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i lied to my boyfriend and now he can

Asked Apr 30, 2012, 12:18 PM — 4 Answers
help!!
been in a relationship for almost 2 years, I have lied to this man twice now where there is no trusting. I was asked if I am in contact with my xhusband and said no when i was and he found out. We me and my x husband have a child together but that is not why he contacted, he contacted me b/c he is still in love with me. I for some strange reason think my BF is cheating on me, but i think its because what i was doing. Do you think he will ever gain his trust in me or do you think he is cheating on me. He shows no signs, home every night, we do everythign together. Only time he would have is at work. :( I lied and i shouldnt of.

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DoulaLC's Avatar
DoulaLC Posts: 8,463, Reputation: 8041
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#2

Apr 30, 2012, 03:04 PM
Perhaps you might want to have a chat with him and apologize for your past mistakes. If you have a child with your ex, you will obviously have to be in contact now and then. Is there some reason why you felt that you needed to lie about being in contact?

Why do you worry about your current man cheating? Have you had any reason in the past to worry? If not, and since he is with you the majority of the time, other than at work, it is unlikely that he is.

What are you feelings for your ex at this point? Have you had thoughts of still wanting to be with him? If so, maybe that is why you are concerned about your boyfriend cheating...because you have had those thoughts yourself?

He'll be able to trust you again when you behave in a trustworthy manner. That means no more lying.
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joypulv's Avatar
joypulv Posts: 11,987, Reputation: 9231
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#3

Apr 30, 2012, 03:29 PM
I have a feeling that you suspect your boyfriend because you don't trust yourself.
But just how far did you go when 'contacted' by your ex?
You need to have some contact with him so that you can raise your shared child well.
If you met to drop off/pick up the child and he was pleading, and you let him for far too long and even got into some serious touching, then you need to sit down with yourself and decide what exactly it is you want. Stop suspecting someone who shows no evidence of cheating and fix your own trustworthyness.
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laurensunshine's Avatar
laurensunshine Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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#4

May 1, 2012, 05:09 AM
thanks, we dont ever see each other. Our child is in HS and can fin for himslf. I changed my email address, phone # and have no contact with him. But yes you are right. I dnt trust him because of my actions. Thanks for your advice.
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laurensunshine's Avatar
laurensunshine Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
New Member
  
#5

May 1, 2012, 05:12 AM
you are so right.... I had contact with my x but left him alone. he kept emailing me and i had to change my email address (delete) and phone#... but you are right the only reason i felt or did feel that was b/c of my actions...thanks so much for your advice. this helps. i have taking me some ME time to think things over.
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