i moved to this new high school 2 years ago and i met this great guy, we were friends but he had a big crush on me. he had asked me out 3 times and i said no. but during my first year i was going out with two different guys (not at the same time of course) and he was always jealous. one day he admitted to my best friend that he loved me and that i should be treated better and deserve better because the guys that i went out with never treated me well. during this first year i was here we got so close. we were known in that high school as the high school cutest sweet hearts. we were always together and flirting every second possible. the next year we started school again and our flirting got so intense people actually thought we were going out, then and there it was obvious i started to like him. in november we gave it a try and we went on until janurary and cut it off. he was the one that broke up i was really happy in the relationship. he was one of the most sweetest, caring, respectful guys ive ever met. he did treat me better and made me happy that is like the world to me coming from him. when he broke up with me he said he was happy when we were best friends i said okay what ever makes you happy i will agree with it. i acted i was okay about it but i was traumatized i was crying uncontrollably. there was a point when he wondered whether i was ok or not he couldnt face me he had to send his best friend to make sure i was alright. after we broke up we didnt talk for about a month and i confronted him about it. he said i changed (the real reason was that he had heard i said the day of the break up that he is not the only guy out there there are more guys which i did say because i was mad). what i can admit is that he is my FIRST LOVE!!!! . after that we started talking then step by step the flirting started again now we always are together like the beginning but he doesnt know that i love him but my friends and his friends tell me the way he acts with you he cares about you still alot and that there is deep admiration. also he is going to college in september and it will be a while between everytime i will get to see him. I know i want him back but im just scared if i ask for that i will ruin my friendship with him that i love and he also admits to me that he loves our friendship. some things i dont like about him is when he saw a problem approaching in our relationship he didnt bother on trying to fix it but when his friend had a problem with his girlfriend he fixed it for him and he makes me hold his hand, sit on his lap even though i am dying inside i just cant say no to him. and i want to know what should i do please??? please details!!!

mimi03

From reading your post all I can think about is having guy friends who were interested in me and wanted to date me (during HS). I never wanted to go in that direction, I really valued my friendships and once a guy was a close friend I didnt want to ruin that w/ crazy emotions and other issues that come with relationships. and breakups...I dont know if this is his MO, Im not sure why he wanted to stop dating you but my perspective is that you should cherish the friendship, I know it wont be easy but you said he's going to college and he doesnt seem to understand how important it is to communicate when there's an issue between you two...those two things alone will def. make the relationship very difficult to maintain.
I hope that you can keep him as a close friend, it's hard to meet new people and get that close bond you two probably have so having him to call and talk to or enjoy time with is special w/o being his girlfriend...
Also it doesnt really help you by not being able to say "No". You dont have to hold his hand and Dont sit on his lap...you can be a good friend and enjoy each other's company but dont allow him to string you along by treating like a semi-girlfriend but not giving you his full commitment of being your boyfriend! Set some boundaries there and do what makes you comfortable, you're your number 1 priority! Take care of yourself!