Say a younger single guy is seduced into having an affair with an older married women and the sex is amazing but the guy ends up falling in love with her and the women says she's in love with him and wants to leave her husband for him, she says these things over a long period but shows no action to back it up. Should the guy believe anything she says or is she saying what ever she has to in order not to loose the sex? Or what else could it be?

Again, I know the guy getting involved with a married women was a mistake I'm not asking that, I just want to know what the mindset of the married women might be.

I think you know the answer to that!!

She is showing no actions to her words... so, do u believe her or not?

I wouldn't believe her, a married person having an affair is already a liar, not to be trusted. If she can't cheat on her man.. what makes her think she won't cheat on you!

Think about it...

Move on!

That's meant to be CAN
Sorry

Who really cares of the mind site. She is a liar and a cheat and can not be trusted at all.

There is a lot of scum out there. It makes me sick.

Joe

Makes me sick too Joe

As a married woman who has experienced this situation almost exactly as described, I must say that just because the woman lied to her husband about cheating doesn't mean she would necessarily do the same to her lover. Are there any children involved? That would make a huge difference. How long have her and her husband been together? Is the relationship abusive? Does she love her husband as well?

There isn't enough information to make a judgement call on that scenario. You would really have to be in his/her shoes to understand all the elements of the relationship on both sides. She may be very much in love with you, but is secure in her marriage and does not want to leave her husband simply for the love of another man. If children are involved, she would be splitting up her family for a love that could or could not last. There are many different levels to loving someone. In my case, I have a deep and secure love for my husband, but it lacks intensity and passion. I found that in another even though I would never have sought it out, and I gave it up because I didn't want to split up my family or hurt my husband because I do love and care about him so much. Now I will never be the same. Funny thing is, my situation happened around the time yours did. I didn't tell my husband for many reasons, though I came close several times. It doesn't matter what other people think about the situation, what matters is what's in your heart.

I never would have dreamed of cheating in a million years and looked down on it and anyone involved just as any normal, morale person would. Fact is , we're all human and we make mistakes. This entry is probably too late to help the person that wrote it, but maybe it can shed some light on someone else's confusion. I hope I may have helped in some way.

Leaving all the affair issues aside, it's pretty simple:

If I kept stabbing you in the heart & saying I will stop but keep doing it, what would my mindset be? Would it really matter to you what I was thinking / feeling or would actions speak louder than any words will?

If someone says they will make it possible to have a closer relationship with you but make no effort to do so, they are already telling you everything you need to know about their mindset & intentions.

At least if having an open, honest, functional, mutually healthy relationship is your goal. At best they are not willing or able to be fully truthful so you can face the issue(s) together with all the facts / thoughts about it & at worst they are flat out lying to suit their own needs without regard to yours.

I agree with BetrayalBtCamp Give her a time limit like Sept. 1 or Nov 1 to physically move out and away from him and if she doesn't all the excuses in the world do not matter.
Even if she does love you, even if she really would rather be with you what good is it as long as she is going to string you along indefinitely?
He has her you are just a side dish why settle for that!
She will string you along as she can as long as you let her.

There are several reason why some married women fall for a single guy. One maybe the married woman is simply longing for some diversion or is needing more passion or adventure in her lilfe which husband isn't providing. Another can be because the single guy is really likeable and awesome. I mean gentle and thoughtful etc... Or it could be just plain lust.