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Jiser · May 18, 2007, 01:26 AM

So you want hope that you will get back with your ex? As most do when dumped. Simple you need to move on first. Get your life back, do the things you enjoy, work on yourself, your wants, your desires, your dreams. Your ex will not forget you!

You don't need anyone to be happy. So give yourself time, whether it be weeks, months or years to find what you want from life not what anyone else does. Keep yourself busy, join the gym and become the guy/girl your ex fell for. Become sexy, fit, changed with a lust for life. Don't be a clingy needy person. As it's a darn lot more attractive if your not and make changes in your life. Understand where you went wrong and LEARN!

When ready you may want to try light contact and see where you go from there. I am finally getting along with my ex now after 4 months of being apart. We have stuff planned together in the next month or so. So who knows... Nobody can tell what the future holds but you need to be happy first!

SouthernBelle06 · May 18, 2007, 05:39 AM

Yes, but what about in a case where your ex specifically dumped you for another person and is now dating them? It seems like the things you mentioned would only work to give you hope if your ex left you for reasons that weren't that bad (perhaps they were confused, had a lot going on, had moved too fast, needed space, etc.) and still happened to be single when you make the light contact. I don't think that if I made light contact with my ex who did to me just what I mentioned above (his excuse being that we were long distance anyway), it would make much difference.

Jiser · May 18, 2007, 06:00 AM

True true!

rol · May 18, 2007, 06:01 AM

Hi southernbelle:)

Hope you are doing fine.
I agree with you in that if an ex is with someone else then its time to cut all contact , period.

I agree with Jiser in that you need to be happy and get over your ex and if they start to contact they need to fit in with your busy life.
This is where I am right now I guess. I haven't seen my ex since October (its been a year now since our breakup)but he has emailed here and there and I've responded when I've had time.Now he wants to meet, and we were supposed to meet tonight, but I'm tired so I I'm going to cancel and I've quite a lot of plans for the weekend so maybe ill squeeze him in next week.
It feels really really good to get over someone and not be running to their beck and call.

This time last year I was checking my phone and email every 5 minutes,
Right now I don't care.
He will be treated like any guy I've just met ,all our past is history.
I look after myself and I come first:)

Jiser · May 18, 2007, 06:09 AM

Well I really want my ex back :( I saw her Wednesday night and I was like woha! Gorgeous; ]
I was just starting to get over her as well lol! She seems keen anyway though. Have to remember slow and steady wins the race!

rol · May 18, 2007, 06:15 AM

I think 4 months is still a very short time Jiser.
What were the issues for the breakup? Would she have worked through these?

Keep a string of contact in there and see how it goes I guess.

Jiser · May 18, 2007, 06:52 AM

In all honesty I was too insecure I think ;p expected a lot more from someone who didn't want it yet. However we did get on great and had a great time and I was mostly happy. But yeah I plan to keep up a string of contact as you say, see how it goes.

rol · May 18, 2007, 07:03 AM

Its just that you remind me a bit of myself here who thought that 'friendship' with the ex would be a great idea and luckily Tal and Skell took that thought out of my head and to who I am eternally grateful.

First you need to move on, really move on and get over it and work on your issues and your insecurity. 4 months may just not be enough. You will know when the time is right but you need to be really honest with yourself first.

Jiser · May 18, 2007, 07:39 AM

To be honest I don't know what to think :) Just going to keep on chugging on =D Take what life throws @ me, a bit of fun here a bit of fun there.

rol · May 18, 2007, 08:14 AM

Yeah keep chugging on:)
If you don't know what to think you are not "there" yet. You will know what to think when you are there.
:)

Jiser · May 19, 2007, 10:30 AM

Well WENT CLUBbing with her last night. It was OK, turns out she wants to stay single for a while. She had her tongue down some random guys throat most of the night. LOL

talaniman · May 19, 2007, 10:58 AM

You did great in you original post, but we all know that you are still carring that torch, so we know you haven't moved on, and still think things can happen. I think your setting yourself up for the big fall and should leave her alone. Don't confuse false hope with good health.

Jiser · May 19, 2007, 12:37 PM

Hurting a lot now because of the past few days... She just wants me as a friend on the back burner. Once she's done her single life HAHA God what an idiot I am I can't let go of this stupid 18 year old girl.

Geoffersonairplane · May 19, 2007, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by Jiser

Hurting alot now because of the past few days....She just wants me as a friend on the back burner. Once shes done her single life HAHA God what an idiot iam i can't let go of this stupid 18 year old girl.

Leave it alone Jiser..

With the greatest respect I think you are still pining for her and I know this because I was like that for a while with my ex.

You have to remove her from your life.

Back burner?

You are worth more than that, no?

Keep moving forward, not backwards.. I've seen some very impressive responses on this website from you but I think you are still hurting inside about your past with the ex.

Listen to yourself, your mind.

Jiser · May 19, 2007, 03:46 PM

THX :) I was doing well until she started wanting to meet up for 'drinks' etc. She's now coming to a dance festival with my friend and I at the end of June. Man... Anybody want any advise - stay away from ex's NC all the way¬!

diya · May 19, 2007, 04:17 PM

Jiser, some girls just want to get some ego satisfaction" hey he is still around for me"... I am thinking from the girl's perspective in your case as you say she wants to be your friend without even bothering to ask you what you'd want. If you still have feelings for her in a different way, and her feelings are just restricted to being a friend, then let me tell you... u'll be feeling pathetic all along. Time will surely come when you'd get someone who would reciprocate in the same fashion to make a relationship worth it... do not hang in your hopes like that for someone who is gone... and those who go away, leave a knot in the rope for a lifetime... isn't it.. So be strong and on your own... nothing and no one can snatch that happiness from you... u know what I mean.

diya · May 19, 2007, 06:35 PM

Thank you Tal, your words of appreciation always mean a great deal to me..

mckenzie134 · May 19, 2007, 07:18 PM

Jisr I really don't think you are ready yet but well you can't give up I know you want her back and well she is still available just don't all into the friends category she may just want you around till she does move on and find someone. Try and make her chase hope your doing that.

Jiser · May 20, 2007, 04:57 AM

I am kind of having the attitude now of giving up ;) I am fed up of this whole thing, my happiness is my own not anyone else.