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Originally Posted by shummerv Ok so i really like this girl and she has a boyfriend they have been together for 3 years we have been friends for about 4 months I never liked her until about a month ago we stated talking more but i didnt tell her my feelings because she had a boyfriend and didnt want to ruin that for her. She then started flirting with me more but nothing serious we joked around about how cute the kids would be if we had some but that was just joking around. she then broke up with her boyfriend she had complained about him alot but he is a nice guy and i had told her that prior to them breaking up. we then hung out and ended up sleeping together then two days later he convinced her that he would change and to give him one more chance so she got back together with him, this was the first time they had broken up in 3 years so it wasnt a on then off type of relationship. for the couple days that we were intimate she kept saying how right it felt being with me. so after they got back together she still is hanging out with me all the time and kissing me and doing everything but sex but she is still always talking about wanting to have sex but something always happens so we dont and even though we havnt slept together again due to the fact that her boyfriend is now keeping a very short leash on her we are cuddleing and doing what a boyfriend and girlfriend would be doing, but when she has to leave to go back to her boyfriend she hessitates and procrastinates and says how much she just wants to stay with me and once again saying how right it feels to be with me but that she knows its wrong because she does have a boyfriend. i just dont know what to do i have now started to like her even more, i am being reserved so i dont get as badly hurt either and i dont want her boyfriend to find out because i dont want him to be hurt because of whats happening either because he is a nice guy. i just dont know what to do but i have to do something because he is starting to get quite suspecious because she is always over at my house. help please  i just want her to be happy no matter the outcome. i just cant keep going like this. |
I think alot of people will tell you that messing with a girl who has a boyfriend is wrong and improper, however it is not! it depends on how you approach the situation entirely. Being forward, sexual and derogatory of the boyfriend, or making private plans with the woman is very un-ethical and to me, is very wrong.
However, in your case, since you've already made that move and gone WAY TO DAMN FAR with an AFFAIR; i would suggest you tell her to break-up with her boyfriend in some way like. "Well if you want to be with me, why aren't you?". Her answer will either be, "I love him", "ok", or somehting along the lines of, "i love you both". in which case (and i'm assuming she's being quite selfish). she needs to know that she can't have the best of both worlds.
It is a waste of your time to dilly-dally around the IDEA of one day being together but wasting your time with secret meetings and affairs. She needs to know that you want to make something out of your relationship and you don't want to sit around doing what SHE wants and you get to be on her leash.
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