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When me and my bf met he did alot for me. he was so sweet for few years. As 5 years pass by he became treating me like ****. i tried hard to make the relationship work but he didn't care. He always said that no matter what i'm going to be with him. We fought alot, most of the time because of him. (e.g he dosen't talk to me alot he doesn't like talking to me or chilling with me alot. we fight about that. He blames me for his problems he has in his life.) He doesn't like me telling him what to do. He doesn't like to hear advices from me. In 5 years that i been with him we kept breaking up and going back, I would go back because i felt bad that i hurted him. My family, i can't turn to them because we dont' talk. I thought everything will get better but its getting worse. I don't know what to do. Everyone around me kept telling me to break up with him, because he is not a good person. But I can't. I love him...What should i do???I always blamed my self for him being like that.What should i do? If i should break up with him? It's goin gto be hard? How should i do it?
He doesn't seem to be concerned about your feelings so you need to stick to your breaking up when you leave and do not look back. Guys like this love making the girl feel responsible for the problems so they can feel free to do what ever they want. Why do you want to live with this kind of love? Leave him and find some real love!
First you have to learn how to love your self enough to know you do not deserve the belittling and he doesn't deserve your worrying about hurting him. You said you broke up with him before you can do it again. Next time put your whole mind into staying away. Start right off by meeting new people and keeping your mind occupied with other things. Envision a great life without him and goals that you would like to see yourself doing. I bet he holds you back from many goals that you have had.
When guys say things like 'no matter what we will always be together' it is often a control statement.
hun you cant blame yourself for him being the way he is thats his bloody problem not yours,so stop blaming yourself for it for a start.
if the relationship is bad you should leave if you stay itll only make you even more unhappy than you are,yes itll be hard leaving because youve been together so long but think of it this way you have tried to make it work you said it yourself,but he doesnt care
if he doesnt care WHY are you still their???
why be with somebody that treats you like ****??
hes only crushing you slowly and when you do leave you are going to feel like your **** and your not,your worth more than that,you deserve more than that and better than that,you deserve somebody to love you and to be treated like your aperson not **** on their shoe,
SO PICK YOURSELF UP! DUST YOURSELF OFF! PACK YOUR STUFF! AND GET OUT OF THEIR!! AND START ANEW LIFE
tell yourself '''your worth more than that'' ''you can do better than him'' ''he doesnt deserve you'' ''you are agood person and need to be with somebody that respects you and loves you for being you''
yes its going to be hard but life is hard and with time itll get easyer and the hurt will fade and the memories but it will take time hun you just have to sick at it move out,make sure you have ALL your stuff and dont tell him were you are,and start no contact no texes no emails no nothing,change your number ect
dont tell him were you are i stress this because he mite come round to make you feel worse and to take him back,if you can move while hes out and leave him anote get your mail redirected get your friends to help you pack and move more hands will help you get out faster
its not your fault hes given up on your relationship it takes 2 to have arelationship and 2 to make it work and if 1 has given up then theirs no point trying to make it work by yourself because your fighting alosing battle its best to leave and start new and find somebody that you deserve
if he really cared he would listen and he would WANT to listen to you. your opinions would matter. yes it would be hard to break up with him but it seems like you will be much happier after you do it. he might regret it or he might not care. but you need to do what is best for you.
Realize that when you have sex with a guy you form a bond and that bond is hard to let go of no matter how bad they treat you. It can be as strong of a bond as family so naturally it is hard to let go. Even when a child grows up with a parent that beats them often the child will still have a love for the parent because of the bond. You need to realize that you have to break and cut the emotional bonds with him or he will have you tied down right where he wants you until you can't take it any more and then you might not be able to get free. Many women always find an excuse to stay and by the time their kids are in their teens they are seriously wishing they never stayed.
yeah i agree nohelp4u and the longer you stay the worse the verble abuse,emotional abuse and the physical abuse will get, their mite not be any now but as time goes on and he realises youll stay no matter what he chucks at you things could get so bad that he snaps at something you said and hits you,it can happen
it happens everyday and most females dont stick up for them selves they let it happen over and over again why??? BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY LOVE HIM!!!
i was 16 and stuck with afella that locked me in are flat wouldnt let me see myfamily or friends,when we started going out it was great we would go everywere talk all nite he'd get me little things not much but at the time the thought counted,then he realised afew of mymates and his would flirt with me he stopped taking me out,he would get up before i did and lock the door and take the keys[we lived on the 3rd floor with apvc door that couldnt be opened from either side unless you had the key] then he would come home late and start an arguement over something stupid like ''why had i moved the furniture round'' and because i awnserd his question id get aslap ,the slaps turned into punches after aweek or 2 then worse,i couldnt get away from him,plus i had nowere to go,i lost touch with family friends he smashed mymobile and snapped the sim card up so i couldnt call the police,he took all the window keys ect it was really bad that was ahole year of mylife but in away im glad it happend because i learned to stand up for myself and take no s**t from anybody and the saying is ''you learn by your mistakes'' when i got away from him id panic if i seen acar like his,or seen afella wearing the same coat.my self esteem was low,confidence none,i blamed myself for everything he done to me,people say you can leave if you want to but i know its hard but they do have an emotional hold over you well my x did yes i was 16 and stupid but the emotional hold was still their he would say things like ''no one will love you like i do'' he would put me down by calling me names,he would say nice things but that was after he beat the 7 colours of s**t out of me,he was anasty piece of work and i had new him ayear before we started going out he would bring flowers n chocs n keyrings saying i love you on them i thought he was nice but i was SO wrong!! he changed so fast and before i realised it,it was to late
but you can get out it will be hard but its the best thing for you and your health and mental health get out before anything like this happens to you
Yep at first you think you can 'put up with it' by the time you actually see how bad it can get it is what he learned he can and will get away with with you. Then he progressively pushes your buttons more and more. Then one day you wake up and realize you can not reverse the years of abuse he is now capable of.
Everyone around me kept telling me to break up with him, because he is not a good person.
From what you have written, everyone is right . But I can't. I love him...
No you don't and you don't love yourself so how can you love him. love is about being happy, and you sure as heck don't sound happy. What should i do???
Thats simple as everyone around you, here included tells you to get him out of your life. I always blamed my self for him being like that.
Thats not true and thats what he wants you to think to control you and break your spirit, which he has done. What should i do?
Break up with him. If i should break up with him?
Yes, you heard right. It's goin gto be hard?
maybe, but do it any way as anything is better than what your doing now. How should i do it?
Doesn't matter. Disappear, Run and hide, Get your best guy friends to beat him up, anything that gets you away from him, is a great idea.
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