05:09 PM
    I have the same problem hun. Everyone always asks me if I have a boyfriend and I always say no! I don'y understand either! Ahhh... it gets really annoying and eats away at me inside. And I don't think that you are bragging about yourself. Don't listen to those other comments. First impressions do matter to guys, but after the attraction, the personality id what shines through and truly makes the connection. A few guys have asked me out but I told them that we were just friend because I didn't feel the same way back. Don't just say yes to any random guy that may ask you out, make sure that you feel the same way back as well. Don't worry, you and I are a couple of barbies who hasn't found their ken! :-) It is really frustrating I know, but all those guys who are too shy to ask us out aren't worth it. One day you'll find your prince charming and live happily ever after. And even if you are 21, there is no age limit for dating! You go girl. If you got it... flaunt it! Hehe be true to yourself! You go Girl!
    jessa1200's Avatar
    jessa1200 Posts: 13, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #14

    Nov 6, 2007, 09:46 PM
    Have you ever thought of asking a guy out yourself? Coming from your first post and the looks comments, sounds like you are pretty but a lot of men are afraid of rejection.. I asked my current boyfriend out first... I know old fashion is that guys ask girls but seriously, if you have good conversation with a guy classmate or friend from church ask him out for coffee or something light to test the waters... I think if you ask you will find it easier then waiting for someone to ask you since that honestly hasn't worked for you so far... (no offense) because that never worked for me either... good luck!

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