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i don't understand what you mean by "What state do you live in?" sorry
He's 16
Going out, talk about our life, get to know each other
Don't know but he's not the kind of guy who just want one thing as far as I know.
Do you live in Florida, California, Texas, Canada, England?
Different places have different age of consent laws and even if you do not plan on doing anything things happen. Somebody could report that he IS doing stuff with you, you could have 'a weak moment', so it is best to know the laws and maybe just talk until you are of age before you start actually spending time alone or going out together.
I have a rule for dating. Don't feel compelled to live by it, but it's the one I use:
Take the age of the older person and divide it by 2, then add 7. If you get a number greater than that of the younger person, you shouldn't date. By this rule, 14 is the youngest age a person can date, and at that age it's only ok for them to date other 14-year-olds. This also means that an 18-year-old can date anyone from 16-22, and a 22-year-old can date anyone from 18-28 etc.
But still, it really comes down to the two people involved. At 14 it's not legal to have sex (except in a few countries, it depends where you live), but at 16, in my country at least, it is legal.
So even if you think you wouldn't be pressured, do you think you'd feel confident in saying "no" if the occassion arose?
Also, how well do you know him?
Do you think the age gap would be an issue in terms of interests, ideas, psycological development etc?
If you think it'll work, then the age gap isn't so huge as to cause major problems. But you're younger and might not know quite what you're in for. Just make sure you're careful and know how to set boundaries.
Meeting for a movie, going out to eat, etc.. Many parents are more comfortable if their children (especially daughters and yes, I know that is sexist) start out going out in groups for awhile first. Then maybe moving onto dropping their child off at the movies, for example, and picking them back up at a designated time....or acting as a chauffeur for the couple. This gives them time to see how responsible you are (are you waiting for them when you say you will be, going where you say you will, etc.), how the boy interacts with you and with them (very important to make a good impression from the start!), and become more comfortable with the idea if it is new territory.
Remember, your parents were young too.....even though clothing, music, and hair styles may change over the years....feelings teens have do not, so it may take them time to get used to the idea.....and like it or not, you will always be their little girl so while they want to see you happy and enjoying yourself, they also will feel a great need to keep you safe....difficult line to walk sometimes.....
I think 14 is a bit young to start dating.
"Going out, talk about our life, get to know each other"
If this is your idea of dating it's a quite simple concept...so simple that it sounds a lot like a friendship. Why not keep it that way, just as a friendship?
((Just remember these things start out simple but they can quickly get serious, complicated and undesirable.))
I'd just like to encourage you to remember that you have your entire life ahead of you! So, there's plenty of time for dating
With this said it's ok to have guys as only friends for now...from what you described as dating, that was the exact premise of my HS friendships with guys. Trust me it was always fun but I never had the drama/stress that my friends had with guys. Of course my male friends would go through periods of time where they liked me and wanted to date but I stayed focused on my goals and ME! And it paid off!
Why not date yet?
This is the time to really start focusing on YOU because as you mature you will change and life will bring many challenges and gifts but YOU should be your number ONE right now and dating can often be a HugE distraction especially when you are young...not because your feelings arent valid but just because of your lack of life experience and maturity <I dont mean that you arent smart but you are still growing mentally...did you know that your brain is still developing and will continue until your mid20s???> This alone is a big factor!
I hope you can wait a little longer to get to that next step (dating)...Just curious what are your parents' rules about you dating?
i would say dont be too concerned with some law of your state. it doesnt prevent babies from having sex so really the so called "law" is insignificant here. if you think you are ready to date, then date. no one should be able to tell you that you are too young if you understand what you're getting yourself into, except ur mom of course because u live with her and cant make her go away. plus dating isnt always about sex i dont know why you people have your panties up in a bunch.
i would say dont be too concerned with some law of your state. it doesnt prevent babies from having sex so really the so called "law" is insignificant here.
So, you are advocating underage sex? You really think that there are not sexual offender laws? You see, where I work (and I AM a nurse) any child that delivers by a father that is significantly older than the "mother" gets reported to CPS. It is law where I live.
If I have a child of 14 in my labor and delivery department and the father of her baby is 18 or older, we have to report it. Why? It is a sex crime.
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