At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
I am recently on the open market... You'll know my situation from my other posts.
Here is the question. I find my self at the bar very willing to talk to any girl that sparks my interest. I just walk up or tap them on there shoulder and ask them their name as they walk by. Throw them the normal questions like what they do, where they are from....blah blah blah. Eitherway, is it bad that I usually just like to meet as many as possible? I talked to about 6-10 girls when I went out last time.
Guess the question is, does it throw girls off when I am forward, should I try to be more tactful?
I know I am not bad looking so I am not worried about crap like that. I just was wondering if being confident throws girls off, etc. I am normally not very aggressive when I talk to these ladies also though, usually a few lines get there name buy them a drink then move on. I don't go out of my way to find any particular girl again....usually.
Any thoughts would be great I just want to see if my methods are gonna work out in my best interest.
I know you wanted a womans opinion but I'm throwing mine in first! I tend to find that women find confidence attractive. So going up and talking to them is a good thing - just don't come across as arogant etc.
Anyway - if you didn't go up and talk to them, you would never get a chance to get their attention. You're doing it the best way.
Thats a start. I don't think I am too cocky, I'm just nice and have found that the more girls I talked too the better my night seem to go. Also a note for girls that respond. I'm not out for sex as of late, not really what I need so I usually just like to talk maybe catch a phone number if I actually like talking to them.
Again I like to set up like a learning area for myself and a reference for others so any advice ladies/gentlemen (I guess) would be appreciated.
HI,
Only one suggestion I have. You seem to be doing this very well, asking them about themselves.
That's a very good start. Getting someone to talk about themself is being a good listener. That's what people like. At some point, I'm sure they will ask you some things about yourself, then you can talk about you.
But, listening to others will make friends faster than them listening to you.
I do wish you the best.
Okay...now for the woman's perspective. Of course this is only my personal opinion. I don't see that you are doing anything wrong at the bar with the ladies. Seems like you peak there interest by getting them talking, buying them a drink, etc. And LTheobald is right, confidence is an attractive quality in a guy if it doesn't cross the line into cockiness. And you say you aren't looking for sex, which is refreshing. But what exactly are you looking for? If you are looking for a meaningful relationship with a woman, I'm not sure that the bar is where you are going to find it. I spent a good portion of my twenties (and I am still in my twenties now...so this is a relevant statement) hanging out in the bar with my girls, dancing, having a few drinks. I even dated a couple of guys that I met there for a brief time. However, it never went anywhere. I am getting married in a month and a half...the guy I'm marrying? He grew up on the same street as me. His mom worked with my mom. It seems to me that the best relationships start outside the bar with people that you have something in common with. Maybe someone you work with, or go to school with. Maybe its a buddy's sister or a friend of your cousin's.
But hey, if you are just lookin to have a good time at the bar, meet a few chicks, have some beers...then it seems like you are going about it the right way.
I was with a girl for 4 years that I lived one street down from. Moved to NYC with and subsequently love the hell out of. At the bar I'm looking for someone I talk to that actually makes me want to talk to them more. You know ask for the number etc. I've been out of the relationship for about 2 weeks and I'd like to think that I can last without a one night stand for a while, that is why I am not out for sex. More to try to meet someone to waste some time with.
I am avoiding a 'meaningful' relationship now, although I don't know how else I could stand to talk to a girl for an extended period of time if we didn't click.
So no the bar is not my sole area for a meaningful relationship, but it is my favorite for meaningless ones...
Eitherway thanks again all, any comments are good. Talkin about this is better then b****'n about my ex leaving me right?
I'm glad that there are some guys who can tell it like it is, I'm in my mid 20's and before I met my guy, I did the whole bar scene trying to meet someone thing, it actually did pan out in the end, I wasn't looking for anything meaningful at the time either, and thats when I met my husband. When you aren't looking is when you usually find that special someone. Good luck jc105
Funniest thing though, yesterday my friend invites me to the small bar on my way home from work. I go I talk to the bartender before he gets there, still talking with her after he gets there. Now I am totally against hitting on bartenders only because its usually a lost cause, but this girl was all about it. Think I'm gonna find the perfect friend...
Female and behind a bar!
MWHAHAHA. LOL
Good times. Good to hear that its not gonna creep girls out if I just walk up to them, always afraid I'm gonna look like a douche.
I am going to college bars. Those girls usually aren't alcoholics yet...
I'm not gonna lie, a one night stand may make me feel like a million bucks at this point, but I have always wanted someone I could wake up and talk to. Not roll over and run like my boy has a tendancy to do.
Linear Mode
