I've had my ups and downs with dating since recovering from a break-up from a long-term relationship about a year ago. I recently met a beautiful and smart "nice girl" through a friend and we totally hit it off on our first official date last night.

Compared to the bar trash I've been hooking up with and casually dating, this girl has serious potential. I like sweet and down-to-earth girls who aren't materialistic or vain... she fits the description. She looks a lot like Natalie Portman and has this quiet but confident and sweet demeanor about her... I was sort of swept by her personality and looks.

We met up for some food and a Japenese restaurant and the whole time we were talking, leaning into each other and making serious eye contact. She offered me some of her salmon. I paid for the meal and asked if she'd like to walk around the area. So we're walking and talking and we sit down outside and she says "I want to know all about you" and we start asking some more serious questions like past relationships, etc. I told her about my ex and she told me about a 3-year relationship she had over a year ago as well.

We're both kind of in the same boat... kinda struggling to find a good girl/guy in the bar scene so it was like a fresh breath of air for the both of us. I asked her if she'd like to get dessert and a coffeeshop and she put her arm in mine and kind of snuggled her head into my shoulder and said that I was cuddly or something. After some more conversation over cheesecake, I walked her to the subway stop and she gave me a kiss on the cheek and said "you're a decent human being...call me sometime." lol.

I feel like I've found a girl who I can really let my defenses down and get to know and treat her with respect. I'd like to turn this into a new relationship because a girl like her is so few and far between but I don't want my anxiety to get the better of me.

I know people and I've read on here what happens when you rush. Rushing is never a good thing and it only makes you look desperate and needy/clingy or whatever. But feeling like this has gotten me spun around and even though I can type this stuff, I'm not sure if I can actually do it.

I want to take her dancing sat night or maybe ice skating Sunday afternoon but I'm afraid that's too soon since we already saw each other last night. But I'm 23 and she's 25 and I'm pretty sure this isn't like high school anymore and things can move faster.

(FYI, I met my girlfriend in high school and we dated/broke up when we were at college)

Please help and tell me how a man with his head straight should act because my head is spinning!

First of all you aren't in love. You are however infactuated. Love is slow gradual process, and can't be accomplished overnight. She sounds like a very nice lady and maybe she is the one. The thing of not pushing, if it is meant to be then it will happen. I would call her up and causally invite her to do something this weekend. Tell her that you had a great time and would love to see her again. It is imporant to keep lines of communication open early on and through out a relationship. You just have to be yourself and not put on any false "mask" if you want to make this work. Good luck and keep me updated.

Thanks.

The way I see it, if it's meant to be it'll happen if you try your best. If you try your best and don't succeed, that's the way it was supposed to happen. So basically I apply that way of thinking in the sense that if we're compatible and we like each other, there won't be any such thing as "too much". There are obvious limits, but do you kind of understand what I mean? If two people like each other, they'll want to be together, so I guess I should just go with that?

I was never really one who worried about people liking me. I figure, if they like you they like you because attraction isn't a choice.

I just worry about seeing her too much. Do you guys think once a week every week is too much? Just trying to set some guidelines for myself here... I don't want to smother her by being all over her time and space, even though I'm on the edge of my seat wanting to get to know her.

It's such a breath of fresh air after being trapped with the skanks of bars and clubs for almost a year!

No I personally don't think that once a week is too much, now ever single day a week would be a bit much. Just do what feels right to you and her.