Hi,

I have known my colleague for nearly a year and we have been very closed since we have first met. She is married and i have a steady girlfriend. We have been very closed ever since we have been doing the same projects. We used to have breakfast and lunch together and used to share a lot of common and personal stuffs. We are currently doing different projects and i miss a lot. She has told me that it is very bored over her place since I have left to a different project and we will chat through the internet from morning till evening.

I am not sure if she likes me cos she has never said she missed me eventhough i have said that to her to numerous time. But she will be excited to see me and she has worn the dress that i have compliment her during the last valentine day and when i meet her after a week. I am not sure if she just like my company or if she likes me as how i like her. I wanted to confess to her but afraid that she might turn me down. I would appreciate if you could give your sincere comments

manimuth

Confused,
When you spend a lot of time together, as colleagues do, its normal to sometimes develop feelings but there is more at stake here than just you and her. She is married!! You have a girlfriend but she is MARRIED and more committed than you are. Have you thought that maybe that was why she hasn't said she missed you...because it is inappropriate?
We may meet people or work with people that we really connect with and maybe develop feelings for but she is in a committed relationship so don't expect her to jump into your lap. If she is not happy in her marriage and is in fact interested in you, let her figure out what she wants but please don't pressure her because she may hate you at the end for ruining her marriage. So, please do the responsible thing and back off.

confused2007

Dear manimuth,

Thanks a lot for the awesome answer. I guess you are really right cos she is married and more committed than i am and therefore it is inappropriate for me to pursue, which could ruin her marriage. We met again last week for tea and she was wearing the the dress that i last compliment her. I did ask her that i would but her lunch but she smiled and said that we can go with few friends. I guess that shows that she does not want to commit herself although we have had lunch together many times.

As per your advice, I guess it is a norm to develop feelings with people at work. I guess she likes me but since she is married, she would like to remain as friend. Hence, I will comtinue chat with her but without any intentions and remain as her good friend.

Thanks again for the advice. It was a wake-up call for me as I was about to confess to her of my liking.

Regards,
Confused

texxxas

babe, you have a steady GIRLFRIEND and she is MARRIED, doesn't matter how she feels....