What did I do wrong?

purplelilmunster · #1 May 12, 2008, 06:21 PM

okay so this has been bothering me and I know i should just ask him but its too late now.
There is a guy that used to like me about a year ago and at the time I was not trying to get into a relationship and I was uninterested so I turned him down.
We stopped talking for a short while because of it but then recently we started talking. I grew up as a person and wanted a relationship finally and he came at the right time. So for a short bit me and him got close and talked and hung out all the time. Some problems that I noticed was that he would never tell his friends he was with me (I believe they are mad at me for the beginning of the year). So one day I stayed at his place an nothing happened, we just cuddled and made out and it was very romantic. He said that he would call me the next day to hang out again. He never did. I called him and he said he had to study and he would call me later that night.
He didnt and so i called him and he said he couldnt meet up while sounding a little ed up.
He said we would hang out the next day (this is the day he was leaving school to go home) he didnt call all day so I called him and asked him if we were going to meet up and he said "sure" and that he would call me at some point. I was a little aggravated but I was sure he was going to call.
He did not. I knew when he was leaving town so I texted him bye and said have a good summer and that my friends also said bye. He texts back 'bye'
It sucked like hell. He is in the army reserves and he was leaving to go to basic training on Monday. He never called me from friday to sunday when he hung out everyday. (and not excessively just a few hours a day and then we did our own thing) and I couldnt just let him leave without saying goodbye so I called him Sunday night to say bye and He was nice and polite but somewhat cold and I was going to ask him what was up between us but I could not because he was at a family dinner.
He is gone now till july and I dont know what happened between when he dropped me off from his place to now. He used to tell me he would write me from basic and call just to talk. Now I feel like I there is nothing. I liked him a lot to the point I was going to ask him out. This is annoying and stressful and I just dont see what went wrong...

ChihuahuaMomma · May 12, 2008, 10:53 PM

Perhaps he felt something that night. Perhaps he was scared to start liking you and then leave. That's really all I can see. So he avoided you to prevent either of you from hurting or missing eachother.

purplelilmunster · May 12, 2008, 11:01 PM

He asks me if i trust him... and i say yes he should have just told me... he is making it worse if that is the case

ChihuahuaMomma · May 12, 2008, 11:02 PM

Ask him.

purplelilmunster · May 12, 2008, 11:06 PM

I tried but he was busy when I tried to talk to him and now he is gone to basic training till july

ChihuahuaMomma · May 12, 2008, 11:08 PM

You tried over the phone. Like I said, he could have been avoiding you to avoid hurt. I suggest sitting him down IN person when he gets back, and talking to him about this. It's only two months away.

nova225 · May 13, 2008, 04:11 AM

it sounds like you and him are playing CAT and MOUSE....guess who's the cat??? You are all over this guy...give him some space to be free. Maybe he's at the point in his life where he doesn't need anyone right now (free agent). He's going away for awhile and maybe he doesn't want you on his mind the entire time he's away. He might want to be with you, but a LDR is hard.

Stop calling him soooo much...you sound needy and men don't like needy-clingy women.

purplelilmunster · May 13, 2008, 08:23 AM

I call him once after he blows me off then i leave him alone. He used to like me at the beginning of the year and he was very needy once when he wanted to hang out and i was a friends house and we didnt answer the door (at the time I didnt like him) So he went into my friends back yard and started knocking on windows.
actually thinking about that incident makes me not like him so much anymore.

JBeaucaire · May 13, 2008, 11:58 AM

I read your story twice to make sure I got it. I'm sorry, I can't figure out what you're confused about.

You like him, he liked you a little, but after spending some time with you, he decided he wasn't interested and brushed you off. Over and over and over again. And again.

There's no question you like him, he's just not interested, and he's a little passive aggressive so doesn't blatantly SAY "go away", but his actions scream it loud and clear.

Don't they?

The only thing you need to understand is what he is saying, not why. He said goodbye.

purplelilmunster · May 13, 2008, 05:49 PM

wow harsh as . but its true. just wish the douche would say it himself " not as harshly". I guess i knew it but i hate that answer.



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!