I hope someone can help me. I posted a question about this same guy a few days ago. I am crazy about my this guy I've been dating, things had been going great I thought. We usually text every day and he has been coming up to see me a lot during the week and staying the whole weekend with me. In fact he was just here Tuesday night and we had a great night together. We have not been having any problems, and now I feel that he may be blowing me off. The last time he texted me was Wednesday morning, and I have not heard from him since! This is so unlike him, he has never done this before. I called him last night to make sure he was OK, and got voice mail. I really thought he cared for me, and that our relationship was growing. I'm so devastated that he is not talking to me, I feel sick. I don't know what I could have done to make him not want to talk to me. He is in the military and got back from Iraq a couple of months ago, and I know he is having issues at work. What should I do? I can't believe I have not heard from him in 3 days! So sad :(

Honestly, if you think he is blowing you off, then that is what it is. Don't waste your time on him. Its not work problems.I am a women and let me tell you I know men so well. If they are distant and don't communicate with you the way they used to , act a little different. That means there's someone else.

I'm a guy and am going through the same thing as you. I was seeing this girl and thought everything was great, spent the night at her place on Wednesday, got texts from her commenting on how great the night was, and then I got ignored for 4 days. Turns out, she thinks I want more than she does right now and she wants to be friends again. It hurt, it still hurts because I developed some feelings for her. But don't call him. Ignore him. It will suck, I know this. But trying to blame him not communicating with you on work is BS. If he really cared about you, problems at work would not prevent him from talking and seeing you. Sorry.

It's next to impossible for any of us to comment on him, we know nothing of him, his habits, mental state, opinion of you, nothing. But I can comment on your post. It's so hard to handle all the conflicting thoughts and desparities, isn't it? I read your other post too, so think I know where you're coming from. So, I'll take what you said and translate it into something I hope you'll find helpful.

I hope someone can help me. I posted a question about this same guy a few days ago.
Translation: Others have told me to calm down and enjoy my relationship, but I've decided to obsess anyway.

I am crazy about my this guy I've been dating, things had been going great I thought. We usually text every day and he has been coming up to see me alot during the week and staying the whole weekend with me. In fact he was just here Tuesday night and we had a great night together.
Translation: Things are going fine, but I'm going to obsess anyway.

We have not been having any problems, and now I feel that he may be blowing me off.
Translation: See, no problems = me thinking there are problems. (I wonder what the problem could be?)

The last time he texted me was wednesday morning, and I have not heard from him since!
Translation: I text too much, especially when I'm in obsession-mode.

This is so unlike him, he has never done this before...He is in the military and got back from Iraq a couple of months ago, and I know he is having issues at work.
Translation: Anything I don't like about his life way from me is probably going to send me into a frantic search across the internet for reassurance he still loves me. This is important to know since it won't matter later when I find out what was really going on and how it had nothing to do with me, because my freakouts give me cause to not be fair about that stuff.

I called him last night to make sure he was ok, and got voice mail. I really thought he cared for me, and that our relationship was growing.
Translation: Not having unfettered access to my man at all times is a sure sign of lack-of-love. Phone companies should be held accountable for the relationship damage they do allowing people to have voice mail services. It's just wrong.

I'm so devastated that he is not talking to me, I feel sick. I don't know what I could have done to make him not want to talk to me.
Translation: Not knowing if there is anything wrong in the first place, I've decided on my own to make sure that something IS wrong with us by the time he gets back to me. He hasn't given me any cause to distrust him or us or anything, but that's no excuse, he'll regret ever calling me again when I let him have it... that's my new goal.

What should I do? I can't believe I have not heard from him in 3 days! So sad
Translation: Don't you all all agree how awful it is?

RESPONSE
No, we don't agree. I'm going to pretend he's MY friend and talk to you like that's the case, OK?

• Get off his case.
• Don't you dare get angry/upset/lecturish/sad/despondent all on your own!
• Get a life of your own, now, today, obsess over that instead of this defenseless war hero.
• After developing life of your own, THEN consider letting someone call you GF. Apparently you can't handle it right now....at all.

I admit to being so straightforward that it can be perceived as harsh. But harsh is often very eye-opening. I'm not being mean, rude, offensive, abusive, I'm calling it clearly and cleanly as I see it in a way that I hope hits home and makes an impact.

That's the point to being here, isn't it? Consoling people over the internet is... well... pretty ineffective. Best to try and offer real help/insights and leave the consoling moments to the real people already in their physical world.

I've also been in the same situation and I know how you feel. Yet when stuff like that starts to happen its better for you to start backing away. When it happen to me, I didn't back away and it ended up worse. So do your thing and don't over obsess over a guy when there are way more out there! Wish you luck!

Wow, you must be so pleased with yourself for coming up with such eloquent, lovely, helpful remarks. Get over yourself. What in the F*** are you doing on this website anyway? There was no cause to post these remarks. You must be a shrewd and bitter gal that's all I can say. People come to this website for insight and advice. Oh you "opinion" was oh so helpful. Thanks. Much applause for your wonderful translations and insight.

Jesslyn,

Whether you like my creative approach to nudging you in the right direction or not, the translations are accurate based on your original post. If there is more information you can provide that indicate this man deserves the level of despair you displayed, then provide it. I took you at your word and responded as such.

If it is any help at all, here are the conclusions again without the creative intro - I believe they are still the info you need to hear:

==========
RESPONSE
Other than your own sense of "upsetness", you've given no indication there is actually any problem here at all. That is very worrisome. If this guy has done nothing more than been busy for the past week, you could be setting up a bad reunion soon and he won't even know he's done anything wrong... which seems he may not have done. So,

• Don't be so hard on him when he hasn't proven yet he deserves it
• Don't ever get angry/upset/lecturish/sad/despondent all on your own! Make sure there is actual communication going on leading UP to it. Since none is happening right now, it is just as reasonable for you to give him the benefit of the doubt and NOT get freaky upset.
• Work on yourself in the meantime. You can stop the obsessing over him by giving yourself something contructive to work on.
• It takes a lot of love to give people freedom to be themselves around you. Being a GF is even harder. We've all dated people who put us on the defensive all the time, and it is SO tiring and frustrating, especially when its undeserved. When you're comfortable in your own skin and aren't so needy that your guy has to report in all the time, your entire relationship benefits in wonderful ways.