Im not into this stuff,another sob story,,but here goes

I met this guy,,whom i did not think i would possibly fall for,,somehow he managed to win me over,,i have a strong heart and will, and analyze motives of guys who asks me out as well as if i see a future with them b4 going further..

Maybe its this phobia i have with being hurt,,hence d extreme measures,,

Anyway i met this guy early this year,,we both had been hurt b4 and didn’t want to go thru it again,,marriage came up very quickly, he is the first person in 28 yrs I’ve spoke to my family about,,and I did not see or probably was blinded to 1 aspect that would create no future for us,,,we could not reach a compromise and decided to part in May,,though till few days ago keeping in touch regularly,,sometimes even telling each other they are still missed and luved

I was preparing myself,,to accept he will meet someone else sumday,,however when he told me on Sunday, he was out on his first date ,,I cant describe how it felt,,
I did not show him how hurt I was, in fact I showed him I was happy he met sumone ,,but inside, my heart was hurting so much and it still does,,it hurts to knw he’s gone and will be spending his life wit sumone else

I know time heals,,but d healing seems to come so slow,,I knw im speaking to soon as its only 3 days,,

Am drowning my sadness in sleep ,,cos everytime im awake he’s on my mind, feel like a zombie

bluerose

That was a very brave decision parting because you saw no future for you both. You could still be friends. But I know getting over the initial shock of seeing him with someone else will be hard. I was married twenty years, a whole lot had happened in that time, we decided to divorce and stay friends which we did. He has been married, and engaged twice, since we split up. And yes it still hurts inside to see him with someone else. We even went out together for about a year and then just decided to leave things as they were. I want him to be happy so I keep the other stuff to myself. I really don't know if that helps but I wish you well. You need to trust your first instincts.

gbabe

Thanks,,I fool people easily with my brave front,,den cry in a hole sumwer ,,in fact, when it comes to sumone I luv, am just a real sucker( speaking from experiences).

U must be really strong, going thru that divorce after 20yrs and remaining friends!( is that even possible??) wont it hurt more,,why don’t you totally cut him loose,,don’t be his fallback,,its gonna hurt,,but not as much as being updated on who he’s with and having all those pics in ur mind of them together,,why torture urself.

Are you seeing anyone,,have u moved on? Y harbour feelings for sumone who has clearly moved many times on,,I don’t knw how u do it..

Its so difficult to find sumone u luv with similar values and belief, and even harder when u lose them. Am not a saint,,but u could say a pretty devout catholic,,divorce is definitely not an option for me,,marriage for me is what it is,sacred,,finding sumone u luv who feels d same these days is like a miracle.

Getting involved with this guy, let me know what I really cant compromise on and has helped me know what I want out of a relationship..its like the saying, people come into your life for a reason…

I hope ur a bit more selfish though,,don’t always think u have to make him happy,,its no harm putting ur happiness first for a change..

Thanks for responding,,and I wish you find the happiness u deserve

N0help4u

I have the same problem. I really start caring, even loving a guy and then I realize there is no future and things are going bad and give up on him. I spend more years alone than the few months I spend with having a bf.
But I think it depends on why you think there is no future. Is it because you feel like your relationship isn't going to get any deeper than where it is and expect more from love? Or do you feel he will not help pull his weight financially? Or does he start taking you for granted and acting different than the image he first wanted you to have of him? Are you just being too picky and/or wanting some idealistic relationship? Are you looking for a more outgoing life and he likes being in a rut? Are you just getting scared of being hurt? Some of the answers to these issues can be worked through others can't. So really think about what specific things that make you feel the relationship isn't going anywhere and think about ways that you could fix them so they do go somewhere. It just may be worth it to tell him you are having second thoughts and want to talk to see if you can work through these things. Sometimes love is work and compromise. It is likely you are not going to find a prince that is everything you could dream of and once this guy finds another girlfriend it may be too late and you will wish you hadn't given up so easily.

gbabe

am convinced its d best decision for us both,,I don’t ask for much out of a relationship,him 2,,its juz that this issue has come to a dead end,,I understand his reason and he understands mine..

Its now about letting go,,which is harder done then said,,especially when the other has begun to move on,,

Anyways, here’s hoping this will be over soon

bluerose

gbabe,

It's different for me as I'm a lot older, things change as you get older and you realise that relationships doesn't end they just change. You'll always remember the different types of relationships you had with people. And things won't hurt so much once you accept that they can change.

gbabe

its true,,I understand people change especially over a long time,,
Its gud to know you are able to accept it..

I know he has made a difference and will be special to me in sum unique way,,,however I'm not strong enough to be in touch with him as a friend at this point,,,maybe in time to come when I'm able to see him with sumone else and truly be happy for him,,thats when I know I'm able to accept him back as a friend..

Thanks for your insight and support