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i been seeing this guy for almost 6 months now but i have one problem: HE IS MARRIED!!!! when i first met him in late may early june he was seperated from his wife everything was going great until september when they deceided to get back together. we still see each other on the side and we truly love each other we talk every single day. we are both into church, he is a deacon and he knows the word of GOD better than i do. the selfish side of me wants him to divorce the , but the chrisitan side of me wants him to try and work it out with her.... i leaning more towards my selfish side. somebody help me, should i stick around and be his mistress/side chick or should i just leave him alone
He most love his wife more or he would be with you if you were everything to him.
The only thing you can and should AND NEED to do is get away from him, stay out of his life. IF one day he leaves her for some OTHER reason and it is obvious they are not going to try and work it out then MAYBE you can have your chance with him. Otherwise, in the meantime, go find your own guy that you can love as much or more and get on with your life. Since he is a deacon and KNOWS the Bible ask him what the Bible says about cheating on your spouse.
The church doesn't need a *scandal* either!
He is a Deacon and knows the Word of God better than you do and yet he violates that Word by sneaking around with you. That guy is a piece of trash. If his church board knew, he would not be a Deacon.
Think about this - he cheats with you, not just on his wife but also on his religious beliefs. A real "Mr. Christian" isn't he? And what does that make you?
You have to know that waiting around for this guy to divorce his wife is going to be an eternal wait. He has tooooooooooooooo much to lose by getting a divorce. His family, his position in the church and community, his name. Too bad he does not care enough about your reputation. So you need to care about yourself and separate yourself from him in all and total ways. NO contact of ANY kind. None whatsoever.
You need to leave this man alone. He is not available to you. You are positioning yourself where you are not wanted.
He is peddling lies left and right and you are helping him.
You can not possible feel good about this relationship when it has to be hidden. Put yourself first and find someone who commit to you 100%!!
OUOTE from ADEANNKC (PM) did i forget to mention that his wife is a drug addict!!!! i have never had anyone to treat me with the love and respect that he shows me even though we dont spend that much time together we love each other he says that i am the peace and sanity in his life and he feels that GOD sent me into his life. i really love this man and he loves me but i cant just turn my feelings off like a light switch and act like this never happened. i am stuck and i really dont want to let him go
It doesn't matter that his wife is a drug addict. That is not your business. He decided to stay for whatever reason (if he ever really left). He made his choice. It WAS NOT YOU!
He wants his cake and eat it to.
Noone is saying act as if it never happened. But, you need to put it behind you and move on.
Marriage is 2 people. A man and his wife. Not a man, his wife and his mistress.
Find someone who is 100% available. This man can never be yours. He never has been.
i know that i should leave and he talks to me more than he talks to his wife when you said that he didnt choose me if he didnt choose me then why is he talking to me more than his wife and spending all the time that he has free with me? when he goes home its usally late about 10 or 11 because he calls me 7,8,9,10 times a day EVERYDAY and when he gets off work he comes to see me so that when he goes home he can go straight to sleep so he wont have to deal with her.so what is that saying
You only know what he tells you and he tells you want he wants you to hear or wants you to think.
He goes home to HER. He chose to stay with HER. look at the facts. He may come to you for sex. I don't know. But when he decided to stay with his wife, he chose her over you. Plain and simple.
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