I've been swimming at the university pool since July and sort of known this boy. It took him a couple of weeks of saying 'hi' and chit chat to ask for my number and ask if I wanted to have lunch (that was August).
Although we agreed to meet up (weeks later), he didn't show up... and had soem reasons which I don't believe to be totally true.
I eventually invited him to my house wraming party in September which he couldn't make it to cause he was sick.
We've since exchagned online contacts and we do talk more comfortably now at the pool and online. He occasionally gives me lifts back to my house after swimming.
We've since gone for coffee twice alone and a couple of dinners with another friend in October. He would suggest things like movie and watching tv shows together but wouldn't follow up on them although I agree to them.
I like him and I feel he does like me as well but I have a hard time understanding why he never seems direct in approaching me... we may have a nice conversation over coffee one evening and the next evening... he might seem a little awkard...or he doesn't seem that sure of himself.
Is that what is going on??
He's said a lot about his family life or the lack of it..... His mom is gay, been with a partner. He doesn't like to stay at home much. His dad (to my knowledge) is in his third marriage. He has a half sister from his dad's second marrige who had a baby at 19. He seems close to his uncle and seems to visit his grandmother alot. He sometimes imply not being too happy with the way things are with his life, and seems to want to open up.
I feel I could be a friend to him if nothing else.... but I don't know where I stand with him... it feels like he's interested in me as more than a friend but then he doesn't consistantly approach me in that sense. Is he just confused about his life or me?

Krs

Have you told him this directly?

Odie

You mean that I like him....??
No....
Should I or how does one go about saying something like that?
It gets frustrating sometimes.. we had a nice coffee catch up on the weekend... I do see him at the pool everyday... but we haven't even really talked properly since that coffee, apart from just exchanging hey's and hi's.
Like today.... I notice him looking at me and stuff from the corner of my eye... but he won't approach to talk... and I find it hard to approach at the same time as well(mainly cause I don't feel that comfy in my swimmers and cause he sorta seems awkard with approaching me as well)

talaniman

Whats the hurry? You've just started talking and maybe he is just not ready for anything more than casual friends for now. Slow down and think a minute, he likes you and likes talking to you. You sound as if you want to see a lot more o him and maybe now is not the time. This forum is full of those that moved to fast and wondered why they crashed and burned. Please show a little patients and proceed at a slower pace and have fun while you get to know each other.

Odie

LOL...
Yes.. that does make sense....
I've never been the type to hurry wtih relationships but I seem to be very impatient at the moment..
I think I might feel a little less uneasy with the situation if things were consistant I guess.
Thanks.

Krs

When first meet my man we were good friend for 3 months until it blossomed!

I was so confused i always wondered if he liked me more than just a friend my mates used to tell me "go for it, he really fancies you".. i was shy, unsure so i couldnt.
His actions were confusing, you know!

So 1 fine night, i meet with with all our other friends, and started chatting and i told him "later tonight i would like to talk to you alone".. He was intrigued!

Later that night i opened up to him, i expressed how i felt and i told him.

7 years down the line, and we are now married

Odie

Should I just not let myself be all worked up about the inconsistancies.... see how things go?? I am going away for a month at the end of Nov.... I guess there is a part of me that feels like if we are so washy wushy, we might have to start from scratch when I get back or he might not even want to talk to me then. ( actually now that I have said that out loud... it sounds so silly)

Krs

Yes maybe its best to leave it.
You are not sure, so better leave it as it is.

The reason i shared my experience is coz i was sure, its different with you.

What would u like to do b4 u go away?

Odie

Well.... to be honest.. although it might be tooo early.. I'd like to know if he likes me...
or at least be comfortable being friends with each other...

By the way, he's 6 years younger than me... it doesn't look like it bothers him... but I thought I should mention it anyway

Krs

which makes him how old?