Okay help me understand something, please. I have come to realize that one way to get what you want from a man is to withhold sex untill he agrees of course i have been told i was wrong by people who just dnt want their girlfriends to find out about this new trick. okay but what are other ways i can get what i want? what do men want besides no sex for 2 years? im wanting to know because i see other women who get what they want when i dnt. Im a good person and im a person that takes care of her man and children and myself? Do I have to be mean and act like a total you know what or what? Please help me because im really confused. thank you.

NeedKarma

If you think holding back sex to get what you want is an acceptable course of action then you will reap what you sow.

nymphetamine

but hear other women say that is how they get what they want. If thats not true then what is what i really have to do?

NeedKarma

How about a healthy relationship where both people communnicate? I'm assuming that the woman picked her mate for the correct reasons i.e. not for social status, money, etc. but because they are a match and are in love with each other. Witholding sex can only have negative consequenses. Honestly, what is it that you are not getting that you need to withold sex? And what if the man did that to you?

lilfyre

My sister tried that and her man went looking somewhere else, and found it, all she got was what she did not want a big fat divorce. You get what you want by communicating, that the only way, no games honesty and hopefully you will get what you want or if not you can both try to meet in the middle some where. Sneakiness and tricks are not the way. Married 17 years and neither he or I always get what we want, but there is a lot of meetings in the middle, as my daughter say “you are not other people you are Shasta”

nymphetamine

im jealous of these people that have such perfect relationships. Ive tried being the good little girlfriend, ive been honest, i have yet to ever be unfaithfull to a man, ive listened and i am going to wait till im married to ever have sex again. I know men dont like if you just give it up. But it seems like these women have such great guys that care about them and i have only ever met one man who cared if anything he did hurt me and I cant find him. so there must be some sort of secret you other women are holding out on me. is it some sort of voodoo magic ritual you do everyday or what?

talaniman

Somewhere out there, is a good man for you. Just because you want it now doesn't mean you'll get it.Be patient,from what I've read of you in these posts I know you know what to do while you wait for him.As far as with holding sex to get what you want,real bad idea.Sex is the easiest thing for us men to get,forget it(unless your happy with 20 bucks.) Love respect, honor,caring, being behind your man 100%,best friends,emotional,mental,physical support,the list goes on and on.Don't worry though, I know a female of your caliber will attract many men for you to choose from. You just have to be patient and be ready.!You don't have to settle. You'll get the one you want!

rkim291968

This can be dangerous as men have tendancy to look elsewhere for sex, which leads often to break up and divorce. So, I don't recommend this strategy.

Since you asked, here's my personal opinion. Men are selfish and egotistic than women IMO. We want a virtuous woman who turns into a porn star at night. We want a woman who will bring 50% of income and still cook & take care of our children. We want woman dumb enough to let us get away with fooling around. We want a smart woman who will balance our check book. We want younger woman as we get older. In our old age, we want our woman to take care of us. I think you should be getting the picture, no?

nymphetamine

well i dont like for a man to baby me too much, but every once in a while i like to be pampered. so do you think i can get away with having an extra man? one i would sleep with, care for, be the best woman and give all my love to. the other man wouldnt get to sleep with me, he would be like my personal maid who gives me manicures and all that. im just saying cause if the womans got to take care of her man then im going to need some assistance to prepare my self.

mikestorm

I can't help you with getting what you want out of a relationship, but about the withholding sex part: I dated a virgin (she was 27 I was 28) for two years. I didn't guilt her, manipulate her, force her, or make her feel uncomfortable in any way, but I used to fantasize about cheating on her and ultimately broke up with her because of the complete lack a sexual dimension to our relationship.

She wanted to wait till marriage (she's not religious), and while I didn't say anything to her, I personally thought that it was a terrible idea. I am an incredibly sexual person, and sex would be a rather large part in any permanent relationship (read: marriage) I engage in. That said I want to make damn sure the sexual aspect of our relationship is robust, healthy, and pleasurable before she walks down that aisle. My greatest fear in my previous relationship would be to get married, have sex, and then be horrified as she says, "So that's what it's like." and then proceed to mentally check it off her things to do list, and never have it again. As unlikely as that sounds, I'm convinced this girl's decision to abstain stemmed from her complete lack of a sex-drive (trust me, I was with her for two years - I know).

As one of my female friends so eloquently put it: you don't buy a car without kicking the tires first.