I met this girl about 3 years ago. She was dating a guy at the time but I became very close friends with her. I was in the army and was deployed about a year after meeting her. After I returned her relationship was shaky with her boyfriend. I then started to talk with her and get pretty close. All of a sudden she and her boyfriend started to get back together so i decided to leave her be for a while because I did not want to get in the way and have her do something she would regret in the future. Well about a month ago I finally managed to call and talk to her again and she since then has gotten pregnant with someone else and married him because of it. As I've talked with her, she seems to be very unhappy and only married because she was pushed into it by her parents because of the baby. She says she is going to leave him after she has the baby. What should I do? Tell her my true feelings and that I like her or just leave her be with her "husband"? I dont know what to do.

ChihuahuaMomma

Let her make up her own mind. Just be her friend.

JBeaucaire

Her life has become forever embroiled with her husband and his family. It's a forever thing. It's inappropriate for you to now dangle ANY carrots in front of her at all.

Put yourself in THEIR shoes. You got pregnant, got married and need to work your life out...how would you feel if your new wife's started getting courted by other men?

Don't do it. Character is what you DO, not what you feel.

slartiste

That is so true. Thank you for sharing that.

Fr_Chuck

And to add, she had boyfriend, did not have, went back, got pregnant, got married, again unhappy and so on. It sounds like a revolving door of in and out relationships, looking for something and not finding it.

slartiste

what if i'm what she's looking for. this guy is abusive and she probably will not stay with him long.

JBeaucaire

"what if'...yeah, what if? Not a great way to start life-affecting choices.

"I know these are the facts but can I ignore them because of my feelings?" No, you can't ignore the reality of the situations just because.

slartiste

yes, it's just hard because i like her so much but you all are right. i do need to think facts and not feelings, in this instance anyway.

ylaira

Just believe that shes really unhappy if she divorces him and woe you back. Keep yourself from her mess "for now" and dont be an accessory to an adultery. You wouldnt want your wife to be seduced by someone else either.

slartiste

true, ya theres no way i'd get involved with her still married haha i wouldnt do that her. ill just wait it out