Hi, Am 18, 5-11 feet tall, a little bit fat and extremly shy - i never had a gf or kissed a girl..

I find it very hard to make a long conversation with people., i get to shy to even to talk to a friends gf..

i have lost a lot of confidence in the last few years - was in the hospital due to nimonia, in the icu for 11 days, had lot of skin problems - marks scars rashes etc.

All my friends seem full of confidence, and i feel so low.. i hate it when they pick on me, i just get so offended and again my confidence shoots down. ( specially around girls, they pick on me for everything

before anyone who dissed me, i would respond well and fast.. now the thoughts just dont come to my head.
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last few months i have been smoking pot to - now i dont feel like hanging with my friends when i smoke and i get into this deep thinking about myself on whats wrong with me ?

do i need professonal help ? am i deppressed ?
i really need help and guidence.
ty

redhed35

firstly i would think about getting fit and healthy,eating a well balanced diet and getting plenty of rest.

the second suggestion i have is give up the pot,it does not seem to be agreeing with you.

thirdly, i suggest you see your gp for a general check up and for you to express how you are feeling,perhaps some therapy will help.

lastly, confidence and self esteem dont come in the post,you have to try and you have to work on it,there are loads of self help books and as a starting point there is a sticky in the relationship thread on talking to girls and boosting your confidence.

amicon

Stop smoking pot-it sounds as if you're selfmedicating an underlying depression. Make an appointment with your doctor and talk to him/her about your situation.

Dramacydal

some better professional help please ?

jaime90

I agree with the posters above, and Dramacydal, they're not trying to get on you JUST about your health issues, smoking pot, etc. Doing these things will help you in any future relationship. Generally speaking, women LOVE to see a man who cares about himself. It doesn't mean you have to be a big, buff dude- it just means women like to see a man putting forth the effort, to be healthy and look good whether or not it's making huge differences. So, putting energy towards getting fit and taking care of yourself is a big turn-on.

Quitting weed, also falls under this category- that women like to see a guy with healthy habits. (I can relate a little here, after a year of being with my now fiance, he started to use chewing tobacco. I HATED it, but dealt with it. After a few months, he started to quit- he spent money on nicotine gum, and tried to stop dipping. I was so excited when he started using a can every week instead of a can every other day! Yeah, he was still chewing, but the progress he was making and the effort he put forth made him attractive to me- now he's quit altogether.)

Also, I wouldn't stress about not having a girlfriend or a first kiss. It's pressure that this culture will put on you. Focus on yourself instead of worrying about having a girlfriend. I know many happily married couples that were each other's one and only, and didn't meet until AFTER age 18. I also know a few who waited until age 18 or after for their first kiss, (me included!)
Wait for "the one." and don't give into the pressure to have someone else in your life. The last thing you want is to get so desperate that you fall for the first girl the instant she gives you attention- you need to slow down so you don't end up with an awful girlfriend that you feel you NEED to keep because you think you won't get another one. That's NOT true! Be patient and wait for the one. You should wait for her, instead of running through the crowd in a race to find a girlfriend.