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pisceskerri · Oct 20, 2007, 03:56 PM

This might sound silly but I really don't know what to do, me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. We get on great, everything is going good we have been through a lot together and he is always there for me and treats me like a princess. The only thing is he doesn't love me he has never told me he loves me. He shows me he loves me because he totally respects me and always puts me first. The other night I asked him if he loved me and he was trying to avoid the answer but eventually after a lot of persuding he told me he doesn't love me but why is this? He said he felt pressured but after all this time he should be able to tell me how he feels I love him and told him this but didn't seem to make a diffrence. He has spoke about the future with me and everyone tells me he loves me including his mother and friends but he obviously doesn't so what do I do ? Any answers to this would help me I need advice what do I do thanks :)

losingtrust · Oct 20, 2007, 04:18 PM

If you have been together this long and he says he doesn't love you, then I honestly think you need to move on. When you say you have been dating, do you mean going out, going to family functions, monogamous dating? Or do you guys have a casual thing? If you think you two are serious and still he doesn't love you, then he probably never will. I am sorry. You should be with someone that loves you. If you think he does and he says he doesn't, then he must be afraid of commitment or something is stopping him from going forward. People that really love you don't want to hurt you and he must know that saying he doesn't love you would hurt you. Maybe if you live it will put his priorities in order.

pisceskerri · Oct 20, 2007, 04:35 PM

Me and him are dating yes it's a great relationship everything is perfect except that one thing I already told hi if he doesn't love me by now he never will but he says that isn't true I don't know if I should stick it out or not he was in the army and I think this has made him feel more vulnerable or something what do you think?

pisceskerri · Oct 20, 2007, 04:56 PM

This might sound silly but I really don't know what to do, me and my boyfriend have been dating for over a year now. We get on great, everything is going good we have been through a lot together and he is always there for me and treats me like a princess. The only thing is he doesn't love me he has never told me he loves me. He shows me he loves me because he totally respects me and always puts me first. The other night I asked him if he loved me and he was trying to avoid the answer but eventually after a lot of persuding he told me he doesn't love me but why is this? He said he felt pressured but after all this time he should be able to tell me how he feels I love him and told him this but didn't seem to make a diffrence. He has spoke about the future with me and everyone tells me he loves me including his mother and friends but he obviously doesn't so what do I do ? Any answers to this would help me I need advice what do I do thanks :)

N0help4u · Oct 20, 2007, 05:27 PM

Sometimes guys just don't know how to say things like I love you or show feelings or emotions. If he is serious that he doesn't love you maybe you should back away.
Maybe talk to him about how you don't see you in a future without being loved and you want to break up and see how he takes it. If he doesn't change his tune you were better off without him anyway.

pisceskerri · Oct 20, 2007, 06:06 PM

The thing is he shows me that he loves me and is such a nice guy but just can't tell me how he feels and I find this strange. His mum told me that he wouldn't play me along and that he is very deep. He was in the army for a long time and I think this may have something to do with how he finds it hard to say how he feels . Whenhe was in the army they are trained not to show weakness and he has told me that I am his weakness. When I confronted him about the whole not wanting to be with me he said surely bieng with you this long and wanting to move in with you in a few years counts for something? I'm still really confused though what you think? :confused:

N0help4u · Oct 20, 2007, 06:23 PM

He could really love you but it doesn't seem fair enough for him to say he doesn't and have you live your life with him saying he doesn't. If you are content with staying with him then the solution is DON'T ask any more.

pisceskerri · Oct 20, 2007, 06:32 PM

Its only when I asked its mayb he just isn't ready or something I was thinking that mayb when he says it that means that I'm the one he will spend his life with and maybe he just isn't sure if I am that one he has told me at the start that he has never been in love so maybe I just need to be patient do you think if he doesn't love me now that he never will? Because I feel that way :) thank you for taking the time to answer

losingtrust · Oct 22, 2007, 06:50 PM

I think that you guys are lonely and are settling for what is easy and comfortable. But there is different types of love and if he is good to you then stay with it. Make your intentions known. Don't let him waste your time though if he doesn't want what you want.

statictable · Oct 22, 2007, 07:28 PM

He may not believe in love or maybe he is questioning the concept of love and is still working on it. Does he believe in hate? Is there anything he hates like running out of gas on the A1A at 3:00 AM. Has he ever said I love ice cream or I love orange juice?

You describe a man who is dedicated to you and for some reason is not able to get "I love you" to come out of his mouth. I don't know how important the word is to be honest and looking at the things that have been done to others in the name of that word it becomes more complex. A man can say he loves you and at the same time pity you. A person can hear those words from their spouse one hour after that spouse betrayed them.

Try looking at other verbal clues and I bet you'll find that he loves you very much.

sweetsorrow · Oct 22, 2007, 08:11 PM

Hi pisceskerri,

You know, there could be a lot of reasons he hasn't said it yet. I don't think it's obvious that he doesn't love you because you say he treats you like a princess, which I would personally take as he does care about you. Maybe he told you that he didn't love you because you were pushing the matter? Don't try to make him say it because if you do when he actually does say it, it will probably be forced and untrue. And that's a lot worse than not hearing it at all.

One thing is that, maybe saying 'i love you' is a really big step to him, one that he might not want to take just yet. I don't think that you should really worry about this, if both of you enjoy being together then be happy with that. If he's going to say it to you then he will when he is ready.

Hope that helps
:)

danni07 · Oct 25, 2007, 01:23 AM

This is weird because the same thing is happening in my relationship. We have been together for over a year, and he says he does not love me yet, but yet still he treats me so good and is a really nice guy. I love him but I don't know if to wait longer for him to love me back or take a break from him, because I'm starting to get stressed. I really don't know what to do? Do you think relationships need love to work? x:confused: :confused:

pisceskerri · Oct 25, 2007, 11:45 AM

Originally Posted by danni07

This is weird because the same thing is happening in my relationship. we have been together for over a year, and he says he does not love me yet, but yet still he treats me so good and is a really nice guy. i love him but i dont know if to wait longer for him to love me back or take a break from him, because im starting to get stressed. I really dont know what to do? Do you think relationships need love to work? x:confused: :confused:

Well at least we know how we are both feeling! :) I don't know if he is mayb looking at it as a big step what you think? The answer above is pretty good I think ^^ wb xxxx