I work at a gym and this girl was hired a few months ago and that's how I met her, we don't generally work the same hours though. We immediately hit it off, but the thing is she has a boyfriend (I didn't find this out until a few weeks later) who lives a few hours away and she hardly ever sees him.

Since I met her at the beginning of the year we talk on the phone for 1-2 hours just about everyday (friendzone?). She calls me when she wakes up to go to class and right before she goes to sleep, and she usually falls asleep on the phone with me. She also texts me throughout the day. In this entire time I've known her I have never called her. She is the one that initiates everything. We also hang out probably 4 or 5 times a week for about 3 or 4 hours a day. We usually get lunch, do random crap, or she invites me over to her house just to come be with her.

This girl is giving me all the signs that I look for to see if a girl is interested in me. She touches me all the time, rubs her hand down my back, rubs her hands through my hair, gives me massages, brings me lunch, and all the other signs in that stickied thread. She tells me how good looking I am all the time, and she says stuff like if we get drunk together we are going to hook up. I honestly feel like we are boyfriend/girlfriend in private and in public, in everything but name and sex.

She does talk to me about her boyfriend though which does give me the friend zone vibe. She talks about how ty he is, how she thinks he's cheating on her, etc. Her friends and sister also tell me the same about how he's horrible, and how they wish me and her were together. She also apparently talks to her boyfriend about me because sometimes she mentions to me how jealous he is of me. Random people tell us we are a cute couple but we just laugh.

Anyway, I haven't made a move on her only for the fact that she has a boyfriend. I honestly have no idea what to do. Should I make a move on her, tell her how I feel, or just wait for when/if she and her boyfriend break up.

You stay friends with your co worker, and if it's a woman of your own you want, go get one.

She needs a shoulder to cry on. That's all! Don't ruin a friendship by inserting yourself into her life as more than a friend. It will make your work place a very uncomfortable atmosphere.:rolleyes:

She has a boyfriend=off limits.

She's also emotionally cheating on her boyfriend when she encourages this friendship with you.

Back off and keep this a friends at work only relationship.

Leave the woman alone!

She already has a boyfriend, so don't pursue a relationship with her at this time.

For now just conisder yourself to be her "work-friend".

I agree that you should back off on her.

She is hurting in her relationship, and she is getting the things from you that she wishes she could have with him.
She might not even realize that she's doing it, but she needs to break things off with him before you two can think about becoming a couple at all, and she needs time to heal.

I think you should talk to her about how you don't think that it's a good idea that you two interact the way you do when she has a boyfriend. Tell her that she's confusing you with her signals, because she has a boyfriend, and you feel like maybe it's not a good idea.

Explain to her why, tell her that even though you don't know the guy and she says he's horrible, you think that what is going on is disrespecting the relationship.

I mean, say all that if you mean it. The most important thing is that you stay honest, and don't do something you wouldn't like another person doing.

Just imagine how her boyfriend feels in this situation? You're hours away from myour girlfriend and she is all over another guy that she says she's just friends with. Would you trust that or be comfortable with it?

Also, imagine if you were looking from the outside. Pretend it's a friend of yours in your situation. What would you tell him? I hope you would tell him that the right thing to do is to leave her alone and wait until the two of them could have an honest relationship. You wouldn't want your friend to be a cheater would you? You don't want to be a cheater do you? Because that's what you would turn in to if you messed around with this girl when she has a boyfriend, you'd BOTH be cheating, because she is the one in the relationship and you know about it.

So do what you think is morally honest.

It's situations where your values and your temptations like to battle, and of course, if you're not conscious of your values then you could give in to temptation and not feel that great about it later on. So think seriously about the concequences.

If you want to talk to her about something, make sure you talk to her about the RIGHT thing.

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Originally Posted by ohsohappy

I agree that you should back off on her.

She is hurting in her relationship, and she is getting the things from you that she wishes she could have with him.
She might not even realize that she's doing it, but she needs to break things off with him before you two can think about becoming a couple at all, and she needs time to heal.

I think you should talk to her about how you don't think that it's a good idea that you two interact the way you do when she has a boyfriend. Tell her that she's confusing you with her signals, because she has a boyfriend, and you feel like maybe it's not a good idea.

Explain to her why, tell her that even though you don't know the guy and she says he's horrible, you think that what is going on is disrespecting the relationship.

I mean, say all that if you mean it. the most important thing is that you stay honest, and don't do something you wouldn't like another person doing.

Just imagine how her boyfriend feels in this situation? You're hours away from myour girlfriend and she is all over another guy that she says she's just friends with. Would you trust that or be comfortable with it?

Also, imagine if you were looking from the outside. Pretend it's a friend of yours in your situation. What would you tell him? I hope you would tell him that the right thing to do is to leave her alone and wait until the two of them could have an honest relationship. You wouldn't want your friend to be a cheater would you? You don't want to be a cheater do you? Because that's what you would turn in to if you messed around with this girl when she has a boyfriend, you'd BOTH be cheating, because she is the one in the relationship and you know about it.

So do what you think is morally honest.

It's situations where your values and your temptations like to battle, and of course, if you're not concious of your values then you could give in to temptation and not feel that great about it later on. So think seriously about the concequences.

If you want to talk to her about something, make sure you talk to her about the RIGHT thing.

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You are right!

I think she is interested in you , but maybe she is doing all this because she is not feeling okay with her boyfriend, m opinion is to stay away for a while, till you discover what is this all about