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    tina99's Avatar
    tina99 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Oct 10, 2006, 02:38 PM
    Married man
    I'm messing with a married man . He tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. Please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . Tell me what that mean.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
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    #2

    Oct 10, 2006, 02:41 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tina99
    im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.
    What that means is that he wants you to hang around while he has the benefits of being married and having a lover. He knows you are not going to look elsewhere if you believe he loves you and gives you a ring. Stop seeing him for awhile and see how much he loves you. If he does love you as much as he says, then he NEEDS to make the changes and become available to you in all senses of the word and ways. You deserve better.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #3

    Oct 10, 2006, 02:42 PM
    Does he have any kids?

    I just want to say, be prepared for the answers you are going to get. They will not necessarily be nice.

    Why a married man?

    If you were married would it be okay for your husband to be messing around behind your back? Would you like that? How would that make you feel?
    styler1972's Avatar
    styler1972 Posts: 21, Reputation: 4
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    #4

    Oct 10, 2006, 06:32 PM
    That right there is trouble. He shouldn't have to offer you with gifts to let you know he loves you. He shouldn't be doing this to his wife either... Becareful, do what's best for you kiddo...
    Sorry example- I was in the same situation when I was seeing a married woman 4 years ago.
    She told me so many times how she was going to end it and that she cared and loved me. At first when this all started, I thought this guy desrved it and I was the one to rescue her from his evilness.. I came to find out I was wrong and I was starting to feel really guilty. It went like that for another month and she kept on making excuses.. I finally ended it and never looked back.. She kept calling me about for two weeks and I did not give in. Few months past, I hear she's having a baby. I heard that her and the husband bought a new house.. The baby came, it wasn't his. It was his teenage brothers baby.Now she's with the brother.. I'm so glad I ended that!! I'm just saying that I did love her but that was the best move I ever made and I am so happy I am not in that situation... Beautiful Diva, this is one of the reasons I am cautious now...


    You live you learn
    You love you learn
    You cry you learn
    You lose you learn
    You bleed you learn
    You scream you learn
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,472, Reputation: 760
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    #5

    Oct 10, 2006, 06:39 PM
    It means that he's a conniving cheat and you shouldn't be wasting your time with him! How would you like it if that were your husband fooling around with someone else and buying her "promise rings" for Christmas? The only thing he's going to "promise" you is a broken heart so I'd bail out now. Run and don't look back.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #6

    Oct 10, 2006, 07:03 PM
    Your both lying cheating people and probably deserve one another.
    I pity you for hopeing that he loves you. You want the love of a liar. I suppose though that is what you deserve.
    Sorry to sound harsh but you are involved in something that isn't right and lots of people will get hurt.

    Stop seeing him now. Find someone who is single. Find someone you can trust and has respect enough for you not to be married to another women but also fool around with you. And that is all he is doing. Fooling around. I doubt he loves you. I doubt he would leave his wife for you.

    Can you honestly ever trust this man? Can you respect this man?

    If the answer is yes then you have no self respect!
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #7

    Oct 10, 2006, 07:05 PM
    Oh yeah the promise ring might mean that he promises you he won't tell his wife what he;s been up to!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #8

    Oct 10, 2006, 07:22 PM
    Let me see a man who has no morals but will leave his wife's bed in the morning after having sex with her, and he comes to you ( I wonder if he takes a shower) and then sleeps with you. He lies to his wife about loving her and you can believe he loves you?? Come on, you don't really, or you would not be asking.

    You are extra sex, different sex or worst than that a trophy to prove he still has his "old" charm.

    Ask him when he is going to tell his wife about you and leave her, or just tell him don't worry you have already sent her all the facts so he can be free to be with you.

    If you really want something out of it, tell him you got photos and that for a few more rings, you won't send them to the wife.
    If you are going to lower yourself to one immoral act you may as well go a little further and actually get something out of it.
    ( not really want you to black mail him but trying to make a point)
    Jessie49's Avatar
    Jessie49 Posts: 1, Reputation: 8
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    #9

    Oct 10, 2006, 09:50 PM
    I want you to know I am one of the wives whose husband cheated with a one or more women just like you. Let me tell you something sweetie. I left him a few times and each time he grew sick of the girlfriend and came crawling back.. Because of the situation I was in and my low self esteem at the time, I took him back.. and guess what! He did it again. Thankfully, I woke up and am no longer with him. I am a different woman today. You, my dear, are in for a rude awakening. Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter who they are with. That I can assure you. I feel so sorry for that mans wife. She does not deserve what is happening to her and if she has children their whole world could come crashing down around them. It is the most devastating thing that could happen to a family. The pain involved when a partner has an affair cannot be explained in words. She doesn't know so therefore she is not being given the opportunity to make a choice in her life. You do have a choice. You get out now and leave that family be. Yes you may be hurt but you made the decision to sleep with a another woman's husband. You have the power to do the right thing. Do not put that woman or those children through that heartache. He will most likely cheat again but at least it won't be you who caused the destruction. Please do what is right. He will never be what you think he will be. You always want what you can't have. Take my advice.
    Skell's Avatar
    Skell Posts: 1,863, Reputation: 514
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    #10

    Oct 10, 2006, 10:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jessie49
    I want you to know I am one of the wives whose husband cheated with a one or more women just like you. Let me tell you something sweetie. I left him a few times and each time he grew sick of the girlfriend and came crawling back..Because of the situation I was in and my low self esteem at the time, I took him back ..and guess what!! He did it again. Thankfully, I woke up and am no longer with him. I am a different woman today. You, my dear, are in for a rude awakening. Once a cheater, always a cheater no matter who they are with. That I can assure you. I feel so sorry for that mans wife. She does not deserve what is happening to her and if she has children their whole world could come crashing down around them. It is the most devastating thing that could happen to a family. The pain involved when a partner has an affair cannot be explained in words. She doesnt know so therefore she is not being given the opportunity to make a choice in her life. You do have a choice. You get out now and leave that family be. Yes you may be hurt but you made the decision to sleep with a another womans husband. You have the power to do the right thing. Do not put that woman or those children through that heartache. He will most likely cheat again but at least it wont be you who caused the destruction. Please do what is right. He will never be what you think he will be. You always want what you can't have. Take my advice.
    This is one of the best repsonses I have read to a poster aksing advice here at AMHD since I have been a member. It comes from experience but also offers a great solution to the problem.
    I really hope the original poster comes back and reads this post so she can see the damage that she WILL cause to another person!

    Well done Jessie!
    tre_cani's Avatar
    tre_cani Posts: 117, Reputation: 22
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    #11

    Oct 10, 2006, 11:01 PM
    A promise ring??

    Seriously. I haven't heard that term used since junior high school!

    He's married but sounds like a 14 year old.
    Krs's Avatar
    Krs Posts: 2,906, Reputation: 320
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    #12

    Oct 11, 2006, 01:18 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by tina99
    im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.
    Oh dear!
    And you believe materialistic things prove his love and respect for you :cool:

    Seriously, what would stop him from cheating on you? I mean he is currently cheating on his wife.. you are his bit on side!

    They never have a 'happy ending'.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #13

    Oct 11, 2006, 03:12 AM
    A promise ring is his way of keeping you at arms length while still toying with you and your emotions. If you like getting played you've found the right guy.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #14

    Oct 11, 2006, 07:08 AM
    He gave you a promise ring to let you know he will be back for his regular booty call.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #15

    Oct 11, 2006, 07:41 AM
    Leave this guy NOW!!

    "he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday" - of course he does - you give him sex - nothing more.

    He'll never leave his wife.

    He's a cheater - he'll cheat on you. Once a cheater - always a cheater. See Jessie's post. Her husband cheated and cheated.
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #16

    Oct 11, 2006, 07:54 AM
    Has he left his wife since Christmas? No. You are his mistress and nothing more.
    momincali's Avatar
    momincali Posts: 641, Reputation: 242
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    #17

    Oct 11, 2006, 12:46 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by tina99
    im messing with a married man . he tells me everyday he loves me, he calls me everyday. please tell me do he really loves me.he also, bought me a promise ring for christmas . tell me what that mean.
    I'll tell you what it means. It means that he hit the jackpot with a woman silly enough to give it up for the astronomically low price of a promise ring.

    It means he thinks you're dumb enough to think of that ring as some sort of actual promise.

    It means you're willing to sell your soul and spit on the woman who he promised to love and cherish until death do they part.

    Stop having sex with him and see how much longer he promises his undying love...

    You have sex with him for free?? At least prostitutes get paid, you're giving it away.
    Presleygall85's Avatar
    Presleygall85 Posts: 50, Reputation: 6
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    #18

    Oct 11, 2006, 01:07 PM
    Once a cheater always a cheater.. what makes you think that once he gets rid of his wife and is with you he won't turn around and do it again? Why would you want to risk that happening to you?

    Ask yourself this: would you want your husband doing what your doing? Or what he is doing to you?

    What goes around comes around, remember that!
    LUNAGODDESS's Avatar
    LUNAGODDESS Posts: 467, Reputation: 40
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    #19

    Oct 11, 2006, 03:35 PM
    Today some people find sympathy in your situation... I find women like you disappointing... you are with a man that made commitments to another woman to have and to hold from this day forward and he sees you and you sees him and he tells you he have another that he has a wife... he just broke a serious vow to an human being... but, you are so lonely that you over look his situation and get happy over a promise given to you on Christmas... the ring could have been a rejection from the wife and he gave it to you so not to go through the effort or the hassle of returning the ring:p
    High profile men that cheated publicly on their wives... Senator from Georgia a former house speaker gave his wife divorce papers while she was in the hospital fighting cancer... he married the other woman... a couple of years later... he divorces her and marries an other mistress... mayor of New York parade is mistress in front of his children and wife and publicly demeaned his wife in public... men with morality issues involve themselves in relationships like the one that you are in... this man has no ethic; is not trust worthy; and so do you... you are committing fornication and he has committed adultery... this is just nasty... how does it feels to kiss a guy before he comes to you has just kissed his wife and probably had sex (vaginal and oral)with her just before seeing you... how does she taste... :rolleyes:
    charlie123's Avatar
    charlie123 Posts: 93, Reputation: 19
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    #20

    Oct 11, 2006, 05:16 PM
    Leave this man alone! He is scum - he sees something weak in you & is trying to get whatever you will give him. If he were to leave his wife (which he won't!) & has a serious relationship with you (which he won't!) - he will do the same thing to you (which he surely will!). You deserve someone who loves you & someone who is not a liar and a cheater. Please, Please, Please leave him alone for your own well being. And as far as the promise ring - I would wrap it up & give it back to him with a little note saying 'I Deserve Someone Better'.

    May God bless you and guide you to do the right thing - and may you find True Love!

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