[BossLove1]

I have really fallen in love with the wrong person. The worst part is I believe they feel the same way.

Yes, this person is my boss, and 20 years older than me. We have a lot in common, and both of us go out of our ways to spend time together. My boss left their marriage 12 months ago, and nothing has ever actually happened. Yet I go over there for dinner, and we laugh the night away drinking wine and just really enjoying each others company.

Besides the age difference, the main issue is that I am young enough to want marriage and family, yet my boss has already done all of this. In fact their children are very close to my age.

Neither of us have actually said how we feel, yet many people at work make comments because they notice how close we are. There are so many little "comments", or moments when our eyes lock and we can't pull away. Or touching hands handing over a phone or pen for example. There is flirting and trying to impress each other. But it's all really a dead end.

How could things possibly work? And is this just something for me with a crush on a "power" figure, and them for the ego boost of a younger love. I'm just very lost over it all, and can't get my boss out of my mind. I think maybe I should avoid any contact with my boss unless it is a must for work, but I can't stay away. They also come to visit me in the office if it has been a while since we have seen each other. How can I deal with this situation??

[azif]

If you value your job then keep your relationship strictly professional

[I wish]

Office romance can have very unfortunate consequences if not done carefully. Are you prepared to change jobs over this relationship?

Furthermore, regardless of his "boss" title over you, he's got a lot of baggage. He will always be connected to his children. This baggage can cause you a lot of unnecessary drama.

If you're prepared to face the possibilities listed above, then go ahead.

[jmw0713]

Yea, I'm a proponent of not forming romantic relationships with people that work directly with you. Now if this guy worked for another department, and you didn't deal directly with him on a regular basis, than that would be OK. However, forging a romantic relationship with your boss is a no go. Not only would you eventually draw the ire of your coworkers, but if your relationship went down, your job might too.

I met my ex at work. She worked in a different department than me, so we didn't answer to the same person, or work in the same area. It worked quite well. However, if things happened the way they did just recently, and we still worked together... That would be a whole different story.

[Cat1864]

How old are you?

He 'left his marriage'. That sounds like he is separated not necessarily getting divorced. Is there even a slight possibility that he could reconcile with his wife?

Currently, if I read your post correctly, you are having an emotional affair with him. Unless he is legally separated, that could get you branded as the other woman and a home-wrecker.

The problems with dating your boss have already been stated. One more question on that subject, does your company have any regulations about dating subordinates or co-workers?

You both seem caught up in the romance of the courtship and the spice of the not-quite socially correct relationship. I would concerned that a good friendship might be mistaken as something stronger just because of the semi-illicit nature of circumstances.

[BossLove1]

Thanks All. I think Cat really hit the nail on the head. I think we are both caught up in this because of the nature of it all and both being lonely. We are very good friends and always have been even while we both had partners, so I would hate to spoil that more than anything. I suppose sometimes friendship can seem more than it is when you have been on your own for a long time.

[Cat1864]

Opposite sex friendships are tricky to recognize because we are wired to think more about romance or sex between males and females. However, they can be just as strong and enduring as a same sex friendship.

I hope you both heal from your respective past relationships and when you are ready find new mates who can accept and be a part of this friendship.

[livanos]

I don't think it is wrong to be emotionally involved with your boss, especially if he's separated.
However, I would be concerned about the fact that he doesn't take it any further. If he would seriously wanted to progress the relationship, he would try to make it more serious and even commit. Since he hasn't done that you should not waste your emotions for him. Possibly, try and date other people and that would wake him wake up ( if he loves you) and commit with you, at the same time you extend your possibilities.