Middle aged Gay Man in love with a married straight man

You need to stop contact with this man.. He is married and straight therefore he is off limits

You have no right to go in and screw up a marriage just because you have feelings for someone.. You need to be grown up about this and stop talking to him, because it seems to me that the more you see him the more you want him (how it is with everyone in love)

You will find the right person for you but this guy clearly isn't the one.. Stay away

Easier said than done. What do I say when I just stop talking to him when he calls me and ask me out? He's going to want to know why? And what do I say, I love you and I need to stay away from you? Then it brings up risk taking for me. Do I be a man about it taking that risk and take the consequences that comes with it? Besides, it takes two to tangle, I have no power to screw up his marriage that is all up to him.

Does he know you like him? Even if you are a woman he is still an off limits, He's is married.

There are a lot of things that feels good as of the moment but we know that we're not doing ourselves (and other people) a favor in the end.

Just politely avoid his calls. If he calls don't answer it. He you bumped into each other by accident, make alibi. If he asks why, no need for an answer. You got no obligation to explain.

I'm in agreement with the respond I've gotten, I am a firm believer that if you mess with a married man and he leaves his wife for you then the same will happen to you, I"ve seen it happen too many times to my straight women friends who thought it was cool to fool around with a married man and grant I do have some feelings that the rules don't pertain to me because I am a man, however, I have to talk to this man because of proffessional reasons and can't just end the relationship or it'll be suicide for my job, I have no intendsions of taking it any further because I'm a romanticist and loving someone with bagage isn't fun.... I just needed to think this out somewhere, I can't tell anyone at work because I think people who know both of us knows I like him because I'm always defending him when they bad-mouth him. I want to thank you both for your comments

I'm a formally married gay man (there are quite a few of us out there) and I have to wonder if this fellow you are so taken away by isn't possibly gay himself. Does he flirt with you? Any reason to think he's interested in more than just being friends? Even though he's married I'd still go for him myself if I felt they way you do. Maybe he needs someone to love before leaving his wife.

I say he's either gay or he's straight. If straight, you should move on and forget it. Find someone available (like me :-)); if he's gay he's in a bad relationship as it is being married to a woman.

He is off limits I'm sorry he is married

And that means something.

I wish you luck in finding another

MESS WITH A MARRIED MAN, AND YOU RISK BEING MESSED OVER.

What part of being his side distraction are you missing? Don't let love blind you to the simple fact that, he ain't leaving home, for what your offering.

It's funny you asked that question. When I first set eyes on him 8 years ago my first impression was "he's gay", then I found out that he was married and then I went to a retirement party knowing he will be there with his wife. Well, he came alone and I found out through the grapevine that he always alone without the wife when it came to office outings, also, rumor had it that he was having an affair with another woman employee. When I first set eyes on her my first impression was "Fag Hag"., the two of them were always together in the office, the other women would talk about them saying "she should leave him alone, he's married", then he became my boss and this is where the flirting started. He would make innuendos about him not giving his wife the "big one" and I've never asked him what he met by that. He knew I was gay because I made two feature films with drag queens actors of which he showed to his wife. I got a gift from him every Christmas and on my birthday. These gifts were always clothes or DVDs with gay characters. One Valentine day he told me that he was sad because I didn't give him flowers and candy. So you tell me... Is he gay or straight?

Well, he's definitely flirting with you if he's said those sorts of things. I don't know, but I really don't think a straight guy would say those things. And, the fact that he's married doesn't mean all that much as far as I'm concerned. A friend of mine told me that 25% of gay men were formally married (to women of course). I will say it means he may not be gay, but it is far from iron-clad proof he's straight. Gosh, look at me! I used to me married and I have kids and I'm as gay as gay can be.

I know everyone's going to be rolling their eyes when they read this, but I had a crush on my plastic surgeon recently (I went to him to have those dermal filler injections to soften the laugh lines in my face- that stuff works really well by the way- okay I'm a little vain) and I was surpised that this guy made such an impression on me since he's a year older than I am. I was definitely getting the gay vibe from him but I too was a little confused. He was married and divorced twice but had no kids (that made me presume he was't gay). He asked if I had ever been married and I told him once and divorced and then quickly changed the subject. I was dying for him to ask me out but then I ran out of reasons to keep going back to him! I didn't know what to do and I thought I let him get away...now I feel I missed an opportunity. Oh well.

If I were you I'd go for it. He's probably just a married gay guy. Come on a little stronger and see what happens.