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maria16 · May 7, 2008, 09:58 PM

Have you ever realized one day, be it via a slow progression or sudden moment (or a little of both), that you are falling for a friend?
I seem to be in this situation, and am not sure what to do... I think the feelings are mutual but am not sure- and I don't want to ruin the friendship-
Any advice?

talaniman · May 7, 2008, 11:06 PM

Keep the friendship. Relationships are very risky, and you end up losing a friend and a partner. Its so natural to be highly attracted to a friend.

Mom of 2 · May 8, 2008, 12:24 AM

I agree. Romance has a tendency to change a friendship and if things don't work out, the friendship is never the same.

maria16 · May 9, 2008, 05:57 AM

Well... despite your advice I kind of hinted to him for us to have an outing, just the two of us without our usual group of mates. This was yesterday, and I still haven't heard back from him... am getting nervous, not sure if I came on too strong (although it wasn't, really) or if I scared him off. I know he's been super busy, so am not sure if I'm getting paranoid for no reason- we haven't really been friends that long, so we don't know each other that well... but I hope I didn't mess things up

450donn · May 9, 2008, 06:31 AM

Sort of depends on how far you want this to go? Are you considering him as in marriage or just dating? My personal feelings are:
Friends first
Then dating/marriage
Then sex

maria16 · May 9, 2008, 06:49 AM

I think I'm really falling for him, interested in the more long term possibility- too soon to consider marriage, but nothing casual either.

But that's getting ahead of myself- he hasn't even responded to my email yet- I think I'm being very impatient... am worried I came on too strong so I am stopping contact until I hear from him-

JBeaucaire · May 9, 2008, 03:12 PM

EMAIL? You didn't do that! Made a "first move" in an EMAIL?

Dear, get on the ball. Get over there right now and face to face him. You have no idea how an email will be received. It carries none of your tone or expression or delivery... it's just cold scary words on a computer screen... oh my!

Get over there and clean this up! Get your friend back at all costs, and if he turns out to be receptive to some dating, fine, but do all THAT communication with your voice.

email... text messages... (bangs head on desk in frustration)

nova225 · May 9, 2008, 05:42 PM

I feel that everyone should start as friends before they start a relationship. If you and your friend are mature enough to start something new I say GO FOR IT!! If it doesn't work out... hopefully you guys are mature enough to let your friendship come out on top. If this person is a real and true friend the love you guys share will keep you together whether it's a romantic relationship or platonic relationship. :)

If you don't ever tell him how you feel; you'll always regret not having him in your life as more than just a friend.

DeannaM · May 9, 2008, 05:49 PM

I may not know much on love but I do know what love or (feelings) feel like.all the advice I can give you is... don't rush yourself into a relationship.if its meant to be between the both of you then it will have a way of working out for itself.:p I hope the best for you...

maria16 · May 9, 2008, 06:43 PM

Thank you for all the help. Yes yes I know the email no-no, but it was really the only communication available the last few days- (and it wasn't like I wrote "you're the love of my life let's hang out")
But in any case: little update: (thank you deannam, yes I need to be more patient and stop rushing). He called me back, we're going for dinner. We'll see what happens- no getting carried away...

wezziebabii28 · May 11, 2008, 06:12 PM

Honey believe me your best friend feels for you all you got to do is tell him I don't want nothing to change it been on my mind for so long now that I have to tell you (I really like you and I want to no if you like me) that's it anf see how he reacts