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Relationship "Break" Help please

Asked Sep 10, 2011, 07:11 PM — 16 Answers
Well we went on a break about 2 weeks ago, we got in a fight and we had been fighting a lot that week. I was being a little jealous and controlling , although I didn't see that then I do now.

She told me we should go on a break because she can't think of anything else to do right now, I said "i don't want to go on a break" she said well I need space its all I can think of.


First week we spoke maybe one text a night, then it went to ever other night, she would say I love you and I miss you. Then she stopped writing back. 2 days ago from today, (being the second week of break) we spoke and she said she missed me a lot and loved me I said the same back



Then the next days she disappears again? What I'm not understanding is why we are still on a break if I've realized my mistake, apologized honestly, and we both love each other?


Last I asked her if I will get a chance to make it up to her she said soon I just can't now.



Im pretty confused, help?

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16 Answers
landomando's Avatar
landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 45
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#2

Sep 10, 2011, 07:29 PM
This is the exact same thing that has happened to me in my relationsip. We were fighting and I was getting jealous over stupid ****. I know breaking up sucks but it really helps you to see things differently. THis will only strengthen your relationship... And you said you were writing to her. Is this a long distance relationship?
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ineedhelplease's Avatar
ineedhelplease Posts: 13, Reputation: 5
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#3

Sep 10, 2011, 07:42 PM
Yeah it is newly a bit of a long distance relationship, I just kind of don't know what to do or expect ? As in should I just stop writing her and leave her alone? Is she still truly in love with me and trying to help fix this? I have realized my wrongs over the stupid jealousy **** , and would love to show that I have


I just can't really get her to snap out of the break stage and get back into it.. Though I know I can't rush her.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,677, Reputation: 50641
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#4

Sep 10, 2011, 09:05 PM


http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/...ml#post2889627

This is what you told another poster, and you made a few good points. My thinking is when they ask for space, or a break, give them what they ask for, disappear, and have fun doing your own thing.
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ineedhelplease's Avatar
ineedhelplease Posts: 13, Reputation: 5
Junior Member
  
#5

Sep 10, 2011, 09:32 PM
Lol true.. I need to give the space. I was thinking exactly that, while posted on the other posters question.. That I need to take my own advice.



I guess my question is more.. Will she be back. Then again as I told the other poster, I need to do my own thing do what they ask for and if they do come back then its meant to be that way.
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,677, Reputation: 50641
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#6

Sep 10, 2011, 09:45 PM


Hope for the best, prepare for the worse.
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ineedhelplease's Avatar
ineedhelplease Posts: 13, Reputation: 5
Junior Member
  
#7

Sep 11, 2011, 02:43 PM
Her signals? (relationship break)
Threads merged and edited to one post, for the entire situation in one place

I posted earlier, about how we went on a break after a fight. I've accepted that I need, well she needs to be given space. Left alone, and that's what I'm doing now finally.

Her signals though, last we did talk, indicate she totally loves me. I guess my question is, why the break if there's so much love and missing.

I made the mistake in the fight before, and it was a mistake I would say, I won't make but would continue to make. Is it that, I'm being put in my place in a sense?

I wasn't sure if I should add this on to my other post but I figure why not just make it less confusing and re post

Any advice is helpful
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,677, Reputation: 50641
Senior Family & People Expert
  
#8

Sep 11, 2011, 03:06 PM


Hard to tell if her signals are indeed mixed, or is it your perception of them. I would have to say for whatever reason, she is taking advantage of her space, and you are hoping she comes back soon, based on hope from your last contact. Questions and confusion has you thinking of her words, actions, and motives to much.

You need a useful, productive distraction from your own thoughts, as there is NO TELLING what's going through her mind, or what she is up to.

The thing about giving space, is you must get focused on taking your own space, or else you will dwell on things like her words, actions, and motives, to get any signal as to what she is thinking, feeling, or doing.

When you start to wonder about these things, then its a sign to stop thinking about her, and physically do something for yourself.

The longer you allow this thinking, the more you over think, and confuse yourself.
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ineedhelplease's Avatar
ineedhelplease Posts: 13, Reputation: 5
Junior Member
  
#9

Sep 11, 2011, 04:54 PM
This is true I do over think. Specially when it comes to her. Her signals .. To me I mean saying I love you, I wish to hold you , be near you, kiss you missing you so much those seem like signals of I'm into you

But then she goes away

Im becoming worried and the thought of being in the dark.. Is making me over think. I know you are right that I need to remove my mind from the subject, but as busy as my life gets it feels impossible.
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landomando's Avatar
landomando Posts: 43, Reputation: 45
Junior Member
  
#10

Sep 11, 2011, 10:32 PM
Since she still talks to you and you get that feeling that she loves you its seems like she's really just confused. And that she doesn't want to rush back into the relationship on a fear that you will keep making the same mistake. First don't text her. Don't talk to her write/whatever. Make her feel that your feelings for her are gone. Hopefully she will realize wow I really miss you and need you back into my life. If you keep talking to her she knows she has you. But if you stop she's Going to just want you back even more
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