I've liked a friend of mine very much for around six months but have been attracted to him for over a year. We go out in a group and three weeks ago we went camping where things got a little bit out of hand in a game of dares. Although he had a girlfriend he went along with the dares, most of which involved me. When we got back from camping we had an instant messaging conversation in which he told me he had enjoyed the game and it had made him realise that his girlfriend was not mature enough for him (she is a few years younger than us and not ready for a sexual relationship). So the next day he broke up with her, and told me he liked me but needed a bit of time to let things settle with her before anything could happen between us. However, most of our friendship group found out that there was something between us because he talked about it with them. We exchanged a lot of messages over the next week and then at the weekend, so a week after the camping, the same group of people stayed over at my house. This time we were in a room alone together for half an hour or so and there was a lot of kissing, fondling etc (mostly initiated by him). After that weekend he didn't communicate as much as he had been so mid-week I had a chat with him to make sure everything was ok, and he said that he did like me but needed more time and warned me not to wait around for him in case things changed. That was around ten days ago, and the other night he sent me a text saying that I shouldn't wait for him anymore because he was confused and just wanted to be single. Our group are camping again tomorrow so I wanted to see him face to face beforehand to make sure there would be no awkwardness around the others. We met up this morning where he told me that the reason I shouldn't wait for him was because he'd actually decided to get back with his ex!

All of this has left me feeling really let down because I've liked him for so long, and my feelings for him are quite intense. It's all I've been thinking about for the last three weeks which has made me want him more and more. I feel that he built me up for a relationship that is now not going to happen and I am really upset. He did warn me not to wait around for him but he definitely led me to believe that something could happen.

I'm really not sure what to do now... I suppose there's not much I can do if that's his decision. But if there is any advice that may be useful I'd really like to hear it.

Many thanks.

softbalgrl1331

I think you should move on.

It seems to me that you were just a buddie to fool around with.

Then when your friend realized how fun it was, he wanted more of it so he broke up with his girlfriend and went to you.

But, I guess he changed his mind again and went back to her, like you said.

I'm sorry that he hurt you by doing all of that.

You deserve someone that will like you for other reasons than your kissing abilities.

I hope you move on and find a much better boy that likes everything about you.

Good luck and best of wishes! Softy

anongirl17

Thanks Softy
I know you're right but I would've settled for any kind of relationship with him, however casual. Boys hardly ever show an interest in me because of my lack of confidence, so to almost get the one guy I really wanted and then lose him at the last minute is so frustrating. I rarely meet people who share my interests and he's one of them, which he said was one of the reasons he liked me (leading me to think that it was about more than just my kissing abilities). It just seems like such a shame. Plus I'm more physically attracted to him than I ever have been to anyone else. Everything was right. Just a bit more fun would've been nice, it annoys me that I'm going through this pain when we didn't even have a relationship. I feel as miserable as I did when I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years!