Hi Guys,

I'm 27 years old and aside from still being a virgin (which sucks), I've never ever been on a date EVER! My parents were a bit protective (typical Indian parents) and until age 21, dating wasn't a big option or priority...on the bright side, I do have my own place (beautiful townhouse), a successful job (marketing associate) and am pretty and friendly although overweight. I just want to get everyone's opinions and thoughts on what they think of my situation. Any one going through the same situation?

Fr_Chuck

You start asking people,

Person at the store, person that lives near you, someone you meet at the libary, You ask enough people you will have a date, maybe even more than you want to date.

letmetellu

First I think you should thank your parents for being the strict parents that they were, you could have turned out to be a very sorry person. Now I for some reason assumed that you are a female, I think it was the phrase shere you said that you were pretty, that is really not a way that a male refers to himself. So I am going to speak to you as if you are a female. First I am going to mention you being overweight, that is not what is keeping you from getting dates, I see overweight people all the time that are dating. No you feeling about yourself fom being overweight is another things. You could be putting out vibes that are turnng people off because you thinking that your wver weight is the problem. If this is the case go to work on your body and try to trim down a bit, it doesn't have to be a lot just enough that you will feel better about your self.

Now the part about being a virgin, that is not the worst thing in the world , I know that it is something that in you time of life you feel like you are missing the best part of your life by not dating and not having sex. Sex will come at the proper time, at the present time and in the state of mind you are in it would be very easy for someone to take advantage of you, and you would hate yourself for that more than you are now. so do some reading find out what eating is all about find out how to meet guys, read about flirting, these are the things you should have learned in you hight school years, and still didn't have to have sex. Gain some self confidence, open up to others, make yourself available and enjoy life you have a lot of it left.

fredg

Hi,
You are not alone. There are many, many others who don't have any relationships with women.
Here are some tips which should get you a date:
1. SMILE, don't stop smiling to anyone and everyone. It shows you care, are a very friendly person, and are there for anyone to talk with.
2. When you start talking with a woman, LISTEN to them. Ask them questions about themselves, "What do you like to do?", "Where do you work?", "Do you work?", and whatever else you can think of.
Listen to them, be interested in what they say. Eventually, they will start asking you about yourself.
Remember, you can make more friends in one month by listening to others, than you can in one year by them listening to you (Dale Carnegie quote)
I do wish you the best of luck, and we create our own luck, by listening to others.

s_cianci

You sound like you're pretty much set in life and can do what you want at this point. If you want to meet potential dates and/or a potential marriage partner then you should network through friends, neighbors, coworkers or whoever. Join a couple of groups where you could potentially meet some people, such as a bowling league or a dance club. Obviously your "typical Indian parents" didn't arrange your marriage so you are free to pursue your own mate. Are you a churchgoer? That's always another potential source for meeting people. As for being "inexperienced" as you suggest in your post, you're actually quite fortunate that you've waited until now and completed your education, established a career and become self-sufficient. Whether you know it or not, you undoubtedly saved yourself from a lot of emotional damage and heartbreak. People who start dating in their teens are usually complete basket cases by the time they get to be 27 years old, whether they want to admit it or not. Breakup after breakup, feeling used and abused time and time again and all of the accompanying emotional damage that goes with it are the inevitable results of premature dating and relationship-seeking. You've very wisely avoided all of that, no doubt with the help and encouragement of your parents. You're now ready to take the world by the tail, so go for it and have a blast!

jc105

I don't mean to question parenting methods, but in my opinion sheltering people does not make them well adjusted individuals. And being successful does not make you happy, so I do disagree with those things.

I would agree that you should start asking people out. And if you are trully motivated to get yourself a man, why not work out. I am starting my work out routine tonight. If you are too busy then stop doing something that you can go back to. Remmber that life isn't your money, your house, or your car. Its your happiness and people have found that they are happy when they stop struggling with all the goals they thought they wanted and just worked on making themselves happy.

Oh and since your new to the scene, be careful, use protection if you do get yourself laid (Although women usually don't have trouble just finding 'someone') be careful to not get attached, may scare them away.

Oh a note for people who think sheltering children is a good idea. just remember that once they are out of your grasp they will find out how much fun they have been missing and will hate you and party their asses off. Ever seen a girl at her first college party away from restrictive parents?

Paint a picture for ya -

Drunk as hell, bras on the floor and she is doing a hand stand on a keg with six football players watchin.

That is what happens to a lot of sheltered girls. Some end up in similar situations as yours, and some end up as happy well educated well adjusted people, but I wouldn't bank on it.

All extremes are bad, too strict or too lose.

JC

wearschaoswell

Well, It's currently very "in" to date shy, innocent types. I stop short at the labels nerds or geeks, as that's somewhat insulting, but it's a generalization that applies. It's also very "in" to date those of a different ethnic background. You'll find this particularly true amongst those into the alternative music lifestyle who are less encumbered by what society thinks of their actions. You have the market covered in both areas...I think you'll actually find your self very popular in those circles. Furthermore, the virginity thing is less of a dilemma so long as as it is accompanied by a desire to love when you DO find the right person. After all, who wouldn't want to teach and explore with their (innocent) partner when the right time comes?

kristynn

Maybe you should just be more outgoing. Otherwise, I don't see any problems... So what you're 27 and never dated? So what your overweight?

I don't say that you should ask anyone out, but be more outgoing and you'll evenually find yourself a date, not just anyone!

Take it easy & good luck