[The Pony Keg]

I met this girl in college; she was in one of my classes. She sat next to me every day. I never liked her at all, never had feelings for her. I knew from square one she had a boyfriend and that she was happy with him. One day her boyfriend called me from her phone and told me to leave her alone and to stop talking to her. I told him, we were only friends, so you have nothing to worry about. But he kept at it, and kept trying to intimidate me, I never had any intentions of liking this girl. I told him he was making a fool out of himself and he needs to stop. His g/f (My love interest) told me the next day how furious she was at him because he was having trust issues with me and her being friends and also that he took her phone. Ever since then I have been having more and more feelings for her every time we talk. There was a point when I just stopped talking to her because I felt it was a waste of time, because she could never hang out because of how jealous her boyfriend was getting, she tells him everything. She calls me and texts me all the time telling me how she misses me and that she thinks about me all the time. Well last week I went out for a friend’s birthday, an awesome celebration. I invited her; she came (Because her boyfriend was out of town). I went and picked her up so she did not have to drive and I guess while we were out her b/f found out and was upset, so she was going to take a cab home. She became extremely drunk and was dancing with me and she kept moving my hands to parts of her body and I kept taking them off every time she did, I even kept pulling her skirt down so no one could see her undies. But before she became that drunk we had a heart to heart, she told me she thinks about me all the time and wonders if she has a crush. I simply replied to her that she meant a lot to me and that she was not just "some girl" to me. Basically throughout the night she kept kissing me, even when she was not drunk, and I would kiss for a second and had to pull back. I was not trying to take advantage of her at all, she means too much to me. So basically it came down to the fact that she was too drunk to get home safely with her friend who was also drunk in a cab. I did not feel comfortable leaving her so I elected to take her home myself. Her friend and her decided they did not want to go home because of some reason and I told her I have a spare room where her and her friend can sleep, I reiterated multiple times I was not going to try anything with her, even if she wanted me too. Basically she ended up spending the night with me in my bed, we cuddled, kissed a bit, as it was extremely hard not to. She wanted to have sex and I said no, I was proud of myself, because it did not go that far, until morning. She fell asleep in my arms, and I could not sleep, I just starred at her while she did, pulling her hair back when it fell in her face, kissed her on the forehead. Things were going well, and I think while I just watched her sleep that I realized, I think I am in love. But I did not want to be that other guy, eventually after I fell asleep for a little bit I woke up with her touching me. By that time she was not drunk anymore as she slept it off. Basically a few things led to another, but yet we still did not have sex, I made sure of that. We just fooled around a little bit, it’s hard to say no to a girl can't stop thinking about. For once in my life my body is just flooded with emotion when I think of her and I actually like someone not based on their looks, even though she is beautiful. I fell in love with her personality. She ended up telling her b/f after I took her home and called me to tell me he was mad at her, and that she does not know if I and she should talk anymore. I told her that I would not take anything back that happened last night, because of what I did, I made sure she made it home safe and that is all that matters. So if our relationship is over because of that then so be it, her safety means a lot to me and it is a sacrifice I am willing to make because of how much she means to me. We are still talking. I wonder if she told her b/f wanting him to break up with her. I do not know. But I do not want to be that other guy and I do honestly feel bad because of what happened. I have morals and I know I would not want her doing anything with anyone if she was mine, even now that she is not mine I don't want her too. But what do I do? Do I wait to see if they break up? Do I wait to find out if she will stop talking to me? Or do I make the first move and just tell her how I feel, she knows how I feel but there is so much more to it than that. We were friends before hand and I think that's the reason I fell for her. What do I do, I want to be with her, but I want to make sure she’s happy the same time. She means a lot to me, and for once in my life that's not a lie, it’s the truth. Advice?

[talaniman]

I have morals and I know I would not want her doing anything with anyone if she was mine, even now that she is not mine I don't want her too.

You say you have morals but you give her every chance to cheat! And she did!!

But what do I do?

Back away from this situation and leave her and her boyfriend alone.

Do I wait to see if they break up?

No, you leave her and her boyfriend alone. This is really none of your business.

Do I wait to find out if she will stop talking to me?

YOU STOP TALKING TO HER.

Or do I make the first move and just tell her how I feel, she knows how I feel but there is so much more to it than that.

Where did your morals go? She has a boyfriend!

We were friends before hand and I think that's the reason I fell for her. What do I do,

Get the freak out of her business and get some of your own.

I want to be with her, but I want to make sure she's happy the same time. She means a lot to me, and for once in my life that's not a lie, it's the truth. Advice?

Then leave her alone to get her own act together, and be realistic here, do you think she will just jump from one guy to you and be happy without the time and space to heal?

What you are pushing for, is for her to drop him, and pick up on you. Doubt any good comes from that plan, and to be sure if she will cheat on him (and she has, with you), she will cheat on you also.

For sure you need to make a decision, based on the facts, and not just with feelings here pal, and so much for your morals, as you aren't listening to them either.

Bottom line, she has a boyfriend, so she is unavailable to be your girlfriend.

[The Pony Keg]

Threads merged for the last time, all others will be deleted if they are about the same subject.


OK so I have been told to stop talking to this girl, but do I tell her we shouldn't talk anymore, or should I just ignore her when she texts me. I do not want to be mean to her as she means a lot to me. But she has a boyfriend and is unavailable. So should I let her know I don't think we should talk anymore? Or wait for her to tell me?

[davett]

Just don't respond, keep ignoring her contacts. Don't let her head fook you. Delete her number if you don't trust yourself. Why are you worried about being mean to her when she dumped you and messed up your head. You have to be selfish and think what's best for you to heal and move on. She has a boyfriend and like you say is unavailable. Sometime down the line you might be friends but the priority at the moment is to move on.

[Fr_Chuck]

But I would tell her basically that as long as she has a boyfriend it is not right to keep texting and talking and that you are going to not respond till then.
Let her decide what she wants to do

[I wish]

The girl has a boyfriend. She's off limits. Furthermore, she cheated on her boyfriend with the OP. So she can't be trusted.

You're just torturing yourself. Let her go and find someone else who's not taken and not a cheater.

[chuff]

Prediction... Threads soon to be merged.

She's got a boyfriend so leave her alone.

To answer your second question don't talk to her, you've already done your damage.

[Fr_Chuck]

Don't start new threads, just add to your original thread by "answering it)

You will not get better answers, in fact people will stop helping you if you keep asking the same question

[Catsmine]

Pony, the only contact you should have with this girl for the next SIX MONTHS needs to be classroom related. Be very formal.

You need space to find out if she was using you to make the boyfriend jealous or if she has feelings for you. If she dumps the boyfriend and comes to you 6 months from now you can deal with her cheating then.

[talaniman]

OK so I have been told to stop talking to this girl, but do I tell her we shouldn't talk anymore, or should I just ignore her when she texts me. I do not want to be mean to her as she means a lot to me. But she has a bf and is unavailable. So should I let her know I don't think we should talk anymore? Or wait for her to tell me?

Why can't you just tell her to go be with her boyfriend, and stop leading you on? She may be PO'd at you, but so what? That's what her boyfriend is for, a shoulder to cry on. NOT YOU! :eek:

[chuff]

Prediction.............Threads soon to be merged.

Thank you, Thank you.

[thewiseoldwoman]

Stop talking to her unless you want to be miserable. She has proved herself and though you 'feel' you're in love with her at the moment, I think it's something else. You think she's cute and needs you. Girlfriend material ladies don't need guys to keep their skirts pulled down and their panties covered for them. They don't go out and initiate inappropriate physical (sexual)contact with a man who is not their partner, etc.

[jmjoseph]

How would you like it if she WERE your girl, and someone like YOU were trying to horn in on her? Wouldn't like it much ? Huh? Back off, she's not yours. Find your own girlfriend. If you indeed do have morals, leave this man's lady alone. Anyway, I've said it once, I'll say it again, if they'll cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you. The world is full of single women to date. This girl is not available, don't try coming off as a " Prince Valiant, lord of morals". Sorry YOU asked dude. Good luck.

[Triysle]

I was in your situation, and I just have one piece of advice for you -

You lose them the same way you get them. ;)

~ Tee

[TroubledNiceGuy]

I have the same situation here. We both have known each other for 2 years and we never really hung out until the beginning of Grade 10. (we're both in high school) We'd occasionally hang out with each other and a friend of mine and just goof around. Then one week I went to niagra falls and I Started to skype with her and such, even late throughout the night. Then one of our conversations went into relationships (she had a boyfriend, whom things were not going well with) and I said that I was kind of wishing for a girlfriend and she said that I'd find someone I'd like eventually. Right then and there I said that I had really liked her for a while but she's my friend and I didn't want to ruin anything with her boyfriend. She said that she'd noticed recently that I liked her. Long story short, that whole week I was away I kept talking to her and saying wonderful things about her, and she loved every minute of it. She thought I was sweet and nice and talented and she said that she was really starting to feel more for me than she did for her current boyfriend. (She wasn't feeling for me only after I told her, she did before that) So basically after the week was over and I came home we couldn't wait to see each other. We hung out together like normal until one day where my friend had to leave early and it was just us there. I was playing guitar. She was lying on my bed and said it was very comfy, and that she loved my guitar playing. I sat on the bed and just played for a while, then she fell asleep. I was tired too, and I fell asleep on the same bed. We woke up and just looked at each other, and that's where everything just came together, we both knew we felt strongly about one another, but I knew that I couldn't do anything with her because she currently had a boyfriend and I didn't want to hurt him. So we just slept there sort of cuddling (held our hands, arms around each other) and slept for a good 4 hours. Now her boyfriend found out about this (he knows how to get information out of her, she can't lie to anyone) and he's upset. He's also really suicidal since his life has not been the greatest. He also said that she is the only thing in his life and that he would probably end himself if she were to leave. So now we're in a situation where she loves me and wants to be with me but can't because she feels guilty to her current boyfriend. She's really stressed out, I just want her to be happy and I know she would be with me but her boyfriend's blood would be on our hands if she left him. I need some advice, I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to hurt anyone