I've been swimming at the university pool since July and sort of known this boy. It took him a couple of weeks of saying 'hi' and chit chat to ask for my number and ask if I wanted to have lunch (that was August).
Although we agreed to meet up (weeks later), he didn't show up... and had soem reasons which I don't believe to be totally true.
I eventually invited him to my house wraming party in September which he couldn't make it to cause he was sick.
We've since exchagned online contacts and we do talk more comfortably now at the pool and online. He occasionally gives me lifts back to my house after swimming.
We've since gone for coffee twice alone and a couple of dinners with another friend in October. He would suggest things like movie and watching tv shows together but wouldn't follow up on them although I agree to them.
I like him and I feel he does like me as well but I have a hard time understanding why he never seems direct in approaching me... we may have a nice conversation over coffee one evening and the next evening... he might seem a little awkard...or he doesn't seem that sure of himself.
Is that what is going on??
He's said a lot about his family life or the lack of it..... His mom is gay, been with a partner. He doesn't like to stay at home much. His dad (to my knowledge) is in his third marriage. He has a half sister from his dad's second marrige who had a baby at 19. He seems close to his uncle and seems to visit his grandmother alot. He sometimes imply not being too happy with the way things are with his life, and seems to want to open up.
I feel I could be a friend to him if nothing else.... but I don't know where I stand with him... it feels like he's interested in me as more than a friend but then he doesn't consistantly approach me in that sense. Is he just confused about his life or me?

Odie

22
I'm 28

Krs

So its been four months since you've known each other, how about tryin goin out together as friends b4 you chat about the bigger stuff?

Odie

I feel like we are kinda doing that now.... for about a month now I guess..... not always on our own, sometimes with a third person.....
He suggests going for movies and etc.... but then he will do a 'never mind' even before we finish the conversation...
He does that a lot... not jsut with movies actually

Krs

Then you should ask him say "hey, what do you mean exactly when first you suggest going to the movies etc, then you say 'nevermind' before we we finish our conversation?"
Say it in a curious manner.

talaniman

This guy is in a whole different place and I can understand his seeming to be wishy washy. He is still fresh in the world and you've seen a few things. Come on slow down, and let this guy catch up or at least get to know you, Understand he is going to protect himself and if you push too hard he will back pedal. I think you will need more than just patience, back up a lot and let him get to know you at his pace. Your putting too much into this too fast. Just me.

Odie

Thank you both Talaniman and Krs.
It helps a lot to have talked. :-)

Krs

You're welcome