its complicated in alot of ways, We have been working with each other now for bout 9 months and taking our breaks together n visiting each other in work flirting and so on. Recently i told her how i felt and she revealed she felt the same way, and it seems like the more time we spend together the more we get attached and we dont even spend money when we are together so i know money isnt a cause for anything, and now her friends are even saying why are you still with your current boyfriend cuz they see us together so much. she doesnt use me for money, she doesnt dump her emmotional problems with her boyfriend on me and doesnt well atleast tries her hardest not to mention him around me. recently she started telling her friends who tell me that she says she is getting bored of her boyfriend and she constantly tells her friends she is confused. ive told her before that i am not forcing her to break up with him and we do not cheat. ive told her as long as she is with him we will just remain best friends which is kinda hard to do when u have feelings for them lol. what should i do? be patient and stick it out and wait for the boyfriend to mess up or something?

charles-

well back when we were just friends she use to tell me he used drugs occasionally like weed, she says he has no ambitions, no motives, when i was just a friend it sounded to me like he was mooching off her. im just slightly confused as to if she is worth waiting on, i think she is but i cant just wait n wait forever, wat am i to do? i guess i am going to wait but in the mean time live a single life.

charles-

bobit thx for the responses, she knows how i feel and its funny its been about 3 weeks since she's known, i guess time will tell. she has been goin out with this guy now for a year tho, and when girls have been wit sum 1 that long they tend not to always be happy just comfortable and dont want things to change, im tryna show her that if she made the change with me it be a better change, id b her new and improved

CSW6314

i think you should still be there for her but not exactly wait on her. just becasue you like her doesnt mean you have too put off all other girls untill she decides to leave her bf. if she never does leave him you will have wasted all that time for nothing. dating other people doesnt mean your feeling for her has to change. continue to be her bestfriend for now and if her and her current bf breakup an you are still single then go for it.

charles-

yea thats true, it would be time waisted if she never left him. maybe sooner or later it will have to come down to her making a choice in my face.

still looking for other opinions tho

Scleros

Been there, done that. Welcome to the nice guy friend zone. I don't recommend it. It's a misery unlike any other.

Dude, get a clue. Stop analyzing. She doesn't respect you. If she wanted YOU, she'd be with YOU. She is with HIM and has you as a backup too. You even told her the two of you would remain friends! She's got you wrapped around her little finger.

Quit kidding yourself. You aren't her platonic friend, you want to have sex with her. You want happily-ever-after. Are you strong enough to endure a decade as her "friend"? How about two decades? What will you say when she calls you up late one night while you're lying there alone thinking about her and wishing and tells you they are engaged. Are you going to the wedding?

The probability is low that she will turn to you even if she and the other guy break up. Who's going to jump in the arms of the hovering vulture thats been awaiting the breakup?

The best thing you can do for your sanity and put things into perspective for her is to start dating someone else immediately.

JBeaucaire

I have a slightly different response. If your post is TOTALLY honest, you haven't hedged any info that would make this creepy, then I don't see your situation as particularly inappropriate or problematic.

You are good friends and would also pursue her romantically if she were available. And you've told her. And you're not alllowing anything untoward to happen while she's got a BF, too.

Sounds to me like this is all normal push and pull in the dating world.

You can continue your relationship with just the way it is, be the gentleman you've been. But do NOT wrap your whole dating world around her either. Make sure you're out there meeting other girls, too. Liking her is fine, missing all the other excellent girls at the same time is not fine.

s_cianci

If you decide to "stick it out and wait for the boyfriend to mess up" you'll be waiting in vain. You can continue your friendship with her if you want. But don't wait around for conditions to change anytime soon. If you're wanting things to be more, well you don't have that and maybe never will.

topladyj

Okay I have been there and done that....I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. I have talked to a few guys in the past cause I would like to move on but at the same time I love the man I am with. He has even been caught with one of his co workers at her house getting her drunk while he was soposed to be with me. For one she is not ready to leave or she would have done it. I think you sound like a really nice guy find a great chick not a hoe. Cause you know what if she is doing this to him if you guys ever hook up she will be talking to so and so later on. I wouldn't risk it. Keep lookin babe you got a lot going on for you and never dip your pen in company ink.........this is never good.

talaniman

You are attracted to someone who is unavailable, so be friends, and do not cross the lines. That doesn't mean waiting for something that may not happen, as that would be pretty dumb, but live single and be free. Even if she broke up with him, why should she rebound from him to you???