|
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 09:27 AM
|
|
So when does a female become a girlfriend and is a great thing to be friends first?
I have been seeing this man for 2 months now. Great guy-we have a lot in common, get along well.we do a lot for one another,same morals and values See each other 1 time per week, he calls me 2-3 times perday-we talk for hours, more when we both have time. We are both 49(I divorced, he never married) I was told by my counselor to be patient with him as he has never been in a commitment. We are still getting to know each other, no sex yet(but heavy petting and great kissing,touching and cuddling in bed), as we both want to know each other more. Nice for a change. I am kind of stumped by this. He said while on the phone with me(he was out with the guys at a bar) He said I am not here to pick up anyone as they are, "I have you. When people ask me if I have a girlfriend I say no, but I am committed to you and would never cheat on you" I told him I have you and no cheating on you and I am committed to you". I imagine that's a guy thing to not want to admit to having a girlfriend. So I guess beings we are friends that means we are on the way to more. They say friends then a relationship. Most of my frinds say they were friends before their relationship. He seems to like me, I get that feeling from him, but when does a guy admit you're his girlfriend or do I ask? Don't want to rock the boat and I should be patient when I have a good thing. Any advice.
|
|
|
New Member
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 10:00 AM
|
|
I would just sit down and have a heart to heart with him. Honesty is always best and since this is bothering you it is something you need to address with him. Just put it to him as you did us. Speak from the heart without making him feel that you are pressuring him for anything. Hope it helps
|
|
|
New Member
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 10:29 AM
|
|
Yes I agree to the same.an honest clear discussion helps a lot. But never pressurize anyone.
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 03:48 PM
|
|
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...at-364456.html
Is this the guy?
After only two months, I would just relax, and keep having fun getting to know him. What's the hurry? There is none, but let things develop as friend for a few months, and see if he really wants what you want, THEN, and only then, can you discuss being exclusive, and being committed.
He has been married before, so he knows what a commitment is, but may be moving to fast, you two to be honest, instead of building a solid foundation of friendship, before you jump into a relationship. Trust me, there is a lot more for you to learn about each other, so have fun doing it.
If this is the same guy, reread what I posted in that earlier thread.
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 05:52 PM
|
|
No he is not the same guy. He is a super guy-no baggage finally. Has never been married himself. So I a trying to go slow and enjoy it. But was just curious. No rush for me-can't be. Just being hones as he is with me and bing a good friend, at least I seems we are friends as we are getting to know one another. So patience finally for me and enjoyment too. Thanks
|
|
|
Uber Member
|
|
Aug 19, 2009, 05:56 PM
|
|
Yeah take it slow and enjoy where you are now. The problem with relationships now is that people want everything instant and convenient then it doesn't work in the long run.
|
|
|
Senior Member
|
|
Aug 20, 2009, 06:29 AM
|
|
Originally Posted by packer04
No he is not the same guy. He is a super guy-no baggage finally. Has never been married himself. So I a trying to go slow and enjoy it. But was just curious. No rush for me-can't be. Just being hones as he is with me and bing a good friend, at least i seems we are friends as we are getting to know one another. So patience finally for me and enjoyment too. Thanks
Both of these guys were 49 and never married?
|
|
|
Junior Member
|
|
Aug 22, 2009, 12:48 PM
|
|
Yes the other guy was 49 now 50 never married. This man is 49 never married but lived with someone for years. So I am just enjoying myself and being patient. But was just wondering if guys and gals should be friends first and how does a guy look at the girlfriend issue. Or is a gal his girlfriend and she should know it.(being married for 26 years I never had an opportunity to date at all. So now I need some advice about that. Thanks
|
|
|
Emotional Health Expert
|
|
Aug 22, 2009, 01:19 PM
|
|
I don't know the difference between a 'committed relationship' and being, 'boyfriend and girlfriend'. Both imply a foundation of two people going forward together, not seeing or looking for anyone else.
I guess it is in how you look at it. You can't be in a 'committed relationship' with this man, without being 'boyfriend and girlfriend'.
I'd say for arguments sake, ask him if he thinks there is a difference between the two.
It seems pretty exclusive to me.
Maybe not a great idea to get so hung up on the definitions, and what it means to him, or to you.
While two months is a short time to really know somebody, trust your instinct, but be careful.
Everything else will fall into place if it was meant to be.
|
|
|
Expert
|
|
Aug 22, 2009, 01:21 PM
|
|
Your dating, and having fun, and there will be a time to talk about more. Until then, keep your life balanced with other things, until you know each other well enough to know how he feels about a relationship, and how to best go about one.
Its so easy to get attached when you only focus on one person, and have strong feelings for them. Its natural to want more, and even see it being more, but let time make things clear, before you give someone your heart.
Things have a tendency to change after a while, so stay flexible, and balanced, and don't invest more than you can lose. (don't get carried away).
|
|
Question Tools |
Search this Question |
|
|
Add your answer here.
Check out some similar questions!
Is it OK for my boyfriend to hang out with his female friends?
[ 10 Answers ]
My boyfriend likes to hang out with his female friends and I don't like that. I myself have stopped hanging out with my male friends. I haven't mentioned to him that it makes me uncomfortable when he goes out with his female friends. In my point of view it is not healthy because through time his...
Jealous over his ex and his female friends
[ 3 Answers ]
Ok, I KNOW I am being ridiculous. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. His ex is French (something that bothers me in it self cause of the whole glamourous stereotype about french women)- they broke up 2 years ago, were together for 3 years. She has NOT re-entered the picture, so its...
Why does my boyfriend like to hang with female friends without me?
[ 11 Answers ]
My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months now. I am 24 and he is 25. I met him online on a dating site and things have been great. The only problem I seem to have is every so often he wants to hang out with a female friend or so and tells me if he goes he's going alone. This has yet to...
BEAUtiful male great dane needs a female to breed with
[ 2 Answers ]
I have a pure breed, certified great dane male that I would love to stud out to a good female. I plan to have him fixed eventually and would like to " spread his seed" before I do so. He is brindle and very big . He is only 17 months and already weighs 140lbs and is supposed to get bigger, his dad...
Do you guy have female friends that are just friend?
[ 5 Answers ]
My boyfriend decided he wanted to start hanging out with his female friend that he has known since 3rd grade, should I be worried? He also talks to to his ex-girlfriends all the time. I am very insecure about this because the girl that he wants to hang out with is really beautiful and skinny, I'm...
View more questions
Search
|