Should I keep seeing him?

HistorianChick · Mar 25, 2010, 09:06 AM

It is very good that he was honest with you. He could have led you on! He could have let you believe that he was interested in a relationship and you could have fallen in love with someone who was simply playing with your heart. That is an honest man.

He told you that he is not ready for a relationship, that he has things he wants to do, and that he has a different set of priorities that you do. If you cannot live with that, then I would suggest that you break your connection with him.

You won't change him.... And likewise, he won't change you. If you're ok with being just as you are, great! Then continue to see him, but know that you may be getting into an endless situation of your expectations vs. His dreams of grandeur.

There is nothing wrong with either of your opinions - and the fact that you are both being honest is a very mature aspect of your connection.

I commend both of you for being honest... Honesty doesn't happen much any more.

talaniman · Mar 26, 2010, 08:24 AM

Its only been a few months, so cope with your feelings, by keeping expectations real, and enjoy getting to know each other. That's what dating is about.

The only thing I would add is, that since your being honest about this, whether, or not this dating is exclusive, or not. A few months may be to soon for being exclusively dating, but knowing would let you know how to balance the other areas of your life with friends, and activities, beside being with him. It also establishes boundaries of what you think are good, and appropriate behavior, between you. That may save you both from getting too carried away, as you do your thing together.

Just something to think about as you proceed, and try to keep it real, and on the same page. Do it right and enjoy it, whatever it is. No hurry for titles, and fantasy, that comes much, much later.

king702 · Mar 28, 2010, 06:57 AM

Let me ask you something, what are you some of the things you guys do together?

The reason I am asking you that is because, I once "played" someone with similar "game", (i am not saying that he's playing you or he's running a game on you)...I am being completely honest, I made her feel like I was very determined, smart and really into my career when the truth was that I was only in it for the sex, yes, and that was all that we would ever do...

How much do you REALLY know about him? And can he prove the things he say? Does he sound like he's telling stories at times?

I use to make my life sound "Miserable" to get her sympathy, and I would always act TOO stressed around her, which would give me excuses to leave when I'm "done", those are some of the things compulsive liars often do...

Devorameira · Mar 30, 2010, 02:22 PM

You've asked him where the relationship is going and he's told you that he doesn't want a relationship right now.

If you still want a relationship with him you need to show him that you're not going to settle. I think he's mega-confident in your desire to be with him....he's seen all your cards in full view. He knows exactly what you're feeling and thinking and he knows you're there for him anytime he pleases.

Pulling back when he doesn't want a relationship is your way of saying it's not good enough. If you know that he really cares for you, he'll do whatever it takes to draw you closer again. Create some distance and appear a little disinterested in him.

If you have to walk away to get his attention, do it. Once he sees that you're not happy with the non-relationship status that he wants, he may reconsider getting more serious with you. If he doesn't, what do you really have to lose - a non-existent relationship?

Should I keep seeing him?

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