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I am a 34 year old woman. I have been dating a 45 year old man for six years. He currently lives with his mother but stays many nights with me at my home with me and my four children. He works and provides for us very well when I ask for help. My problem with him is, he is a drug dealer. I use the drug he sells and so it is very hard for me to quit. Even when I break up with him, I end up letting him back in for what ever reason and I start smoking all over again. I love my kids. I hate that I am on drugs and I want to quit. I also want him to stop selling. He tried that, but said it wasn't working out as far as money. He says he has to hustle because he has two children in college, and other children he has to provide for, and me and my children, plus his truck note and the bills at his mothers house. I want us to work, but we fight Allll the time. And the only time we get along is when we smoke, I know this is unhealthy, but how do I walk away? Should I give him even MORE time to get his money right, or just move the hell on?
Move the hell on.
This is a sticky situation for your children and for you. Get on with it, get help with quitting and let your kids have a normal life! What would you recommend your children do if they asked you for this same advice? Good luck sweet heart!
EDIT:::::::::
I got to thinking, and as I recall, living in a place where "doobies" were everyones best friend, I remember these sellers to have many people coming by at all times of the day and night, every type of person, good and bad. I just don't see this as safe for you in any sense. Is there a reason why you can't leave and make it on your own or is this all becasue you just love him? I know it is hard to get out of a groove, but I just can't help thinking that this is dangerous for you and the kids.
move the hell on and stop him from being in your home,you can do better,and with out him you can stop the drugs.so what he helps you with bills ect you dont need him or his money, yeah it might be bit hard to cope at first,but youll have to get used to not having his help. you can not rely on other people to support you,you need to support yourself and your kids
and if you really wanted to stop the smoke then the words you use are ''NO I DON'T WANT ANY'' i smoked myself i dont any more i did pills and coke and ket and speed but i stopped it all on the day i found out i was pregnant with my first so if i can stop all them you can do a simple task and stop smoking pot for your kids
He will never "get his money in order" he sells drugs because he does not want to work hard for his money. And he does not love you since he gives you the drugs. And if you don't get along without the drug, that is even worst.
Look at it this way, the police do a drug bust in your home, he and you get arrested the children all go to foster care. you and he are convicted of possession of drugs for sale, and he gets also for the sale of drugs.
So during the 3 to 5 years you are in jail, your kids are in foster care and you have a hard time getting them back.
That is what you are asking to happen.
A mother who uses drugs and lives with a drug dealer does not really love or care properly for her children.
Move on, move on, move on!!!! What's going to change in the next 6 years that didn't change in the last 6 years? You are putting not only yourself at risk but also your children, your home, everything you own. Figure out your priorities...the drugs or your kids and life as you know it (when not drug induced)?
It's said that a thug needs love too, but at what price to the ones doing the loving? If you have more to lose by being with him than being without him, he needs to go and you need to look after yourself and your family. Take this opportunity to clean up (you said you want to quit, so get help and do it) and work at becoming self-sufficient. It's a great lesson for your children to see, and it will give you the best feeling in the world.
And, maybe your BF will learn and follow by your example....he's 45, he's got to be getting tired of the game. Drug laws are getting stiffer by the day and I really doubt he wants to pull a quarter in the pen or get broke down by another dealer. He's too old for that mess...
It's hard, but you can do it....you WANT to stop and get your life together and that is already a victory on your part.
Seems to me that you wouldn't ask this question if deep down inside you didn't already know what needs to be done. Be strong...
Let me get this straight. You are a drug addict? Have children in the house that you are exposing to this junk and all the dangers associated with it? And your "BF" is a drug dealer. What part of stupid don't you understand? IF I knew where you lived I would have social services get your children out of that situation in about two minutes! There is no excuse for endangering your children like that.
What would you recommend your children do if they asked you for this same advice? Good luck sweet heart!
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