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sotnasa · Jan 13, 2010, 12:53 AM

I been dating her for a year and five months. We were fiends before that and neither she or I were anyone's type. I got to know her when one of my friends played, had sex and then ignored her. After 3 months of talking, we developed some kind of attraction and close to Xmas we started dating. She grew very attached to me and since we were on the same college we spent A LOT of time together. At first I thought things were moving in too fast but for her it was a perfect pace. After 7 months I told her I loved her, she cried when she heard those words and said back to me. I did everything possible to please her and she did the same. She often was scared and complained about how perfect this relationship was even though we had are differences and fights. After one year and a month together she wanted to move in together. I found that idea to be perfect and we started to made plans for that. She often talked about her future and I was always included in her plans. She even talked to her friends about me and her plans for the future. The last time I saw her we had what I call a perfect day. I made her favorite dinner and we had a movie afterwords, but it was one of those days that you can't stop kissing and appreciating each other more then the usual. She even cried because the guy on the movie that died reminded her of me and she didn't want me to die or leave and that was the last time I saw her. However 3 days after that she started to act very distant and dropped the bomb on me. She wanted to break up because she was confused. Later on she told me that she went to a party, met this guy and asked him to sleep on the same bed as her because she felt bad due the reason he was sleeping on the floor. He kissed her on the cheek with what she calls it "a stranger passion" and she liked and wanted to make out with him very badly. Now she doesn't know what she wants. She miss the feeling of being single and hitting on other guys. Up until then I understood. But even though she wants to be single she still wants me in her life. Apparently she still loves me very much. Almost two weeks has passed and she haven't got me a decision. She still text me how much she loves me but she can't tell me what she wants. I am very confused because this relationship went from good to bad extremely quick. I also don't know how to take this. I never did this much for a person before. So I need some advices =(

jaysie90 · Jan 13, 2010, 01:25 AM

We all face temptations in relationships. If she really loved you, with all of her heart, mind, and soul, she would have overcame those temptations. Being young, it is understandable she wants to experience the company of other men. She isn't ready to settle down with one person yet, but if you maintain a friendship, when she is ready the first person she will likely think of is you. Maybe she is going through a phase, or presenting that she is unable to commit and your relationship will always be "I want to take a break," and will always be the go-to-guy.
You have every right to be confused, but the next step is entirely up to you. There are women out there who will give you their whole heart and never question their love for you.
I wish you the best of luck in finding some clarity at this hazey time. :)

amicon · Jan 13, 2010, 01:29 AM

Go no contact and don't talk,text or in any other way communicate with her.
Let her sort out her confused life and go live yours.

sotnasa · Jan 13, 2010, 02:03 AM

All right, I will do that. Thanks for the advice even though its going to be hard.

amicon · Jan 13, 2010, 02:13 AM

You will be fine-it just takes time.
Take good care of yourself.
Keep posting here if you need to.

emopunk7 · Jan 13, 2010, 02:30 AM

Time to go NC and move on. She is not the girl for you.

sotnasa · Jan 13, 2010, 02:47 AM

Originally Posted by emopunk7

Time to go NC and move on. She is not the girl for you.

She might not be, but as for right now I don't think that cause I still loves her very much.

amicon · Jan 13, 2010, 02:59 AM

You may not believe me but your feelings will fade with time.
Make sure you keep busy and see friends and family so that you have people to talk to.

sotnasa · Jan 13, 2010, 03:05 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

You may not believe me but your feelings will fade with time.
Make sure you keep busy and see friends and family so that you have people to talk to.

I will do that. Thank You very much for all the advices it helps a lot.:)

amicon · Jan 13, 2010, 03:13 AM

You're welcome.
Keep us updated.

sotnasa · Jan 13, 2010, 05:05 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

You're welcome.
Keep us updated.

I will

sotnasa · Jan 14, 2010, 05:28 PM

I been doing the NC for 2 day. Yesterday she FB , texted and called me 3 times. I didn't answer her as everyone advised me. However she left me a voice mail that got me angry. Basically she talked as if we still were in a relationship. Asked how my day was, that she missed me and how her bed was cold without me. Then she finished with a "I am sorry for me wanting to have that new feeling of meeting a new guy. I am still young and I want to enjoy this before I get to old. But I still want you and I love you very much"

I don't know what to think. She also deleted me off her Facebook.

sotnasa · Jan 14, 2010, 07:15 PM

I don't know what to do. Kowing that she is confused and might come back gives me hope. And this hope is killing me. Making things worse. As right I feel like she is not right for me but I want her back so bad.

A4Effort · Jan 14, 2010, 07:53 PM

Those feelings are very understandable at this point in time but please make sure you resist those feelings. She is basically telling you that you are her fall back guy. If she doesn't find anyone else she will run right back to you. She even deleted you off Facebook which tells me that she is moving on.

Take this time to work on yourself. Pick up a new hobby, meet new friends, or just keep busy. Do not break contact at any cost.

Check the stickies up top. If you feel any urge to contact her, come on this site instead and just write in this thread.

With each day you will become stronger and your feelings will diminish. Good luck!

CanIBuyAClue · Jan 14, 2010, 09:47 PM

NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT, NO CONTACT for the win! Whatever you do, do not talk to this girl. If she still loved you and wanted to be with you SHE WOULD BE. She is trying to play you for a fool, and stringing you along because she knows you still have feelings for her. Be the bigger man and DISAPPEAR FROM HER LIFE. Like others have said, you have become the fallback guy. She is probably pursuing 'party guy' and if that doesn't work out she'll come crying back to you. Go find somebody that will actually appreciate all of the good stuff you do for them, and not somebody who breaks up after 1.5 years because of some guy at a party. Later skank!

sotnasa · Jan 14, 2010, 11:00 PM

I know that's what I been doing. However I just don't understand how in just a week she went from wanting to be with me to not wanting to be with me and not loving me anymore. That's what is sucks. It seemed everything was perfect.

A4Effort · Jan 14, 2010, 11:07 PM

She had time to think this over and emotionally detach herself from the relationship. You did not expect this coming at all hence why you are shocked. She on the other hand knew it was coming and prepared herself.

sotnasa · Jan 14, 2010, 11:22 PM

All right. Well Ill keep you guys posted as time passes.

amicon · Jan 14, 2010, 11:30 PM

Make sure you keep busy and get out and do things.
It hurts now,but it will get better,day by day.

CanIBuyAClue · Jan 14, 2010, 11:49 PM

Yep as the others have said just stay busy and do your own thing. It sucks, but feelings can change just like that, and others are most likely right that is something that she was mulling over for a while. I know the feeling trust me, my ex went from talking about marriage to breaking up with me 2-3 weeks later over our first ever MINOR argument. Do yourself a favor and get out now man, I delayed my healing by two months by falling into the ex's "confusion" bit. But when all was said and done she thought her life was worse off with me in it. So you know what you do then? DISAPPEAR. Work on bettering yourself in every other aspect of your life. You don't need a girl to make you feel happy.