confused :s

samarsh · #1 Sep 11, 2006, 04:57 AM

hey,
there's a boy i met my age nd we started talking then after some time he told me that he liked me nd asked me to be his girlfriend but i told him that i don't date nd thats true but even afterwards we continued talking and flurting. the thing is i got attached to this guy ALOT i even fell in love with him but still im from a concervative family that dates rnt an option in our lives. i need to know what should i do nd how can i know if he loves me too or simply he's taking it all just for fun coz i cant stop thinking of him i miss him so much especially that we dont talk alot now coz he's so busy working nd his phone card is empty can u help me as soon as possible.
thanks

valinors_sorrow · Sep 11, 2006, 06:06 AM

Samarsh, how old are you? It is important to know since it will affect what people will answer here.

samarsh · Sep 11, 2006, 07:25 AM

im 19 years old nd im going to university in a month

valinors_sorrow · Sep 11, 2006, 07:52 AM

Sweetie, I don't mean to rain on your parade but this isn't what you think it is. I know it feels very special and just so wonderful and all, but its really too soon for you to be talking love when its clear by your post that you really don't know him very well. It takes seeing him in all kinds of situations and in relation to all kinds of people (especially his family) to determine if he is trustworthy, especially with something as important as your heart. Girls who throw themselves at boys too easily get a reputation that, trust me, you don't want.

If I may ask....if you are not permitted to date, then what activities does your family support that allows you to get to know a prospective boyfriend? Perhaps you should be focussing on those instead of this one boy. Just a suggestion? You should also know there is no way for any of us to accurately determine what he has on his mind concerning you but that might be what your family can be helpful with. Could you invite him over to dinner?

samarsh · Sep 11, 2006, 08:25 AM

the thing is val, i've seen him around his friends nd i know his parents pretty well nd so does my family..my family doesnt support the whole idea of having a boyfriend..i dunno if its love i have but i wanted u to get the idea of how much attached i m to him that i cant stop thinking about him...i like him for what he is i like him for what i am when im around him he've helped me somehow get over some personal complixities i had i've been so shy nd so "living in an imaginary world" nd with his help(un attentionaly ofcorse) im back to earth :P i dunno what to say i'm so confused

valinors_sorrow · Sep 11, 2006, 08:46 AM

I understand how attached you are and its okay to like him A LOT. I am relieved to hear you see him in many different settings. I hope you will focus on your studies and do some growing up while at university-- which can all get sadly sidetracked by a romantic involvement, by the way. That may be your familiy's concern for you. Its important to have a balance here. May I ask what reasons does your family give for being opposed to a boyfriend?

samarsh · Sep 11, 2006, 12:09 PM

well val, the thing is i've tryed to get my self busy nd useful in many ways to turn my mind to think about other stuff i have work i even volenteer nd im very active person nd i have many plans for university nd planning to succeed with a high average...my family as i mentioned are the kind of conservative family so the idea of dating and boyfriends is not acceptable for them i used to appose to the idea of dating too cozi thought that my heart and reputation is valuable for me that im not risking to make them a game for any guy but now after i met him i dont know wt i want i just know i miss him so much

AKaeTrue · Sep 13, 2006, 02:31 AM

The feelings you're having right now are hard to go through. They will start to fade. Is your family Conservative because of a religious belief? What about his family, do they have the same beliefs/ does he have the same beliefs?
Have you tried talking to your family about the feelings you're having, do they care about or even know what your going through?



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