I have a problem my boyfriend of over 8yrs broke up with me.we have been together since Jan 3rd 1999, and I was his first love,and sex partner.I was his first everything and the first serious relationship.all he said was that you loves me and cares for me but doesn't have the same feelings for me.This is the second time he broke up with me.The first time he broke up with me saying the things arent the same and he tells me he met this girl on line from miami and we live in New Jersey and he feels a connection with her and this was about almost 2yrs ago, and they became boyfriend and girlfriend. they never saw each other and just talk on the phone and online.then she broke it off because he kept coming for me for sex and stupid me went for it..then we can back together on Feb. 3rd of 2006.things were going good.then in end of may of 2007 he break up with me by saying he love me and cares for me what doesnt feel the same way and he said he swears there is no girl but then i hear that he is talking to this girl online and hanging out with her.i'm so heart broken and feel betrayed.I did everything for him,I drove him around,got him anything he wanted,help him get his license,made appointment for him,cleaned his room,and pretty much babied him. i did more than his own parents ever did for him in that over 8yrs I was with him.all he did in the past was lie to me,Cheated on me with girls online about seven years ago and told me two years ago a day after my grandfather died.I seriously pretty much dealt with a lot.he didnt cheat on me ever since that 7 girls about 7 years ago, but for some reason I felt I was the one trying hard and he was never there for me.He is anti-social and never wanted to hangout with groups of people.All he does is go on his computer.he never wanted to do thinks like camping,hiking or anything fun.He was like jekyll and hyde one day he was happy and the next he didnt want anything to do with or anyone and wanted to be left a lone.I keep hoping he will change and stuff and even after a break have a fear of another girl coming to his life and changing him for the best.I love him so much and really want him to come back but he keeps telling me that he doesn't want me and doesnt want to be with me and tells me that it's me almost 2months and that I should be fine now.You think he will ever realize he is making a big mistake and come back.How could someone after 8yrs totally stop loving someone that quick.he tells me I call and text him too much, and that he tells me I should move on.Could it be that I was too needy,or clingy.Or maybe I was calling him to much and stuff and he got sick of me? I dont know what went wrong? I never cheated on him, and was a great girlfriend even he said I was so what went wrong..I cry all the time and wish he would come back..please help me and tell me what should i do and you think he will realize he made a mistake. i'm so heart broken and confused
Please someone help me and tell me what I can do? I'm so hurt..

pokopsichosis

Ok just a little fair warning this might be a little hard to listen to but this is my honest opinion on this kind of situation.

If he has been cheating on you before then he probably has continued to do this without your knowing, i know this from experience from helping a friend out with this same kind of problem. It's hard to let go but if you basically did everything (if that is what you're trying to say) and he gave hardly anything in return then he really isn't worth your time.

When he was in the relationship with the miami girl you said he came to you for sex, i also have experience with this from helping a friend with the same problem, same as last time, but the point being is that he probably did not love you and probably hasn't for a long while if that is what happened/is happening, he was merely using you for the sex.

If you would like to talk this out I'm available to talk with you about it, this kind of situation you need to talk it all out with someone who will care and give you the truth, no lies or cover-ups to try to not hurt your feelings, just the truth. If you would like to contact me my email is and i would be more than glad to help you through this.

Good luck and i hope this helped, even if it only helped a little.